


Help Me Help You

by Moozealand



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 18+, Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Ending, Attempted Murder, Attempted Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Crushes, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hydra (Marvel), Multi, Murder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-HYDRA Reveal, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Reader-Insert, Rescue Missions, Slow Burn, Smut, Some Humor, Sort Of, Suicide Attempt, Team as Family, Violence, this is the slowest burn to have ever burned so get ready
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-05-05 11:45:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 80,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14617779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moozealand/pseuds/Moozealand
Summary: Bucky is restless after Steve pries him out of Hydra's hands, bringing him back to live with him and the Avengers in the Stark tower.He's only getting used to the real world again before Hydra is getting the Avengers' attention once more.They are selectively kidnapping civilians and dumping their bodies on the side of the road, pumped full of chemicals which makes S.H.I.E.L.D believe that they're working on a new serum, although it's nothing like any of them have ever seen before.The serum could make an unstoppable weapon and when the Avengers come to search for it, they find a girl instead. They take her back to live with them for her own safety, but what they still need to find out is that the key to the serum lies in her blood.Both haunted by Hydra, Bucky and the girl find comfort in each other, even though they were both created to hurt.





	1. Old Habits Die Hard

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kind of an AU cause I did sort of fiddle with the Captain America: Winter Soldier / Avengers: Age Of Ultron timelines...  
> And so it starts with an alternate ending: Steve bringing Bucky to the tower after the end of CA:WS. Wanda is already there because I switched the stories' timelines and all of the Sokovia stuff has already happened like a year before that (and because the protagonist is in desperate need of a female friend)
> 
> Also please bear with any of the grammatical mistakes I'll make.. English isnt my first language  
> Anyway, I hope you like it

He fiddled with his thumbs, both the metal and the flesh one. For one second, a little flinch really, his left hand rose to his mouth in an attempt to nibble on the skin there before it came back to him. It still happened sometimes, when he was too far gone in his thoughts to realize. His right hand moved to cover his left one.  
His eyes were beginning to hurt, starting to water as he stared blankly at the bright screen in front of him, otherwise surrounded by darkness that filled the living space. He let out a deep sigh that rumbled inside his chest and squinted his eyes together, trying his best to focus. He was so _fucking tired_ , but still couldn’t bring himself to rest his eyes, get some sleep. Because he was restless altogether. He couldn’t simply doze off. Sleep either found him with another familiar nightmare, having him grip the sheets and shouting to keep the others up at night, or it didn’t find him at all. 

His neck creaked in protest as he looked back up, watching the little figures move on the screen. They seemed happy. And maybe some nights watching them calmed him down a little bit. But tonight was no such night. He sighed again and put down his feet that had been resting on the low glass table in front of him, sitting up straight and rubbing his right hand over his face. _He really should shave_ , he thought and stood up from his seat on the couch, finding the remote with the tiny red button until he was surrounded by utter darkness once again. Well, not quite. The kitchen behind him threw some sort of dim light onto his form, illuminating the fridge mysteriously, invitingly almost and he decided to get himself a little something before going to his room. 

43 days. That’s how long he had been inside this monstrosity called the Stark tower. Not one bit had it started to feel like home. To be fair he hadn’t really tried, never given it a shot. But all things considered, it was hard for him to find one. He hadn’t known what it felt like in a really long time. He wondered if he had just lost the feeling.  
On the other hand, he was _indeed_ living together with two ladies who were both some sort of ex-Hydra-agents, one bird with sunglasses, another asshole in an armored suit, his 94-year-old best friend and a doctor that could lose control and forget who he was, too, except he’d get big and green and the consequences would be much worse. _Oh_ , and also he had tried to kill at least half of them.  
Maybe it wasn’t such a big of a question after all. In the end, it had only been 43 days.

He slouched back upstairs with a glass of orange juice in his hand, the metal clinking against it as he carried it to his room. He closed the door with a foot pushed against it and took a look at the room’s meager furnishing. A bed, a small desk with a wobbly chair, one nightstand and a closet. It was more than he had ever owned within the last 70 years of his life, but it still didn’t quite do the trick. The moonlight shining through his window drowned his room in an icy blue and suddenly he couldn’t find himself underneath the covers fast enough. He placed the juice onto his nightstand and basically sunk into the mattress, face first into the pillow, one of his legs still hanging off the bed’s edge and maybe he should start to believe in miracles because he didn’t even find the strength to pull the blanket over his body before he drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

*** 

He woke with a start at the sound of the coffee machine’s hissing in combination with cups clanging against each other, the sharp noise of colliding porcelain enough to make his eyes shoot open. They still burned, the sleep was short-lived, but he did not have a single nightmare, having slept through for once in a while and woken up in the same position he had fallen into the bed, drool running down the side of his mouth… He sure considered that a win.  
Getting up he ran a hand through his tousled hair, getting stuck half-way because it was getting long enough to hold knots, his fingers fighting their way through them. He cleared his throat and got out of the semi-comfortable bed, letting his joints pop before heading for the kitchen. He was still clad in his clothes from the night before, something reoccurring that shouldn’t be that big of a deal, yet he found Steve’s cocked eyebrow to be telling stories about it.  
He was the first to get out of bed in the morning, something that still stuck with him since the military and as a matter of fact, it really didn’t seem that far away for him. He had been on ice for a couple of decades after all. Like all those years had never even existed. To him anyway. That time was taken from him. Perhaps better this way since he surprisingly still acted like the young boy from Brooklyn he had grown up with.  
“What?” He cautiously asked the blonde, hiding behind his own head of hair.  
“It’s the second day you’re wearing that, Buck.” His eyebrow still hovered high on his forehead.  
“So?” He continued, taking the seat in front of him and grabbing his mug of steaming hot coffee. Steve did not seem amused. Rather… _worried_. He sighed and placed his left hand against his temple to cool himself down. He still felt his eyes on him.  
“Bucky, don’t think I’m not happy to have you here, because I am. I couldn’t be happier to have my best friend back.” He said, yet the words still felt so weird coming from him.  
No, Steve hasn’t changed. Not one bit. _He_ was the problem because he hadn’t been entirely off the earth’s surface within that exact time span. He was a different man. Yet he tried not to be, for him at least.  
“And I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re not under Hydra’s control anymore. Buck, I don’t want you killing like that anymore, not good for anyone’s sake, but…” He sighed deeply and paused before he said his next words. He seemed like he chose them carefully. He always did.  
“You need to do something with yourself. Exercise, go for a run with me. I usually run with Sam, but he’s pretty slow for me anyways.” He chuckled. I smiled back at him tiredly and his own smile faded.  
“I know that I can never know what you’ve been through or what it’s been like, but I want you to know that even after all of it, I’m still here for you if you need me. Whatever you need to get through it, I’m with you.”  
A flashback resided in his head.  
“To the end of the line.” He whispered absentmindedly, but his friend got the message.  
“To the end of the line, pal.” He gripped Bucky’s shoulder to make him look at him. Steve saw his tired eyes and the shadows underneath them. He knows he’s been restless since he had arrived here and obviously no one complained even though he did have a very troubled past, very loud nightmares that didn’t only keep him up at night, but also a _very_ dangerous alter Ego that could resurface at any time as much as any of them knew. It would take time and a lot of healing, but Steve was ready to help his friend through it. Perhaps find the one that had fallen off the train and into the hands of Hydra, not this broken version of him. He really hoped he could do that for not only Bucky, but for himself as well. He needed it almost as much as his friend did.  
“I’ll look into it.” Was all that fell from Bucky’s lips, but it was enough for Steve as he nodded slowly, understandingly, before heading for the elevator, ready for his morning jog.  
He clamped his hand around the hot mug and let his head drop a little, letting out a held-in sigh. He knew Steve was right. He couldn’t go around killing anymore, but sitting around, living out his insomnia was not a true option, either. He needed to occupy his mind. Ease into the life of an avenger, if that really was what they were trying to ease him into. He was laughing internally at that self-given title. But he had to do something, he knew that much.

One thing was for sure, he needed to talk to one certain asshole in an armored suit and he was not looking forward to it.


	2. Cut Off One Head...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony reveals Hydra's plan. The plot thickens.

“Oh, good. The moody soldier hath blessed us with his presence.” Tony spat sarcastically, stalking around that conference table like a predator ready to pounce. 

Bucky only grumbled as he let himself fall into a seat in the back of the room, still close enough to the door so that he could hypothetically go as soon as it’d become too much for him. And with “it” he was referring to a certain Mr. Stark. 

He felt all pairs of eyes resting upon him as he continued to sink back into the chair, but he didn’t look back up.  
“Ease off him, Tony.” He heard a woman’s voice say calmly. Black Widow. He didn’t _need_ to look back up for that to know, yet he did anyway. She was looking back at Tony who was just giving her a look.  
“Don’t worry, darling. I won’t be acting up… not as long as certain people will respect the given time schedule. Set by all parties, remember?”  
Both Bucky and Black Widow huffed at that.

“Anyway. Let’s continue.” He spoke.  
“Let’s _start_. You haven’t missed anything, man.” The bird-guy mentioned and pursed his lips, raising his eyebrows, seemingly unimpressed with Stark’s empty threats. Bucky nodded slowly.  
“Quiet, children.” Tony continued and raised his hands, gesturing until a vivid image sprang to life in front of the group. Bucky still couldn’t get used to today’s technology.

“This” He continued and called up a profile picture of a man in his late twenties. Dark hair, stubble, full lips, kind eyes.  
“Is Daniel Rivas. Grew up in Monterrey, stable household. Went to law school, bright guy, got offered at least a dozen scholarships.”  
He paused before switching to the next picture.  
It showed a picture of a young woman, probably around the same age, slinging her arms around a person whose face was covered by a hat. She was smiling into the camera, she had a big smile. Long hair too, dyed blond even though her dark roots had long grown out.  
Tony sighed before he continued.

“Haylie Avalon. Canadian college student living in Michigan. She had lots of friends according to her parents, your typical girl next door.” He skipped over to the next one, showing two teenage girls.

“Isaura and Julia Jimena, twin sisters from Spain.” 

Next one.

“Nina Alice, French kindergartner.” 

Next.

“Yorick Lambert, Belgian mechanic.” 

He swiped through the photos aggressively before taking a minute to take a deep breath and collect his thoughts.  
“The question I’m asking you is what do all of them have in common? They all have different backgrounds, passports, most of them don’t even speak the same language.” He started pacing around the desk again and Bucky’s back straightened in his seat.  
He didn’t enjoy how Tony was acting, appalled, talking like he was holding his breath until he could get out his next sentence.

Tony looked into blank faces before waving his hand once more, the collage of pictures in front of them making some of the team gasp out loud. 

The photos were taken out of police files, the familiar faces from before all marked up with black bars covering their eyes. Those were crime scenes with their corpses littering the invisible screen. Still fully clothed, all of their bodies scattered. Whether propped up against a tree or laying on a bench, lying on a field, inside a crappy apartment with a dirty carpet… 

“ _Jesus Christ_ , Tony…” Steve said next to him in an incredulous tone and shifted in his chair, sending him a glare.  
“I know it’s terrible, okay?” He held out a hand, gesturing for Steve to calm down.  
“I don’t like it any more than you do, but with this case we got to do a little detective work to get to the ground of this and we’ll only do this if we have all the information we can get.”  
Steve still didn’t seem convinced. Not anyone did, really.

“Continuing, the only thing those people had in common was their cause of death. The local polices gave out as little information about the cases they could and for each kid, they told the same old story; death due to excessive drug use. Overdose. Of cause they only said that to keep the folks quiet about it, open and closed case.” He swiped to the right.

“But what all the coroners found in their bloodstream were no regular drugs.” He called up a page with all sorts of chemical compounds, formulas that didn’t make sense in the slightest to Bucky, but he was obviously not the only one since he felt everyone else’s gaze move over to the currently-not-so-green doctor. His brows were furrowed as he looked closer, standing up.

“The FBI got involved after they found out about each and every one of them and what was found inside their bodies, but they couldn’t find out what was going on either, so they moved it on to the big boys. Fury told me about this a couple of days ago, thought it was best if we got involved-”  
“To do his detective work?” The young girl with the East-European accent and long red hair spoke up, crossing her arms in front of her chest.  
“Yeah, also why are you always the one to know about this shit first?” Sam chimed in with the same attitude as the Scarlet Witch. Tony rolled his eyes.  
“Not quite, Wanda. It’s because of what they found in their bloodstream…” He turned to look at Bucky and what would come next dawned on him immediately.

“It’s the serum.” Bruce added, astonished as he was still observing the formula.  
Silence filled the room as panic shot through Bucky’s body.  
“What do you mean?” Steve asked sternly, yet confused. Meanwhile his best friend was having a heart attack.

_How the hell was it still out there?_ Unless…

“Hydra.” Bucky whispered and all eyes laid on him. More silence.  
“…Yes.” Tony added uncomfortably. They didn’t know if it was still a topic too sensitive to discuss with him, but on the other hand he had been the one asking Tony for a change.  
“They must’ve found a copy after all.” Bruce muttered and used his own hands to zoom in closer on the picture, the hemogram, readjusting his glasses. 

“Although… this… isn’t the original. I’ve seen how it alters your cells, Steve and… Bucky. This, this is something else. A mutated version let’s say.” He stammered. Bucky looked at Steve, but neither of them looked anything other than baffled and frankly… _scared_.  
“That’s how far S.H.I.E.L.D had gotten already.” Tony confirmed, facing the doctor, then the rest of the group.

“This is big, you guys. We can’t prove it yet, but Hydra had kidnapped and tortured those kids for their fucking experiments, pumped them so full of chemicals and toxins until their bodies just gave up and dumped them onto the side of the road.” He was angry, they all were. Bucky’s chest ached with it, the whirring in his left arm audible as he clenched his fist.  
“I guess that’s why they’re all dead.” Black Widow said, her brows drawing together as she thought, connecting the dots in her head.

“The serum’s still a field test. Bruce, you said it’s mutated, right?” He just nodded, scratching his chin with his thumb- and forefinger.  
“Well, maybe they’re trying to enhance it, but haven’t succeeded yet.”  
“They’re trying to enhance _them_.” Steve added and Sam hummed in approval.  
“But… if it’s just a field test, then why don’t they take different people for it?” Wanda chimed in, leaving everyone speechless for a second.  
“ _Why_ do they make and effort and go to all those different countries to assassinate civilians that… have a future? Families? Are known inside their communities?” She shook her head in confusion “It doesn’t make sense.”  
“No… it _doesn’t_ …” Bruce agreed and began pacing around the table as well, lost in his thoughts.  
“I guess that’s the task Fury has blessed us with to find out…” Tony sighed and ran a hand through his wild hair. 

“They need to have more of a connection than just their death. Something like a mental, philosophical, maybe even historical thing since they’re not related genetically. And, don’t get me wrong, this _is_ the real question here, but Fury has already given me all the data he has on Hydra’s security network and I’ve set Friday on breaking their code to get to their plan as quickly as possible. The last two people I’ve shown you have already turned up dead within the last month and we can’t have Hydra continuing to murder citizens until their serum will eventually work.”

“…What will happen once it works?” Natasha asked and the answer shot out of Bucky quicker than he could even comprehend.

“You don’t want to know.”


	3. The Difference Between Good And Everything Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky tries to socialize a little. He ends up talking to Wanda and realizes that he might not be the only one to have escaped the 'Fist Of Hydra'.

“Buck?” He heard a soft knock coming from the other side of his room door.  
“Come in.” He responded, sitting up in his bed and tossing aside the IPad he was starting to get frustrated with anyway.  
Steve stepped inside, remaining there with the handle of the door in his hand.  
Bucky smiled a little when he thought back to the times when his friend was so small he would go unnoticed anywhere and now he’s that animal filling almost the entire doorframe.  
He smiled back at him uncertainly. 

“I was just asking if you’re doing okay? All things considered?” 

Let’s see. Besides the flash-backs, the PTSD, sleep deprivation and paranoia?

“’M fine, Steve.” Bucky mumbled and rested his arms on his crossed legs.  
“Okay, well, because I want you to let me know if this is going to fast in any way, if you maybe need some space for now, or…?”  
Bucky sighed and interrupted him as he was clearly struggling for words.  
“I’ve had space from people for enough time I think. I’m here with you you now and I can’t thank you enough for that. They… can be a lot. It’s true. But I need the distraction. I can’t… stay in here alone with my thoughts, Steve. I’ll go crazy.” He gave him a sad smile; he didn’t know how else to put it.

“I need something to occupy my mind with, even if it’s diving head-on into the next Hydra case. I just, I don’t want this to happen to anyone again. Ever.”

He was sure he hadn’t talked that much in his 47 days of being here.  
But Steve looked satisfied with what he had offered him.  
He nodded his head, looking at him. He knew he needed his space, but from things like parties or morning jogs with strangers. Not missions. 

After all those years he didn’t think he could ever get used to not seeking that sort of occupation. And he got that.

“All right.” He answered after a short while “We’ll have dinner soon. You know you don’t have to, but I think it’ll be good for you if you come downstairs. I think the others will appreciate it.” He looked hopeful.  
And once again he looked like that small boy from Brooklyn again and it made his heart ache with what they’ve lost. 

Maybe this kind of distraction every once in a while couldn’t hurt after all.

***

“Anyone else wants some more bread?” Sam asked as he licked his finger.  
“You know, what is it with you and your bread, Falcon?” Tony asked as Wanda snickered next to him.  
“Man, I made that shit and y’all gonna eat it now if you want to or not.” Sam added excitedly as he passed the plate around.  
“You just bought the dough and then baked it. That’s literally what happened.” Natasha corrected him, but he only shook his head and snapped his finger as he spoke.  
“No one appreciating my work around here. Next time you want bread with your soup you make it your damn self.”  
Everyone chuckled at that, even Bucky’s lip curled into a smirk.

“Well, thanks to Wanda here we actually have a soup to eat your _delicious_ bread with, so, cheers to that.” Tony added once more and raised his glass.  
“Cheers!” Everyone else chimed in and chinked their glasses.  
“Thank you, Tony. I love cooking something that reminds me of home and also it wasn’t a lot of effort, so I guess everyone wins, right?” She said and moved a strand of red hair behind her ear.  
“Atta, girl.” Tony smiled and drank from his white wine.  
“Mhh!” Bruce suddenly let out a surprised noise through his full mouth, making everyone’s head turn. He reached for his napkin and wiped his lips before re-addressing the topic from a few hours ago.  
“I called Clint to ask him if he would help us with the case.” He explained and Natasha’s brows shot up in surprise.  
“He said he’s on family vacation right now, but he’ll get back to us as soon as he gets back.”  
“Back from where?” Wanda asked.  
“Somewhere in Italy, apparently.”  
Tony shook his head sarcastically at that “Celebrities. Always hanging out in those fancy places and chickening out when shit gets real.”  
“Well…” Bruce mumbled doubtfully, clearly not getting Stark’s attempt at a joke “It is his first vacation in three years.”  
“I’m not surprised. He told me about it.” Natasha added as she ate another spoonful of soup.  
“Me neither.” Tony said as he smirked at her “Whose cottage do you think he’s staying at?”

“You smug-” Natasha whispered as she grinned back, but Bruce interrupted them.  
“Has anyone gotten of hold of Thor? By any chance?”  
“Oh, come on, you know he’s not my biggest fan. He’s probably swinging his hammer around in Asgard or something, having a _jolly good time_.” Tony said unimpressed as he imitated Thor’s speech and swatted his hand around.

“He would be unchallenged with a task like this, we don’t need to call him down if it’s not truly necessary.” Natasha confirmed Tony’s comment and Bruce nodded absentmindedly.  
“What about you, soldier? You’ve been awfully quiet today.” Tony gave his attention over to Steve who was sitting on the other end of the table. He had stopped eating, listening quietly to their conversations.  
He shrugged.

“I guess I don’t have any news, sorry to disappoint you.” He said with a smile and Natasha nudged his side playfully.  
“C’mon, Steve. Haven’t you been seeing that girl from the coffee shop?” She said lowly, making Bucky’s head whirl to look at him. He hadn’t entirely paid attention to their talk rather than to the food sitting in front of him, but that was a topic he could get his share of. 

A smile began to form his lips, a real one. He heard a wolf whistle coming from Sam and Wanda giggled.  
“We’re not seeing each other. I only get a coffee after my morning jog and she happens to be the one working the register at that time.” He smiled bashfully.  
“Yes, and she just _happened_ to write her number on your cup and you just _happened_ to not throw it away, am I right?” She had a grin reaching up to both sides of her ears.  
“You little rascal.” Tony faked a shock as he held a hand to his chest.  
A low chuckle left Bucky’s throat as he noticed his friend beginning to blush, his cheeks and ears starting to turn red.

“Shut up.”  
“Language.” Tony corrected him as he stood up, reaching for everyone’s empty plates. Bucky copied him and reached for the rest when Tony spoke up “Sit down, soldier. Those _two_ did the cooking” He gestured to both Wanda and Sam who put his oar in “Man, fuck you.” Tony seemed unimpressed, but blew him a kiss “So I’ll get the rest cleaned up, don’t worry about him.”  
“I can help.” Bucky said and Tony looked him over for a second “Okay. Get in here, cowboy.”  
He gave him his plates and Bucky moved over into the kitchen to place the dishes into the sink with a rattle, feeling Steve’s eyes boring into his back as he walked off.

He was still so… concerned. Even though Bucky felt like he gave his best at dinner. Sure, he didn’t say a word, but it’s still considered socializing, _right_?  
He sighed deeply and grabbed the sponge and dish soap.

“You know there is a dishwasher, right?” A female voice startled him. He looked over his shoulder to see the Scarlet Witch standing there with three plates in her hands. He turned back to the dishes.  
“It’s fine. I don’t have anything else to do.” He spoke softly and rinsed the cutlery.  
There was a short pause before she raised her voice once more.  
“Me neither. You mind if I help you?” He didn’t answer right away “You know I got this…” She stepped closer to him and he looked to his left to see her move her delicate fingers, a red glow starting to emerge between them. He looked back at her face to see a sideway-grin plastered on it.  
“We can get this done really quick.” 

“Sure.” He finally answered, even though he was still not 100% sure what she meant by that. He knew she was one of the enhanced, but that’s really all he knew. Steve didn’t talk much about her. And he didn’t talk a lot to Steve. Especially about the others. Who he tried to kill…

A few minutes passed with him cleaning and rinsing and her drying the dishes.  
The living space had gotten quieter, only the Television talking in the background. 

He was on his last plates when he noticed something moving from the corner of his eye, his left hand squeezing a fork in surprise as he watched the red glow he had seen on her earlier envelop the dry plates, levitating them up into the air and above her head. Opening the cupboard with her right hand she seemed to control the dishes with her left as that hand was glowing red as well. He watched with his mouth hanging open as they floated, one by one, into the cabinet until they were neatly stacked up and she closed it again as if it never happened.

She looked back at him as she wiped her hands on her jeans and chuckled sheepishly.  
“You, uhm… you’re crushing the…” He looked down at the fork in his hand and he opened his palm, exposing the finger-shaped metal. He grunted and held it in his right hand, using his metal fingers to press down on the bending, straightening it out as good as possible.  
“I’m sorry, I thought you knew.” Wanda mumbled, but Bucky interrupted her.  
“’S my fault, I just wasn’t expecting it.”  
“Tony won’t make a big deal out of it, I think he can spare one fork, don’t you think?” She said playfully and he smiled.  
“Maybe. I truly think he hates me.” He answered her, his voice becoming quiet, unsure.

Wanda eyed him for a second before she responded.  
“Why would you think that?” Bucky huffed, sad smile still on his lips.  
“Because I tried to kill him? And now I’m eating his food, living in the same place as him… I could still be a threat, you know. He isn’t wrong about that. Everything Hydra put in here” He tapped one finger against his temple “It’s still all there.” She continued staring at him, not saying a word, just… processing.

“Maybe they should lock me up somewhere.” He mumbled.  
“They? Who they? S.H.I.E.L.D? Fuck, no.” He looked back at her, surprised at her tone and choice of words.  
“Everyone’s glad you’re no longer a part of them, S.H.I.E.L.D can be grateful that you’re working for them now. And so what if you’ve tried to kill him? I’ve tried to kill him, too. Natasha as well when she was still a Hydra assassin. And look at her now. Look at me.” She raised her eyebrows at him as she crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen counter.  
“It’s not about who you were. It’s about you you’re trying to be, who you want to become.”  
She grabbed the towel next to her and threw it at him and he caught it, wiping his hands in slow-motion as he still watched her intensely.

“They did some shit to my brain, too. Also Tony basically killed my family, but here I am. Because I don’t want to hold onto that hate and anger anymore.” She smiled softly.  
“I don’t want that weight on me. I want to do good. Don’t you want to do good in this world?” She asked him and he placed the towel beside him.

“I want to, but I’m not sure if I can anymore...” He shook his head.  
“But you know the difference, right? That’s the start. Know the difference between good and bad and try to fight for good as long as you can.” She gave him a nod and walked back into the living room.  
“It’s never too late to do good, _soldat_.” She called out as she abandoned him in the kitchen. And _god_ , did he hope she was right about that.


	4. Restless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve talk about old times and Sam is being supportive of Bucky. He needs him to know that he's not alone.

The next morning after another restless night he once again stumbled across Steve as he, yet again, brewed himself another coffee, pouring out one for him as well the moment Bucky’s door opened.

He scuffed over the stone tiles, dragging himself downstairs and onto the barstool across from Steve. They didn’t say a word. Never talked much to begin with, but somehow they always just knew enough without words.  
Bucky watched Steve as he ran a hand through his unkempt hair, tousled from tossing around all night. His friend looked happy. And he had an idea where this could be coming from.

“You know” Bucky started suggestively, his voice still heavy with sleep “You’re drinking a coffee every morning, yet you go to the coffee shop immediately after.”  
Steve’s grin only widened  
“It’s embarrassing enough that I had to know it from the Black Widow.” He added and made his friend roll his eyes.

“Natasha’s gossipy that way.” He sighed deeply “I guess I shouldn’t have brought that cup up with me. I swear, that woman sees everything.” He chuckled, but still his mood was still cheerful. Made Bucky smile, too. Even at quarter past six in the goddamn morning.

“I’m happy for you.” Bucky said and smiled back at him.  
“Thank you, Buck.” He let out a huff and shook his head, lost in thoughts.  
“You know” He began “This could be like old times. You teaching me how to talk to girls, telling me how to not scare them off.”  
Bucky let out a laugh as he thought back at it “But you would anyway.” He continued chuckling “You were always too damn nervous.”  
“I know! But what could I have done, huh? You were practically glued to my side and all the girls preferred sergeant Barnes.” Bucky gaped back at him, but thought about his words.

“Well” he sighed after a minute and shrugged “But look at you now, man. Captain _America_. The girls of New York must be throwing themselves at you, now that they have their Brooklyn boy back.” 

Steve chuckled “I don’t know about that. I still feel the same.”  
“You are, Steve.” He paused, eyeing his best friend that had transformed into this god-like version. But he was still just the modest guy from next door.

“You are.” Bucky sighed deeply and took a sip steaming coffee.  
Steve looked him over.  
Dark circles under his eyes, stubble covering his cheeks and he could swear that his cheekbones stood out more prominently than a week before. Bucky wasn’t doing fine. They both knew it. He was glad to have signed him up for the next assignment. Even though it’s Hydra and even though he’s concerned about him. He’s just happy to have him back. Even though he’s the one who’s not who he used to be anymore. Steve’s trying not to hold onto the old Bucky, he knows he can never be the same again. But it’s moments like this where his best friend shimmers through layers of suppression, anger and guilt. And Steve is just happy for the times where he gets to feel like his old self again.

“Her name is Harper.” Steve tries to break the silence.  
“Oh? Harper, that’s nice.” He cleared his throat “She sounds like a nice girl.” Steve nodded.  
“A nice girl I _will_ call if you don’t do it soon.” He added jokingly, but Steve got the message.  
“You are a fool, old man.” He said as Steve got up and placed his mug in the kitchen sink. He raised his brow as he grinned back at him “You know; you are a year older than me if I remember correctly.”

Bucky scoffed “We’re both over ninety, I think we’re even.”  
“Whatever you say, old man.”  
“Hey!” Bucky said before Steve got into the elevator “Call her, you idiot!”  
“Yeah, yeah…” Steve answered with a smirk before the doors closed on him.

Bucky continued to smile to himself even after Steve had left the tower. He was glad he was still enough of a part of his life to be able to see those episodes. Ladies, girlfriends and whatnot. Even though he didn’t need to babysit him through all of it. He was pretty happy about that part.

He thought back to his adventurous years. A faint blush appeared on his cheeks. God, no.  
He had been _so_ young and naïve and frankly, a bully. He liked to think he wasn’t that anymore. But he knew that if he would ever like to come close to being that again, it’d take a lot of time and probably practice. Just… experiencing real life again to ease into it.  
Being normal or whatever it was that he was seeking.

He downed the rest of his black coffee, still holding the warmth of the empty mug in his hand.  
And a bit of detective work and probable well-meant killing should do the trick just fine.

***

Bucky was taking a long-needed shower when the still unfamiliar sound of the speaking system… or whatever it actually was, sounded. 

“Sergeant Barnes?” Friday called and Bucky nearly lost his balance as rapidly as he turned around. It took him a second to understand the voice’s origin, but once he finally realized he let out a sigh of relief, running a hand through his dripping hair and pushing it back behind his ears. It was starting to get out of control, for sure.

“Yeah?” He rasped, shock still cloaking his throat.  
“Mr. Stark is requesting a meeting in the conference room. He has remarked that it is urgent and your presence there is mandatory.” Bucky let out a sound of frustration as he placed his head against the cooling tiles.

“When can he expect your arrival?” The female voice continued asking and Bucky groaned.  
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He answered and waited for her reply.  
“Excellent. I will tell him right away.”  
“Yeah…” He mumbled and wiped the shampoo off his face. He wasn’t quite sure if he could ever get used to that.

***

Minutes later he was throwing on some clothes, boxers, pants, socks… He was holding his shirt in his hands, the soft, red material hugging his skin, but he didn’t put it on. Not _yet._

He was standing in his room, his big, empty room and staring back at him was his reflection in the mirror built into the closet. He caught himself, really. He saw nothing but a movement before this lonely figure appeared in front of him. A tired, broken version of a man and his hands that held the soft shirt lowered to get a better look at him. 

He turned carefully, like he was facing a wild predator he didn’t want to upset by making some sudden movements it would not approve of.  
But it looked so scared for being the predator and it was. He had scars to prove it.

He finally turned to his left to reveal the shiny scar tissue winding around the shinier arm attached to it. He carefully touched it with his fingertips, felt the uneven skin, the bumps and scratches that had manifested themselves there a long time ago. Disgust rose up inside his stomach at the sight. His jaw clenched, the lighting showing off the shadows of his cheekbones prominently. He shook his head back at himself and put the shirt on, covering most of what Hydra had given him. 

He thought of Wanda’s words; _It’s never too late to do good_. And even though he wanted to believe that too, it was really fucking hard to keep that in mind with something that bad being a part of him and reminding him every day of what he really was.  
He ran his fingers through his damp hair and sighed before heading off to the conference room.

“Hey, there.” A voice startled him as he closed his door behind him. Turning around, he spotted the Falcon, Sam Wilson, heading into the same direction of cause.  
He gave an affirmative nod in his direction and waited for him until he had reached his door. Politeness. 

“Man, I cannot wait to finally get on with this case. I feel like I’ve been sitting on my ass for weeks now, you know what I mean?” He laughed as they walked towards the elevator together. Bucky buried his hands in his pockets.  
“I know.” 

He felt Sam’s eyes on him “Yeah, right… Hey, uhm, how’s it going anyway? I know we don’t really talk a lot, but y’know… it’s still good to know you got a friend in here.”  
At that Bucky’s head turned to look at him “I guess. I’m… okay I think. Doing better at least. I think it just takes time.”

“Yeah, I get it. I mean, you’re still having nightmares, right?” Sam continued and a light bulb went off in Bucky’s head. They still heard the screaming at night.  
“ _God_ , I-I’m sorry…”  
“Hey, no worries man. Like you said, some things just take time.”

_-Bing-_

They both stepped in and even though Sam seemed to be at ease, Bucky wasn’t. He knew he shouldn’t give a damn about what they thought of him and generally he didn’t. Avoiding them did a marvelous job at helping there. But they knew about his issues and were reminded of them for at least five nights a week. He didn’t want to feel the way he did, but what was settling deep inside his stomach, curling inside and nestling into its home was embarrassment. He knew those things were hard to hide and avoid when you’re living together with a bunch of people, especially with the Avengers…

“If you ever need to talk” He felt a hand of his shoulder before the elevator door opened “You can come to me anytime, man.” He looked at Bucky with a smile, even though the man didn’t. Just had confusion and nervousness written all over his face. He patted his shoulder a few more times before they finally stepped outside, heading into the conference room where the rest of the group was already waiting for them.


	5. EXmode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've finally cracked Hydra's database, meaning that they have a name. The next one of Hydra's victims and they need to find her before they do.  
> Also they have more of an idea of what enhancement-program they're dealing with...Something familiar, perhaps?

“It didn’t occur to me until I tried matching the people’s blood samples up with the rest in S.H.I.E.L.D’s database.” Bruce recited as he called up the different hemograms. Bucky wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking at, numbers and percentages listed in tabular form that didn’t make a whole lot of sense to him.

Bruce rambled on about the numbers and percentages and Bucky noticed that he was not the only one drifting off until the next swipe with his hand showed a microscopic animation of real blood cells. He remembered that much from school.  
Micrography had been quite a new technology, allowing to show real, yet blurry and black and white examples over a projector. But that was nothing compared to this. 

Those cells were red and pink with a purplish center and it seemed as if they were vibrating as they coursed slowly into one direction like a current. The dark purple was starting to spread out into its entirety, the yellowish green edges of the cell beginning to extend small antenna-like arms that wiggled their way outside the cell. Bucky had never, in any way, been good at biology or science, but he didn’t need to to determine it strange. Nothing but normal.

“But I had kept myself so busy with the mutation in your blood and what the super serum did to you” He continued, looking at both Steve and Bucky “That I didn’t think about the rest of Hydra’s altering experiments.” His head turned towards Wanda. She had been staring at the screen for quite some time now.

“It’s… mine, isn’t it? My blood?” She asked cautiously and Bruce nodded, pushing back the glasses onto his nose and continued explaining with a soft tone to his voice.

“Strucker’s experiments were revolutionary after Zola’s.” Bucky looked up at the familiar name, a shiver running down his spine.  
“It seems as if Hydra has gotten more information on how to put both of their lives’ work together.”

“To create the ultimate weapon. Indestructible _and_ enhanced.” Vision stated as he had entered the room by floating through the glass. Another thing Bucky wouldn’t be able to get used to.  
It was only the third time he had seen him. He had disappeared to go on his own mission weeks before. Something about S.H.I.E.L.D he assumed, but it didn’t really matter anyway.

“Vis!” Wanda squealed excitedly as she saw him floating towards her and wrapped her arms around him. The others smiled and greeted him back.  
“Vision is right. I’m not just talking about your super strength or physical resilience” He looked back at Bucky and Steve “Or your enhanced abilities, Wanda. This could be a whole new thing.” He shook his head in disbelief as he showed the next picture. 

A sea of dark purple spots trembling across the screen. The room got quiet as everyone watched the oval cells with jet-black cores quivering with, what everyone assumed; pure fucking _energy_.

“What the hell is this?” Sam asked, clearly shocked.  
“That’s the sample of Nina Alice, one of the victims.” Bruce added before Sam interrupted him “And let me guess; the others look exactly like hers?” Bruce nodded.  
“More or less, yes. You can see a slight change in the bloodstream, but my guess is that Hydra is still playing with the formula…”  
“But” Natasha inquired “They were all dead when they found them, right?” Her voice was laced with something Bucky had never heard from her. Possible fear of what they were facing.  
“Yes, unfortunately-” Bruce began but she continued.  
“Then _how_ … are the cells still moving?”

Goosebumps crawled over Bucky’s skin at the realization and the others looked just as horrified as him as they faced each other. Bruce sighed deeply.

“All of them were found within 24 hours after their initial time of death. The autopsy showed that even though their hearts had stopped beating, they were not quite… dead… in a literal sense.”  
“What are you talking about?” Wanda asked, as confused as the rest of the group.  
“Their brains are still active. _Something_ inside them was still keeping them alive for a couple more hours.”  
“The new serum?” Natasha asked.  
“Probably.” Tony responded “Their brains’ activity essentially shut down after an average of 16 hours after their death.”  
“Actually, post-mortal brain activity is not uncommon, but the average time span for that is maybe up to six minutes.”  
“Not sixteen hours…” Steve said calmly as he looked down, either thinking or processing.  
“How the fuck are you so calm? Man, we got a new Hydra weapon that could take us all down, how are you not freaking out right now?” Sam clearly wasn’t.  
Rightly. 

Bucky’s own heart had begun to thump inside his chest at a maddening pace. He didn’t want to imagine what those people must’ve gone through in comparison to him. His story was one to ignite nightmares by its own. He had gone a long way to become what he was, but it was the aftermath that still traumatized him. They had died getting there.

“I’m not.” Steve replied “But we might be able to stop them before anything else happens to any more civilians.” He said and gestured to Tony who was still pacing around restlessly.  
“…Tony? Do know something we don’t?” Natasha asked as he picked up his tablet.  
“Maybe.” He shrugged and projected the picture on the screen above the table with a tap of his fingers.

“S.H.I.E.L.D has found more than one of Hydra’s programmer. They… _interrogated_ them-” He raised his brows and Steve scoffed “What do you want from me, Cap? Because I want this to end.” Steve crossed his arms in front of him but let Tony continue.

“-Anyway, they got enough information from them to add to the hacking of the system they had already achieved to find out the plan on the new serum.”  
The information on the operation appeared with a title. 

“The Exome-Modification and Enhancement Program.” Tony said “Also called EXmode.” He remarked, letting everyone observe the information in front of them.  
“We have the names of the victims right here- “  
“Along with their process-evaluation during their treatments.” Bruce finished his sentence “They never wrote down the actual formula, but what it did to the people as they used it on them.”  
“Something like a fucked-up diary…” Sam muttered angrily. Bruce began to look more and more depressed during the course of explaining the current situation.

“They have all the names here in order. But not only the ones that were found… but also the ones they still… _want_ to experiment on.”  
“There, after Yorick Lambert.” Natasha pointed out the name on the sheet.  
“Has anyone after him been reported missing yet?”  
“Not yet, no.”

_Annabelle Feldner_. Bucky read inside his head. She was the next one on the list, right underneath Yorick. There was nothing else, no date, no information.

“We need to find her, Tony.” It just slipped out, his thoughts running freely and he felt the need to express them.  
“We can’t let them get to her.” All eyes were on him. Although he didn’t speak much, his words had value once they were out. And of cause he was right, they all knew it.

“S.H.I.E.L.D is already on it.” He assured him, but it didn’t quite answer his question.  
“Are they bringing her to a safe location?” Bucky asked, but Tony only fidgeted on the spot, looking over at Bruce who was already eyeing him.

“Not exactly…”  
Bucky’s scalp began to prickle, the fiery sensation spreading over his skin. Nausea settled inside his stomach the second he thought about other people living through the same hell as he did.  
This was no longer a simple mission. This was personal.

“What do you mean…?” His voice was low and dark.  
“Well, first off; There are a few Annabelle Feldners on the face of the earth. Trying to find out which one Hydra is interested in is a bit of a predicament since we still don’t know _what_ connects all of them.” He tried to explain. Bucky’s shoulders tensed up.

“Second, I have my doubts S.H.I.E.L.D will tell us once they’ve figured that one out, because, well…” He sighed and took off his yellow sunglasses “They still don’t have the serum. My guess is that once they know which Annabelle they’re after, they will wait for Hydra to show up so they can see where they’re taking her.”  
All of them listened carefully as he explained his theory.

“Of cause this is all just assumption, but I’ve known those guys for a couple of years. They are trying their best to find her, but also they won’t let an opportunity like this slip through their fingers. Thinking about the greater good- “ 

“No way.” Bucky interrupted as he stood up, almost knocking over his chair. He was angry. Tired of this, but mostly angry. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t let one more person be the victim of the “greater good” because the “greater good” had him killing pointlessly for decades for it. Who were they to decide if they could spare that life? They would take Hydra down to help themselves to their knowledge to use it for _whatever_ , but not for the greater good.  
“They can’t do that.”

“I’m afraid that’s not up to you anymore.” Tony said and sunk back into his chair with a huff “We’ve come this far but I wouldn’t count on S.H.I.E.L.D taking us any further than that. Maybe they’ll call us if they want their base destroyed or their agents taken out. But I doubt they’ll let us know about the formula once they have it. They want to avoid this- “He pointed at Bucky, Steve and Wanda “-happening again. Not unless they know how to control it.”  
“So what? You’ll let them play god?” Bucky asked incredulously.  
“Buck…” Steve started reaching for his friend’s arm but he pulled it back.  
“Bucky is right.” Wanda agreed and stood up as well “You’ll never know what it’s like to be experimented on like that. They cut you open, the pump you full of stuff that makes your veins burn and make you wish you were dead.” Tony lowered his head at her words and even though she had hit a blade in his heart with the accuracy of her words, Bucky was proud of her speaking up as well.

“They don’t have a voice, Tony. But they don’t deserve it. _No one_ does and that should be out first priority instead of being sad because we cannot change how it is.”  
“She’s right, you know.” Sam muttered.  
“I know!” Tony groaned “Of cause I know that.”  
“We’re Avengers.” Steve spoke “We need to stand up for the little guys. Especially since no one else will.”

Bucky chuckled. Captain America in its full glory. He was expecting nothing less.  
“Then it’s settled.” Vision spoke with a faint smile on his lips.  
“Oh, so what now exactly? I’m supposed to break into S.H.I.E.L.D’s security network?” Tony huffed sarcastically.  
“Haven’t you already...?” Bruce asked him, but Tony immediately tried to shush him.  
“Shhht! All right, okay.” He threw his hands into the air dramatically “God, I feel stupid for saying this, but _let’s spy on S.H.I.E.L.D_.”  
“We can do it. As a team.” Steve said and Tony rolled his eyes.  
“Whatever, Miss American beauty pageant. I’ll do most of the work anyway so lay back until I’ve found a name.”  
Everyone laughed at that.


	6. Destiny's Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers getting ready for their mission; saving the girl.  
> 

One week later and Bucky found himself with a bag strapped around his back, wearing a black vest and trousers.  
It didn’t look as much as a uniform as it actually was and for that he was actually grateful. 

Tucking his hair behind his ears he strutted along in the direction of the roof where a jet was already waiting for them. Once up there, he walked inside it and laid his bag down onto the seat installed at the side and went over the steps in his head. It was the usual procedure.  
They had a time and place now that Tony had managed to get from S.H.I.E.L.D’s software. The difference was that it was his first mission in a long time that he was actually aware of consciously. He didn’t want to experience any flashbacks while on the mission and he actually was pretty confident about not having to worry too much about that, but also there wasn’t another choice for him.  
He unfortunately knew Hydra best.  
Their way of thinking, the compound, their network, the whole scheme. But he also wanted to go. He needed to.  
He had to end this to get at least some satisfaction out of it. Those bastards could no longer continue to do this and he was firmly convinced that he needed to play a part in their undoing. He had helped get them up, now he just had to take them down, too.  
There was no other way for him to find a good night’s sleep otherwise.

“You all right?” A familiar voice sounded behind him and he turned around to face Steve.  
“I think I actually am.” Bucky said and smiled.  
“That’s good to hear, Buck. But just so you know, there’s still time to back out if- “  
“No, Steve. I- I _need_ to do this, okay?” He looked at his friend with pleading eyes and sympathy immediately washed over his features.  
“Okay. I’m glad to have you here, Buck.”  
“Me too.”

***

They had been in the air for some time now.  
Stark was flying the jet, arguing over his headset with (assumedly) Pepper while all the others were scattered over the not-that-small plane.  
It was enough space for everyone to be walking around, Bruce and Natasha talking in the corner while Steve was trying to work the IPhone Tony had given him to call Harper. He had finally found enough courage to call her and now they were talking constantly. Mostly because he didn’t know how to work the keyboard.  
Sam was desperately trying to help him, though as he explained the basics to Steve who was listening intensely, but Bucky knew his enough to see that he wasn’t getting one thing of what Sam was talking about.

Since Wanda’s right of entry into the United States was still an issue, the team had decided her stay at the Stark tower to be the best. Vision was accompanying her at least and after that she quit grumbling over it. Bucky knew how much it had meant to her, but he knew she understood that the people’s lives were a priority.

“No, you need to press the Home Button if you want to get back to the Home Screen, dude!” He slapped a palm against his forehead “What the hell are you even doing!”  
“It’s not my fault there are so many buttons on this thing!” Steve exclaimed and it amused Bucky to see him lose his temper for once.  
“Four! There are literally just for buttons on this thing, see- “He snatched the phone right out of his hand.  
“Don’t delete it!” Steve whined. Sam had already lost his temper.  
“What am I supposed to be deleting? There’s nothing to delete, Steve!”  
Bucky snickered and caught a furious glare from both of them.

“You can come here, too. I bet you don’t know how this shit works as well!” He snapped and Bucky held up his hands in defense “I think I’ll pass…” He tried to calm him down a little.  
“Yeah you better…” Sam muttered back angrily and focused back on explaining the mysteries of WhatsApp to clueless Captain America.

Bucky leant his head against the plane’s plating. It was shaking, but keeping him awake and focused. The jet was fast, but it still took around four to five hours until they’d arrive in Germany. And he wanted to be awake and focused for that.  
He thought about Annabelle and what she could be doing right now. After all he poor girl had no clue what destiny had planned for her.

***

“I never said I wanted to go on a date with him.” She muttered through a mouthful of carrots.  
“But you never said you didn’t like hiiiiim.” She heard a sing-sang coming from the other end of the line. Annabelle scoffed and rolled her eyes, hoping it would reach the girl on the other line.  
“You have some nerves, girl.” She answered annoyed. Not even here three months and she acted like she owned the goddamn place.  
“How about you concentrate on learning German, you know, _the thing you came here for_ , instead of loitering around the campus all day, trying to get some piece of meat.”  
It was bluntly said, but hey.  
“Nuh-uh!” She heard a protest coming from Lizzie.  
“I’m trying to get _you_ a piece of meat. Come on, Anna! You don’t need to speak German, just talk with your body.” She said suggestively.  
“Ew.” Annabelle replied unimpressed as she leant back in her chair and flipped through her notebook. _When was the fucking dental appointment again?_  
“Anna?” She heard a faint call of her name that pulled her out of her thoughts.  
“Hm?”  
“When was the last time you got some?”  
“ _Oh_. My god.”  
“That long, huh?”  
She took a breath, ready to protest but unfortunately she had no good reply.  
“Shut up.”  
“Well, there you go.”  
“You know, you’re being a fucking cliché right now, do you?” She placed the notebook back onto the desk, next to her feet that were propped up on it.  
“What? Because I don’t want to be known as the new, easy girl and instead want to have someone to get some meat with?”  
“Ew! What the fuck, Lizzie! Don’t say it like that!” She protested, but laughed. That girl was hilarious if she wanted to be.  
“Fuckbuddies, come on!”  
“Straight out of _Mean Girls_ I swear to Christ.” She muttered under her breath.  
“The party is on Friday and you’ll be there, understood?”  
“You really love being able to buy alcohol under 21, am I right?”  
“I fucking love it. Be there, Anna.”  
“Good night, Lizzie.” She sing-sang right back at her.  
“Friday’s the day of booty- “

Click.

A piece of work that girl. Hilarious, but exhausting.  
Also, she really needed to go to bed. Tomorrow was a big day, a big presentation waiting for her.  
Who knew, maybe tomorrow would be a good day after all.


	7. Seventy-Seven Benevolent Elephants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to see the girl. But unfortunately only for a short while...

“All right, everyone.” Tony announced, starting to land the jet “Remember, we can’t stay here for long. I have some friends here that will let me use their property for tonight, so we get to her place, take out the Hydra agents there and save the girl. Sounds like a plan? Let’s go then.” 

“So your friends will mess with S.H.I.E.L.D for you? You really have those kind of friends?” Sam asked unbelieving

“It’s called having money. Okay? Now let’s get going, Hydra won’t wait up for us.”  
He snapped back, raising his eyebrows at him and Sam let out a chuckle.

The door of the jet opened in the back, letting fresh air pour into the plane and they all stepped outside, taking a deep breath.  
They had landed somewhere inside an unused field. Bushes and flowers growing everywhere above knee-length.

The air was one Bucky hadn’t smelled in a long time. It was heavy with pollen and the scent of blossoming nature. He allowed himself to close his eyes for a second to take it all in and focus solely on his other senses since it was night and hard to see far anyway.

The crickets and cicadas chirped their own little lullabies, the only other sound being the sound of the crew’s footsteps on the soft ground.

“Earth to Barnes?” Natasha asked and he opened his eyes again, turning to face her.  
“Yeah?” He asked softly.  
“You okay there?” She seemed concerned, her eyebrow cocked as she looked him over.  
“Never better.” He replied and gave her a soft smile in return. It seemed to ease her up as well. 

He didn’t for sure know what she thought of him, but he could swear that at times she seemed terrified of him. Or of what he used to be anyway…

“It’s a small-town. There’s not much there besides a church, a school and a university. There are lots of college kids in that town though, so I wouldn’t rely on being unseen just because it’s eleven on a Tuesday night.” Bruce said from within the jet, calling up the information on the target’s location on the screen he held in his hands.

“Okay, we’ll try to remember that. Also, I’ll just ask Hydra very friendly to leave this place as quietly as possible and not put up a fight that will draw any attention, okay? They’ll probably be reasonable about it, what do you think?” Tony remarked sarcastically.

“If they haven’t already heard the freaking _jet_ landing in their _backyard_.” Sam added and shook his head.  
“Hey!” Steve yelled and took a step towards them “We will not draw any unnecessary attention to ourselves. If we want to, this can be a swift mission. Remember, we have the advantage. We know where Hydra’s _and_ S.H.I.E.L.D’s agents are and we can get rid of both and save Annabelle without them noticing.”

“Well, they’ll notice eventually…” Natasha said doubtfully.  
“But not before we’re long gone. We got here before them. We can end this now. This mission is for her. We can’t get distracted by our own doubt.” He finished and stared at the two men who were speechless for a second, a rare occasion indeed.

“Fine” Tony finally spoke up “But I’m not _walking_ there in my suit.” He said before his helmet snapped over his head, cutting him off before he flew ahead.  
“Show off.” Sam mumbled before he put on his goggles and his wings extended, flying off as well.

“Well. I’m glad _that’s_ over.” Natasha said and rolled her eyes, starting to head into the open field. Steve and Bucky looked at each other, then back at Bruce who was still standing at the rear of the plane.

“Oh, no. I-I’m only here for the medical assistance and the uhm, technology and such… There’s no code green for me tonight.” He chuckled nervously and Steve smiled back at him.

“See you later, Doctor Banner.” He waved back before shutting the end close, the light fading with with him until they were standing in complete darkness.  
“Are you guys coming?” Natasha shouted from the edge of the field, tall trees surrounding the place. They didn’t hesitate another second.

***

It was maybe a 15-minute walk until the edge of the town. By that time, they had already found multiple poorly-lit field paths that lead to the town, although they still stuck to the darkened fields. There they were drowned in darkness so much, only an infrared camera could find them now. And since every other group was focused on their own individual target, they wouldn’t come looking for them in the fields.

They didn’t talk, but that was fine for Bucky. He enjoyed walking through the pitch-dark nature with the stars being the only source of light.

Natasha had the location blinking up on the screen in her hand. It was a small house on the edge of the town. They weren’t too far away as it seemed. Bucky had glanced over her shoulder every once in a while.

He was too lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice her slowing down to a halt in front of him, prompting him to walk into her.

“Shit, sorry.” He mumbled, but she didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at the screen with her brows drawn together and her eyes wide with either confusion or realization. Maybe even both.

“Natasha?” Steve whispered behind her and came around to look at her face. Bucky shrugged back at him.

“That’s… something is wrong. This isn’t right.” She muttered to herself and looked up, staring into the distance, the small house already standing there. Lights on inside with a shadow darting from one side of a window to another. She was still there. Then _why did Natasha stop?_

“Tony and Sam… I have them on my radar as well. They have a chip in their suits…” She pointed at the black screen.  
There was one big dot, the target. With three little dots close together. Them. But nothing else.

“I don’t understand-” She whispered until her mouth fell open along with Steve’s and Bucky’s. 

Three other dots had appeared on the screen and they were heading for their direction, approaching quickly.  
Blood shot to Bucky’s cheeks from the sudden shock, watching two, and then four more dots appearing and he couldn’t turn fast enough before a gun was being held to the back of his head. 

Frozen, he had only his eyes wide open as he watched five more men appear from out of the bushes, but it was too dark to see their faces or uniform.  
He could take them out if he wanted to, but Natasha wasn’t wearing a bulletproof suit and Steve’s shield could only help that much.  
He raised his hands as the cold barrel pushed further into his scalp. His breathing faltered, quivering with rage as it rose up inside his chest.

“Captain Rogers. We’ve been expecting you.” A deep voice behind him answered and Steve’s head shot around to stare at the person standing behind Bucky. He tried to read his expression as it turned into confusion and then anger.  
“Agent Stonewell.” He said evenly while gritting his teeth. He knew this man. This wasn’t Hydra. It was S.H.I.E.L.D holding a gun up against their heads.

“Well, I wished I wouldn’t have to do this.” He hissed out a breath and gave the remaining agents a nod.  
“But I guess you know why we’re all here and why we can’t let Hydra slip through our hands. Not again.” The agents behind Natasha and Steve shuffled around, reaching over to put them in handcuffs and Bucky felt his own wrists being enclosed by something much bigger, closing over his fists and forearms.  
They lowered their guns and Bucky immediately tried to pull on his restraints, but it wouldn’t budge. This was Vibranium and he wouldn’t get out of that so quickly. He let out a growl.

“Where are Sam and Tony?” Natasha asked while she was being dragged back into the direction of the tree line.  
“They’re fine, don’t worry about it.” He swatted his hand and gestured for the rest to grab Steve and Bucky as well.

“You’re not the problem. We’ll let you go once we know where they’re taking her and with a warning. If you’re lucky.” He didn’t seem to phased by the whole situation. More like he was breaking apart some toddlers fighting over a toy.

“I mean don’t you think we wouldn’t notice all Avengers leaving New York simultaneously? Right when S.H.I.E.L.D has some serious shit going down that it doesn’t want to be messed with? We’re keeping eyes on you 24/7 for that matter.” He was shaking his head, walking past Bucky and ahead of the group.  
He didn’t see too much in the dark, but the man had short, lighter hair and rough features along with a beard that shaped his face. He was maybe in his late thirties, but he looked so _tired_.  
Probably of everybody’s bullshit.

They walked only a little before they spotted a tent with a station hidden within the bushes and trees. That was also where Sam and Tony were sitting on the ground with their hands behind their backs and a look on their faces that could kill.

“Evening, fellas.” Agent Stonewell said upon their arrival and placed the other three next to the two in the suits.  
They were leaning against a tree, still being able to watch the house in the distance. This was their hideout spot and there were seven of them. More than enough or at least they all hoped so.

There was more than enough spying gear, that was for sure. The screen they had set up in the front allowed everyone to a good look at the house’s windows and the life going on behind them.  
All the agents muttered about, shuffling through the plants impatiently. Everyone was on edge.

“So” Natasha started, giving the two boys sitting on her left a look “How did you two end up here….?”  
They both scoffed at the same time and started arguing about what had happened.  
“Well, if Icarus over here hadn’t tried to crash-land- “  
“What, _me_? You were the one trying to saw off the treetops!”  
“Shhhhht!” Three agents turned and shushed them.  
“Anyway” Tony continued whispering “Apparently S.H.I.E.L.D has some new gadgets I didn’t know of. Some altering certain electromagnetic fields…”  
“Yeah, you fell right from the sky, dumbass.” Sam hissed, yet let out a chuckle at the thought.  
“Well, I wasn’t the one doing somersaults.” Tony spat.  
“Are you ever taking anything seriously, ever?” Natasha wondered, beginning to sound like she was just done with everyone else’s bullshit as well.

“You know it’s about a human life here, Tony.” Steve agreed and sat up straighter against the trunk.  
“I’m very well aware of that, Einstein. But yet here we all are, right?” He snapped right back before his head fell between his shoulders “Fuck!” He hissed.

“Shut up, everyone!” Another agent yelled before returning to his fancy-looking binoculars.  
They had all begun to mutter, strapping their weaponry closer to their bodies. Something was going down and they were blocking the view at the screen.

“It’s them.” One of the agents muttered to Stonewell and he nodded, eyes fixed only on the screen in front of him.  
It was the view of both the kitchen- and bedroom window, facing their side. Bucky assumed they had more of S.H.I.E.L.D’s agents surrounding the premises in all cardinal directions.  
“Two hostile targets in sight, I repeat, two hostile targets approaching the mark from the south-east side.”  
All of them stretched their necks, trying to see the details of the mission that was supposed to be going down.

“Howel, Spier, Barriola and Lillvic. To your positions, now.” Stonewell hissed and three men and a woman emerged from behind the tent, dressed to kill and not to take hostage.  
Belts strapped full of weaponry, guns, knives and whatnot. They all had a dark, bulletproof vest covering their torsos, grenades and tear gas strapped to the front, while even more holsters were slung around their thighs. 

“Just in case.” Stonewell shrugged as he saw the Avengers’ horrified gazes.  
“I thought you were going to save that girl, not let her fall into Hydra’s hands.” Natasha said as she stared him down.  
“We are. And we won’t. Once we have their gear and technology we’ll know where it’s from.” He paused “After they’ve taken her to the location, of cause.” He clicked his tongue. Meanwhile another woman positioned in front of the high-technology binoculars snapped her fingers and the four agents strapped fully in their gear marched on, back into the open field, ready to follow the two Hydra agents. And probably intervening if things got too heated.

“Don’t worry. We got this under control.” The man with the beard said and turned his attention toward the screen again, biting his thumbnail like someone not convinced of his own words, as Bucky thought.  
“Here we go.” The woman said and rose her hand, everyone calming down behind her, watching the screen intensely.

The view of the housing front was still the center of the picture, a silhouette darting from one side to another and Bucky squinted his eyes to get a better look at her.

From what he saw, her hair appeared a long, light brown in the fluorescent light of the kitchen lamp, almost reaching down until the swell of her hips, yet her head was turned away, her hands rummaging around inside the sink as much as he could make out.  
It was when she turned that he truly saw her face.

The camera was focused on her, turned with her wherever she went.  
Her chest was heaving with a sigh that mutely left her lips, her breath slipping out between her pouty lips. She wiped her hands on the pair of sweatpants she had on and her fingers moved to pull a hairband from around her wrist. She ran a hand through her wavy hair and collected the strands there. Raising her arms above her head she gathered the locks in her hand and turned, facing the window and making it seem as if she was staring right into the camera.  
But she didn’t look as if she got caught. Or as if she had caught them for that matter.  
Bucky realized she was staring at her own reflection, even though it gave him the feeling that she was staring right into his soul.  
And with him seeing the entirety of her face, her big, curious eyes and the plumpness of her cheeks, he only then realized how _young_ she actually was.  
He remembered Bruce’s words about this place being a college town, so he assumed she had to be at least nineteen, even though she didn’t quite look her age.  
Although she was living inside a house that could very much belong to her or her parents.

“Spier. Status?” Stonewell’s harsh voice pulled him out of his trance. He continued to watch her twist her hair into a bun sitting on top of her head, before she turned again and opened the fridge to the right.  
A female voice resounded from the other end of the line “Two targets in sight, sir. They’re approaching-” She continued, but a sharp fizzing and hissing of a signal noise interrupted her speech. 

A couple of dead-silent, dreadful seconds until the familiar popping of a silencer sounded. 

Bucky’s blood rushed to his head, his heart giving out for a few pumps as he tugged at the restrains that were clamped around his arm, keeping it firmly in place.  
“What’s happening, man?” Sam asked nervously, shifting on the ground as well.

They were helpless. Something was not running the way it was supposed to and once it got to them, they would be useless. Dying in the dirt.  
“Come on, Stonewell, get us out of those handcuffs, huh?” Natasha said breathlessly and tried her best getting to him, but he screamed at her before she got any further.  
“Shut up! All of you!”  
“Sir, there are more targets approaching from all sides!” The woman next to him warned and let him look through the binoculars as he shoved her aside.

The screen was still projecting freely and Bucky’s eyes wandered over to it as he saw more movement happening, the girl facing the window once again and he watched in horror as an equally dark-clad figure emerged from the shadows of her hallway to wrap an arm around her front, clamping his other hand over her mouth and she flinched, clearly not knowing what was happening.  
Her eyes went wide with shock and horror, but she had not time to kick before the arm around her belly had found its way up to sting her with a needle, injecting her with something that had her collapsing in his grip within seconds.  
“They have the girl, Stonewell!” Tony yelled, but they all ignored him.  
“Spier! Barriola! Can anyone answer me?” 

No reply, only further static crackling.

“Fuckin’ hell!”  
“Sir, they’re gone!” The woman stammered once again.  
“What do you mean, they’re _gone?_ ” Stonewell asked slowly, turning around to her.  
“Their signals are not appearing on the screen; they must’ve planned this somehow…”  
“Of cause they fucking did!” He screamed back at her.

“Let us go, agent Stonewell. We can still get to them if you let us.” Steve said calmly, trying to get his attention. He actually looked back at him. Thinking.  
“No way, S.H.I.E.L.D is already up my ass enough as it is. Didn’t you listen? They’re messing with our systems and they have a hostage! There’s nothing to do here. They know now that we’ll be on their ass!”  
“There’s nothing out here but open fields, agent. Sam and Mr. Stark can fly over the area and look it over. Please.” He added and let him think, but he only shook his head.

“It’s not up to me. And even if it was, I can’t disable the virus that shut down your suits, it’s not my fucking department…”  
Sam’s head fell back against the tree trunk.  
“You really fucked up there, dude.”  
“I’ll have him fired by morning anyway.” Tony added wearily and mirrored Sam’s actions.  
“How are we gonna get her back?” Bucky spoke up, but Tony only shrugged.  
“Wait and see, I assume.”

His heart sunk inside his chest, a vicious force tugging at his insides and a lump building were a scream wanted to escape his throat. Despair washed over him like icy rain.

He could’ve saved that girl from the pain he’s had to endure, but the evil forces were working eagerly against him. Didn’t even give him a chance at making it better.  
And now he had one more name to be added to his death list because that one was on him.


	8. The Things We Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time goes by after the failed mission, but Bucky doesn't want to lose hope. He just can't. And obviously someone has heard his plea, because somehow she appears in an abandoned warehouse upstate. Or what's left of her at least...

**-Five weeks later-**

***

Bucky found himself to be restless even more than before the mission.  
Every night his sleep was short-lived, every piece of food in his mouth making him want to vomit.  
Guilt was eating on every fiber of his being and he couldn’t stop thinking about the girl, had her appearing in his nightmares.  
Every morning he begged that Stark wouldn’t come calling for him only to tell him that there had been another dead body. But he didn’t want to give up on her, even though there was nothing he could do about it and exactly _that_ was killing him.

“Late night special?” He heard Natasha’s voice calling him, but he didn’t care enough to be turning around for her. He just continued to stare at the news. More bad news, to be exact.

“You know; I find it more likely for them to get some information on Hydra first than S.H.I.E.L.D would ever give to us.” He sighed and sat up straight, fatigue shaping his already sad face. Natasha’s chest ached at the sight of him. She knew exactly how he felt.

“Hey.” She whispered and sat down next to him “There’s still hope, you know.” She didn’t know whether to touch him or not, so she just laid a hand next to his thigh.

“All of the bodies appeared seven weeks after they disappeared- “

“But they didn’t.” He interrupted her “They didn’t _just_ disappear. Hydra got to her and now S.H.I.E.L.D’s already looking out for the next name on the list instead of looking for her. They’ve already lost hope, Romanoff.” He huffed and switched the channel.

“Don’t say that, now. S.H.I.E.L.D is just being overly careful. And also they can be a little bitch sometimes” She cocked her brow “But they’re still looking for her. Nick gave me his word for it.” 

Fury. _Yeah._ He scoffed internally.  
Sure, after the incident he got them all grounded for a while, but he also saw their point of view. Still, he didn’t admit that they probably could’ve handled the situation by themselves, but he knew putting the team on ice would only work for so long.

“He’ll let us know when they found their hiding spot. And then we’ll kick some serious butt.” The corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk. He smiled back at her weakly.  
“Don’t lose your hope there, James.” She stood back up and walked off into her room on the other floor. 

He knew she was right. But it still was so hard to keep hopes up after so many weeks.  
He groaned and turned off the TV. 

It was going to be another long night.

***

Twelve hours later (and none of them had been sleep) Bucky found himself laying on the same spot on the couch. He was reading a book, trying to catch up with today’s pop culture and references, Sam and Wanda sitting at the dinner table, him eating some cereal and her playing on her IPhone as Bruce barged into the living room.

“Guys, come up. You’ve got to see this!” He seemed exited, his voice almost trembling.  
“What’s up.” Wanda asked as she looked up, a confused look on her face.  
“They found it.” He looked over at Bucky who had long abandoned his book.  
“They found her.” 

He hadn’t found himself on his feet that quick ever before, his long strides carrying him swiftly up the stairs and as he heard feet shuffling behind him, he assumed Wanda and Sam to be reacting the same way.  
They walked further upstairs, but a certain Tony Stark came to meet the halfway, rushing down the stairs again he declared the news.

“Get ready, everyone. I want you all suited up and ready to leave in ten.” They all followed him back downstairs, until Wanda intervened.

“But isn’t it better to let someone in Germany take care of this? Isn’t that better instead of making her wait five hours?” She had a point there.

“She’s not in Germany.” Bruce stated and Bucky’s head turned.  
“She’s upstate. Fury called as soon as they found the base, they’re headed there as well right now.” Tony said and stopped mid-way.  
“But it’s on us now. He’s only sending so-called emotional support. Medics and whatnot. We’ll have to fight out way in there. And out, for that matter.” He clapped his hands and then stretched out his arms  
“And now scatter, children! We have some bad boys to fight.”

***

Between the pounding of his blood in his ears and the adrenaline rushing through his veins he barely heard Natasha’s plead.  
He grabbed the Hydra agent by his throat with his left fist, closing his fingers around it as he gagged and tried to dig his fingers into Bucky’s arm before throwing him off the emergency staircase, making short process.

“A little help here.” She whimpered as another one tried to do the same thing to her, one hand closed around her throat and the other clamping her shoulder, pushing her hips into the creaking metal-railing until it bent.

He grabbed him by the straps of his uniform, whirling him around and driving his head against the door behind him with such force, he instantly fainted and slumped into a pile on the ground.

The two of them had been trying to get inside through the top while the others, Steve, Tony and Wanda, were already sweeping the ground floors. Sam had offered to fly over the premises, holding off any more enemies trying to break in from the outside, occasionally helping Bucky and Natasha by kicking some of them off the building since they were swarming in like a bunch of angry wasps protecting their queen.  
Where in this case a _price_ or _only leverage_ was more accurate than that.

“Y’all doing okay?” They heard Sam’s message over their headphones plucked in one of their ears.  
“We’re fine.” Natasha coughed and they both heard an evil laugh coming from the other line until Tony chimed in.  
“Thanks for asking, cowboy. We could actually use another pair of hands down here if you’re not too busy.”

There was a lot of yelling and shooting going on in the background.  
“I’ll be right down.” Natasha held a finger to the earpiece as she answered their message, turning to Bucky.  
“Do you think you can handle it?” She asked and he looked up the rest of the metal-wound staircase above their heads, seeing one body fly towards the ground with a yell.

“I’ve got you, Barnes! It’s all clear here!” Sam shouted. He looked back at Natasha and gave her a nod.  
“Go save the girl.” She said before climbing onto the edge of the railing and holding onto the grid above her with one hand, the other one flying to her ear again.  
“I need a trip downstairs, Sam.” And not even ten seconds later the Falcon showed up, hovering in the air in front of her.  
“Jump on, pretty woman.” And she did, holding onto his shoulders, her legs wrapped around his hips.  
“Don’t make me hurt you.” She warned before he laughed and they flew off, leaving the Winter Soldier to fend for himself.

He huffed as he stepped up the rest of the stairs.  
He wasn’t scared, per se. More like anxious for what he would find.  
The girl or whatever was left of her.

The wind hit him harshly in the face as he stood on the roof, looking down from the monstrosity of a warehouse. It was amidst of a harbor, yet still so abandoned with no worker to be seen for miles.

He stepped over to the lonely door there, left ajar by the previously fought agents and he gripped the handle, the door swinging open with a creak. 

There was another internal staircase waiting for him, reminding him of a parking garage.  
He held up his gun, aiming for chest area as he slowly went down each step, agonizingly slow, awaiting the enemy that never came.  
Once downstairs, there was an empty room, resembling an old conference hall with other doors and rooms branching off of it. 

It was so silent, Bucky only noticed it once it had become truly deafening to his ears.  
There was the crunch of shards underneath his heavy boots as he walked down the long hallway and the farther he walked inside, the more it stopped looking like something professional, but like an old, unsanitary hospital.  
The dirt and dried up blood had collected between the cracks of the dusty vinyl floor, the discolored wallpaper peeling off the walls and the cold light shining in from outside imitating the fluorescent vibe of a medical center.

He looked left and right, inside the rooms with the broken windows facing the hallway, but each one was empty.  
There was no place else for him to go, or so he thought until he had reached the end of the hallway.  
A single opaque door present and he hesitated, laying one unfeeling metal hand onto the also cold and unfeeling metal doorknob, preparing to face whatever was waiting for him until he heard the faint beeping originating from behind the door.

He stopped in his actions, holding onto that doorknob for dear life, listening to that steady, rhythmic beat. Mechanical almost and he realized what or who it belonged to, prying the door open until he was met with his vague expectations. 

The room was even colder with no windows whatsoever. The only room in the entire building that held some sort of life though, as he saw her unmoving form slumped over in an all too familiar chair. 

His breath caught in his throat as he stood there. Frozen. Flashbacks residing in his mind along with a fierce headache.  
The helmet that attached to the head and face was retracted behind her back, yet the iron shackles were still wrapped firmly around her skinny forearms, almost too big to hold her.  
Monitors were propped up and working, the beeping finding its source there and a number of IVs and thin tubes were winding their way inside her body, her arms covered in puncture wounds.  
He felt like his rage had just reached a new level.

Her head hung low between her shoulder blades, the length of hair he remembered on her cut roughly to reach her shoulders now, all of it falling into her face so he couldn’t see it.

He stood there for minutes, unable to move. Anxious of what he’d find if he pulled back the hair from her face…

“Buck, are you there?” The electrostatic voice of his friend popping up in his ear and he flinched hard enough to squeeze the doorknob down to scrap.

He reached his finger to his earpiece and hesitated for a second before pressing the button.  
“I have her, Steve.” He breathed and he noticed a cheerful reply coming from the other lines but didn’t pay attention as he carefully approached her stock-still form, extending a hand to touch the fabric around her icy skin, enclosing her shoulder and causing her to lean back into the seat and her head to fall back as well.

He cautiously reached up to cradle her neck as it tried to loll to the side again and a breath he didn’t know how long he’d been holding left his lungs as she groaned in pain. Her voice was raspy and he figured it must be from all the screaming she had endured.

He knew he screamed once he sat in that chair.  
His teeth ground, making his jaw clench and he suddenly couldn’t get her out of there fast enough.

He ripped off the shackles around her wrists, removed the needles from her veins with steady hands. She didn’t even feel it anymore.  
He bent his knees, hooking one arm under her knees and the other one around her back, holding his hand under her right arm as he carried her, feeling the poking of her rip bones under his fingertips. 

If she had been an average-sized girl before all that, there was not much left of her now, probable sleep- and food-deprivation having her size down until her bones stuck out prominently beneath her skin and making her weigh almost nothing to him.

He rushed back down the hallway and onto the roof, looking around for any sort of threat that could still be there waiting for them, but once he was proven wrong, he stepped down all five stories of the building and _ran_. 

He just ran with her lifeless form in his arms that he was clutching close to his body and shouted.

If someone held a gun to his head, he wouldn’t be able to recall how the others had found him or what it was he had been yelling, but the only thing he did remember was the incredibly strong and rapid pulse of her heart he had felt beating under his touch.


	9. Time And Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle wakes up to another nighmare called reality in Hydra's captivity. She thinks so at least and when she tries to escape there are some interesting things going down...

Waking up can be harsh, especially if your dreams are better than reality.

She still hovered on a cloud of deep slumber with the memory of the dream slowly beginning to fade from her mind, leaving her with a lonely feeling, the darkness of her sleep vanishing along with a dissatisfying hollowness of jumbled emotions.  
Her only proof that she had ever been dreaming at all.  
From that mess emerged a gentle reminder, the awareness of who she was beneath those drifting thoughts and her floating consciousness.

The first thing coming to her senses was a softness that already seemed so unlearned to the tips of her twitching fingers and she began to analyze that feeling lazily until her dream ended abruptly as she was shaken back into reality.

Her eyes shot open, the grit in them blurring her sight of the LED-light that penetrated her sensitive retina.

She blinked, closed her eyes, and blinked again.

Within seconds of snapping back to reality, the dream was not only forgotten, but completely erased and the next time all her sensations kicked in she felt the cold sweat washing over her skin, soaking the fabric that was clinging to her back and making her hair stick to her face, all while her heart was trying to escape through her throat.  
The faded sound of the beeping was still ringing inside her head, but aside from her raspy breath there was nothing to be heard.

Now she was awake, and probably more fully than she had ever been before.

It sent her back sitting straight up in the bed like an arrow as she drank in the almost paralyzing overstimulation of her senses. A whimper left her tired throat at the view in front of her;  
Another time and another place, _again_ , yet the procedure was always the same.  
The ceilings high, the walls cold and the air sterile, and she found all the different kind of machines standing right next to her bed, surrounding her. Cornering her.  
She looked down at her arm.  
Another needle stuck inside her body, pumping unknown fluids inside her that would have her screaming and thrashing in her chair otherwise, but strangely it didn’t this time.  
Her wrists were freed and she grabbed the needle and pulled it out with a hiss and shaky fingers, the blood oozing out and dripping down her forearm.

She jumped out of bed onto equally shaky legs, gripping onto the bed-frame to keep the sudden nausea and dizziness outside of her head and her body upright. She squeezed her eyes and gasped for breath, looking around the next chance she managed to see straight.

The room was bright. There was a window beside her and she squinted at the sunlight shining inside.

Something was different this time.

It seemed so clean and the door that stood opposite of the bed was made of glass, not metal or concrete. The opal glass that framed the same wall around that door showed her absolutely nothing she could make use of.  
For a split-second she thought that maybe she was in heaven, until shadows appeared behind that same murky glass and her breathing stopped along with her heart as she quickly reached for the next thing onto that metal counter beside the bed, a scalpel sorted out neatly next to other medical equipment.

She didn’t think much about it, it was more like a fight or flight response and with each thrum of her heart echoing in her ears she gripped the thin piece of metal harder in her hands, the adrenaline rising in her blood and she felt stronger than she ever had within the last couple of weeks, the dizziness making her vision blurry again as she heard the door slide open with a hiss. 

She turned as fast as her body would allow, seeing that two people clad in white clothing and another dressed in black and blue body armor had come in talking until their voices faded away at the sight of _her_.

She couldn’t make out their faces with the stars starting to fill her vision and she remembered what she was clutching closely to her heaving chest, raising her arm up to extend it and pointing the sharp blade into their general direction.  
Tension grew in her face and limbs, making her muscles start to twitch, the slim blade shaking in her grip as she tried to focus on the shine of the polished metal.

They stared at each other for a few long, _long_ seconds, not one daring to move.  
She couldn’t speak as she tried, her voice still raw from screaming and she coughed as she felt more than that blocking her throat, a strange liquid coating her tongue as she continued to struggle for words.

“Go away.” She warned as she battled the fear coiling in her stomach. Her breathing became more rapid, more shallow and soon she felt like blacking out, trapped inside her personal hurricane of pure fright taking over her actions. The room spun and she felt sick.

Not again would she ever let them touch her, torture her, causing her pain that made her empty the contents of her stomach onto herself until she felt like she’d suffocate.

She was shaking with _rage_. Rage and fear and despair.

Her breath was coming out in gasps as she gritted her teeth;  
“Go away.” She hissed once more, but the blurry figures in front of her didn’t.  
The anger was boiling inside of her like magma, surely as hell just as destructive. Something was literally crawling beneath her skin, making her eyes water with the sudden hotness collecting behind her eyelids.

Her chest clenched and unclenched with the fire leaving her lungs and when the agent came up to reach out for her, she snapped.

The force of it made her stumble back into the counter, the trays with the scalpels rattling with the impact, but it was nothing compared to the earsplitting shatter that rattled the entire _building_.  
She did black out for just a second, literal blackness filling her vision until she blinked again. 

Once.  
Twice.

And opened her eyes to an image that had completely changed.  
The bodies of the the people were scattered across the room, the two doctors sprawled out in the right corner between the wall and the broken pane of glass next to them. They were slumped against it, yet their eyes were still wide with both horror and panic. There was no sign of the other one until her eyes followed the trail of shards and pained moans coming from outside the room and yes, there she was. Catapulted through the sliding door and laying in a hallway that was her path to freedom. 

But she knew she’d never get out of there without their help.  
She stepped forward, ignoring the two people muttering, cowering on the ground.  
Everything seemed like in a dream. A dream that still was better than reality, setting her into a trance-like state of acceptance.

No. She’d never get out of there. Especially after whatever had happened, having thrown the agent out with a loud crash. And she didn’t want to know _how_ it had happened.

She stepped onto the shards without even noticing the pieces that bored into the soles of her bare feet and eyed the unconscious agent on the ground for only a second, seeing her brown hair and the cut on her forehead, before her eyes landed on the holster around her thigh and the gun attached to it.

She bent down and took it into her hands, felt the weight of it, the power it gave her.  
She had never held a gun before and she probably never would again, didn’t even know how to use the damn thing, but it didn’t matter anymore.

She turned around and aimed it at the two.  
Gasps left their lips and they held up their hands.

“Get me out of here.” She spat through gritting teeth.

“We- we can’t…” The young, Asian woman stammered and somehow she didn’t expect her to react any differently.  
Every single time when she had thought that they’d let her go, only more agents would’ve been lurking behind the next corner. Why should it be any different here?

It was her and a gun she didn’t know how to use against a swarm of bad guys who wouldn’t care if she shot the two in front of her. They never cared. Their only goal was to keep torturing her until she was nothing but a mindless soul ghosting inside that mutilated body they were trying to change so desperately.

Her heart sunk and she let out a sob, the lump in her throat making it impossible for her to scream out her frustration and suddenly the tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face to drip down to her bleeding feet. She was trembling, inside out.  
Realization hit her; there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Well… but maybe _one_ thing.

Without another thought she rose the gun up to her temple, her index finger vibrating on the trigger, waiting for her sweet relief.

But it never came.

The shot echoed inside her head, her ears ringing with the deafening sound of the bang that shook her body.  
No, the bullet didn’t make her drop dead like she had expected, but it someway pulled her to the _side_.  
For one second she thought she was dead, she felt the impact of cold metal on the side of her head, but after all, she was still _aware_ of what happened around her.  
The woman in front of her screamed and the next time she opened her eyes she found herself lying on the floor. But she was not alone.  
The cold metal was somehow still clinging to the side of her head, but more like, _holding onto her_ and she started to feel its coldness leading down the trail of her neck and around her torso until she turned her head slowly, only then grasping that not only did that thing belong to a person, but that this person was holding her firmly and that she was pressed against his front as she was leaning on the ground with him.

Her mind caught up. She wasn’t dead. In fact, she had never been more alive as her body started to kick in his grasp.  
She was still crying freely and she only realized it as her tears soaked the neckline of her hospital gown. Her sobs were resounding in the hallway and she clutched at the cold, unfeeling arm around her, but not to fight herself out of it, but to let herself know that she was still there and that _this was real_.

Everything hurt and she didn’t even realize the crowd of people running up the stairs at the end of the hallway, the ones who came storming towards them, but they stopped as their gazed locked with the one behind her, and they backed off again, leaving the two of them alone.  
She still hadn’t seen his face, but even as she slumped completely against him he supported her head, pulling the gun from her loose grasp with his right hand. 

She hadn’t even realized she was still holding onto it. 

He laid it beside them and shuffled back, pulling her with him as she sunk against his chest until he’d hit the wall with his back. She was shaking as she sat between his legs which were sprawled out in front of them and she just looked him over, as much as she could see, through blurry eyes and hiccup-y breaths. 

He was wearing sweatpants. _Goddamn sweatpants_.

It was something so simple that made her calm down a little. Something normal, that made her sobs reduce to sniffing until she began to notice the smell on him. A smell… there was something about it. She felt like she had smelled it before, but in a dream.  
It lingered there, in the air between them and weirdly enough, it calmed her down more than anything else.

His warm arm was slung around her stomach and even though he moved it there with such care, stroking his thumb over the fabric above her waist, she could feel an unknown amount of strength lingering there.

Her eyes grew tired with each rising of his chest behind her and before she was even aware of it, she succumbed to the force of unconsciousness pulling her down the rabbit hole and into another dream, far away from reality.


	10. The Man From The News And His Friends Who Were Gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle wakes up once more, only to realize that this time it's not anywhere near Hydra, but quite the opposite as she stumbles across two defrosted soldiers.

The next time she woke was gentler, as she could still feel the touch of this unknown man still lingering on her skin. Her eyes shot open as she traced the same spot on her hip with her own and once again she found herself lying on her back, staring at the ceiling of a room that looked, for whatever reason, familiar.

She said back up, the tinnitus in her ear ringing like a church choir and she hissed as she held her hand against it to distract from the pain going on in her head.  
This was a bed. A normal, comfortable one. Her eyebrows drew together as she looked around, taking in the situation she had found herself in once again.

There was furniture. A desk with a chair, a dresser, a closet and even a nightstand next to her with a small lamp on it that illuminated the room, along with the faint sunlight coming in from the windows above her head.  
The ceiling and the walls had weak rays of sunlight hitting them. The day was only just beginning. A new day of a new life maybe?  
She wondered and perhaps dreamed as well since the memories of her latest actions came rushing back to her. And even though she didn’t know what it meant, she knew that something had changed for her and the feeling she had gone to sleep with had been one of comfort, so _hell yes_ , she dreamed. _Hoped_ , even.

She sat on the edge of the bed, hands gripping the edge of the mattress as she looked down at her bandaged feet.  
She didn’t quite remember what was behind that, but realized the problem as soon as she stood up, the sting reminding her of the pain. It all came back. One by one.

She struggled to remember all of it but at least for now one thing was clear;  
If they had wanted to kill her they would’ve by now. Or at least they must’ve had stopped experimenting on her. The question of what had or still would happen to her body, her being maybe, still lingered in the back of her head. 

But for now, she had to know where she was and whether she was safe or not.

She was heading for the door until just a few feet in front of it, a voice sounded above her head, making her flinch and loose her balance until she collapsed onto the carpeted ground, her hands holding her head as she squeezed her eyes shut.

“ _Annabelle?_ ” A female voice with a British accent resounded in the small room. She looked up, confused. There was no one with her.

" _My name is Friday, I’m a Natural-Language User Interface created by Tony Stark. He wanted me to advise you as soon as you woke up._ ” She continued.  
A System…?  
_No way. She sounded way too real to be one_ , she thought until the rest of the information reached her.  
“Where am I?”  
“ _You’re currently in New York City. The Stark tower, specifically._ ”  
She swallowed her heartbeat down her throat. The _Avengers_.  
If this was true, it’d mean that she’d be safe. For now, at least.

“ _Mr. Stark has told me to inform you that you’re no longer in any danger, Annabelle. The Avengers are here with you and you don’t need to feel afraid of them._ ”  
She paused, giving her enough time to process the new information.

“ _Mister Steve Rogers, or as you might know him, Captain America, is currently on the floor beneath you in the living area. The others are still asleep, but I can wake them if you would like me to._ ” She offered, her voice weirdly soothing, making her believe every word.

“ _Miss Feldner_?” She asked softly. 

Annabelle still sat on the floor, her hands gliding down her body from where they had still been clutching her head for protection until they landed on each side of her thighs.  
She wasn’t wearing her dirty clothes anymore. Or the hospital gown she had been put into after her arrival. She was wearing a pair of soft gym shorts and a long-sleeved shirt and it dawned on her that if she had already been there as she attacked those people, they hadn’t been the bad guys after all. Hot blood heated her face at the realization.  
They had just been trying to help her…

“ _Do you understand what I’m saying_?” Friday repeated, slowly and clearly.  
Annabelle shook her head.  
“No, I mean yes. I understand you.”  
“ _Okay, then. Do you want me to inform anyone?_ ”  
“No. It’s fine.” She muttered as she got back up onto her stinging feet, heading for the door.  
“ _Alright, let me know if you need anything else._ ” She sounded and that was it. Silence.

She opened the door carefully to spy into the hallway that crossed her path, standing in the doorframe while looking from left to right.  
There was no one there. Maybe they actually were all asleep.  
Except for one person that used the coffee machine downstairs. She knew the familiar hiss and the rattle of cups in the early morning and she assumed that’s what it was. 

The sun had not yet risen fully, but she’d like to think that summer time had already begun.  
Sunrise was therefore not too far away.

She took a step forward and another after that, grabbing the railing in front of her to look down onto the assumed living space Friday had been talking about.  
And when she looked over the sofa and TV beneath her, the big dining table to the left and the kitchen up front, she spotted one certain, world-famous soldier.  
Captain America.

She didn’t move, hell, she didn’t even breathe, but she figured there must still be something in his subconsciousness, some old military alertness branded into his brain that still made him look up to her and she froze. 

They just stared at each other and she could feel her body tensing up, her shoulders rising and her eyes opened wide.  
Meanwhile he just looked back at her calmly with the coffee pot still hovering above the mug.  
He looked just like he did on the news. Except for the suit and helmet perhaps, but his body and face was the same under his normal clothes, his hair kempt back.  
He looked like an exact replica of his action figures or something.  
It was ridiculous.

“Hi, there.” He eventually said, his voice deep and calming and he didn’t seem alerted at all.  
A few moments had passed until she realized that he had actually talked to her, but her voice was gone so she raised up her hand instead to wave back at him slowly.

He smiled and it lit the already bright room. _Was he always this cheery?_

“I made some coffee if you want some.” He offered and held the steaming cup in his hands.  
Well, he’d seen her already. I’d be weird if she turned around now.

She stepped left, going down the stairs that lead down there and she looked around once more when she was downstairs, seeing it from another perspective and taking it in, continuing to walk until she stood in front of the counter separating the two.  
It took her by her own surprise.

He didn’t hesitate in carefully handing the cup over to her, sliding it over the surface like feeding a hungry dog, not knowing if she’d bite back.  
He still meant no bad in it, though. Probably better he did it anyway.  
She was pretty hungry, after all.

“Thanks.” She whispered and cleared her throat, looking up at his kind eyes.  
She hadn’t had a coffee in weeks, let alone a decent meal.

She felt it in the loose fit of the shorts she was wearing and that shirt that was falling loosely around her belly.  
She had lost so much weight, it made her shake her own head as she looked down at herself.

“Do you maybe want something to eat? I can make some breakfast if you like.” He stated and his question was answered by the audible rumbling of her stomach.  
He smiled as she wrapped her arms around her belly to deafen the sounds a little.  
“Yes, please.”

He nodded and opened the fridge behind him, pulling out some toast, butter, cheese and ham.  
“You know we also have Nutella or maybe some eggs and bacon…?”  
Surprisingly, her stomach turned even more at the thought of it.  
She didn’t know if she could keep anything greasy inside of her.

“Toast is fine, thank you.” She hesitated before speaking up again.  
“Steve, yes?”  
“That’s right.” He nodded and pressed down the button of the toaster, making the bread disappear inside it.  
“I’m guessing you know my name already?” She raised a questioning eyebrow at him as his mouth opened to talk, but it shut once the question had left her mouth.

“Yes, I do.”  
“Mhm.” She nodded and swung her legs under the bar stool she was sitting on.  
“Figures.” She mumbled and another rumble of her stomach broke the silence.  
“How long exactly… have I been unconscious?” She questioned cautiously.  
She had lost all concept of time, at all.

“Almost four days.” He said, still holding eye contact with her. He wasn’t uncomfortable with anything that was happening and she actually was really grateful for that.

“Three until yesterday… and then again after you-” He took a breath “passed out again.”  
She swallowed and nodded, looking down at her hands laying in her lap.

“Hey.” He said and made her look back up. He smiled back at her warmly.  
“It’s all going to be okay.”  
The toast sprang out of the toaster.

He placed it on a plate and held it out for her to take and she did, giving him a grateful look.  
She was given a knife as well and she was confused at that.  
_Didn’t they think she’d plunge it into her neck or something?_  
Telling from Steve’s look on his face _he_ didn’t and she thought that was good enough for now.

“What time is it?” She asked as she bit into the dry piece of bread. She felt like that was all she’d be able to stomach.

He looked down at the watch on his wrist.  
“Five past seven.”  
_Already_?

“The rest of the team will start to get up soon, then you’ll be able to meet them if- “  
“No!” You warned with a full mouth and he stopped mid-sentence.

“If you don’t want to see them yet that’s fine, too. I know it can be overwhelming, coming home to this”  
_Home_. Huh.  
But she knew what he was talking about.  
His time as a living popsicle. Must’ve been quite a shock too. But exceptionally, this wasn’t it.

“It’s not that.” She shook her head and looked around, afraid that one might hear and perhaps feel the same, because she was afraid of that.  
“It’s- I… I don’t-” She stammered and her head sunk down between her shoulders, looking not only ashamed with her cheeks turning red, but scared.

“What is it?” He asked her softly and stepped a little closer.  
“I don’t know what I did.” She whispered through a tight throat.  
“I- I think I hurt some people, but I don’t remember… I don’t know what I did or who I hurt…” She rambled on, her breathing going quicker and he watched as tears sprang to her eyes.  
His heart sank a little at the sight and he wanted to step over and hold her, but neither did he know if it was too early for that, nor why her silent sobs had begun to turn into a crying laughter.  
He looked down at her in confusion.  
“Are you okay?” He asked carefully and she nodded through tears that rolled over her smiley face.  
“It’s just… you’re real, you know? I wasn’t sure, but this, you-” She sniffed and wiped the back of her hands underneath her eyes.  
“I’m safe and I thought I would die there. I really did.” She was back to sobbing but he could tell she was happy, that all the tension collected in her back and shoulders was finally released from her body.

“You’re not going to die.” He assured her with a smile of his own, until he spotted something turning around the corner and into the kitchen as well.  
One very familiar face to be exact.

***

Bucky stopped the second he laid eyes on her while she was staring right back at him.

Her eyes went incredibly wide after a few seconds, her cheek tinted bright red.  
She had remembered.

The fixation on his arm was what gave it away. The left one. The one he had saved her with, pushed his hand between the bullet and her brain and cradled her with the same one afterwards.

Bucky was convinced that was the only good thing this hand had ever done.

He had lingered in the living space and the lab within the past couple of days, just to make sure she was doing alright. He still couldn’t believe that she was.  
After all the shit Hydra had done to her…

Well, no one could tell if she truly was. He sure as shit hadn’t been. Still wasn’t.  
But she was there and alive. And still staring right back at him.

“Uhm…” Steve tried to break the tension lingering in the air around them after a few seconds of just blankly staring at each other without one word being said.  
“Bucky, this is- “  
“Abbie.” She interfered, her gaze still gripping onto him like an iron fist, even though he was the one with that.  
Her eyes were so big… whether it was normal or she was still in shock… he found himself lost in the grey of them. Almost hypnotizing.

“Or… Anna.” She continued, her speech slow and he didn’t realize that she was getting lost in him as well, even though she couldn’t place the feeling that was burning behind her chest.  
Some familiarity, as if from a dream or something else.  
But for the love of god, she couldn’t place it.

He didn’t realize that his friend was giving him a look, raising his eyebrows at him to make him speak.  
“This is Bucky.” He smiled as he turned his head back to her “He’s… not very _chatty_.”  
He urged him to talk again and that shook him from his trance.

“Hi.” He croaked out, still overwhelmed by her presence. In this room, with him.  
She seemed so unreal.  
“I’m, uhm… Bucky. Like he just said…” He hesitated.  
He didn’t know why, but speaking seemed like more of a challenge than usual.

“Hello.” She said back softly and managed a faint smile. Her posture was still cowering. She was way thinner than when he last saw her five weeks ago. The plumpness of her cheeks had almost vanished, only appeared again as the corners of her mouth turned up.  
She had suffered, that girl.

“Uh, is it okay if I take that into my room?” She stood back up slowly as she held the plate with one piece of dry toast on it in her hands.  
“Sure. Oh, and… _Anna_?” Steve used her name for the first time.  
“Yes?”  
“Take all the time you need. But we’re here for you if you need us.”  
She smiled, yet Bucky still noticed the glassiness in her eyes. Whether it was from tiredness or sadness.  
“Thanks, Steve.” She mumbled and looked back at Bucky one last time before she turned around, heading for her room.

Steve didn’t speak up again until her door had closed behind her.

“Poor girl.” He shook his head and spoke to him “Do you think she’ll be alright?” He asked and Bucky shrugged, his gaze still lingering on her door upstairs.  
“I don’t know.”  
He sighed deeply.  
“I really don’t.”


	11. Wishful Thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Annabelle run into each other during during their insomnia.

Annabelle paced around in her room on quiet feet.  
The events of yesterday had played on repeat inside her head for at least an hour now and she was beginning, no, full-blown frustrated and she let out a desperate whine.  
At one point she had even closed a fist around her throat and cut off her windpipe for long enough until black stars swam in her vision.  
She had been so close, but her survival instinct had other plans for her. Not after surviving all that, no.  
She wouldn’t die choking herself to death.

But also, that hadn’t been the purpose of her self-infliction.

She wanted to feel what she felt 24 hours ago.  
She didn’t remember all of the incident, but she knew that the three people hadn’t just thrown themselves at the walls behind them.  
She had gone over that memory until her brain hurt. At one point she had even grabbed a paper from the desk in her room to write everything down she remembered, step by step.

And there was absolutely nothing between _fear, panic & anger_ and _opening her eyes to find the doctors and the agent scattered out in front of her_.

She hadn’t blacked out, but she had seen black starting to fill her vision, so she closed a hand around her throat to see those stars, to come close to the adrenaline in her veins and the fright for her life.  
But not quite close enough.

Something had changed. Well, they had changed _her_ and thinking about it, about the girl with the red hair from the news or Steve Rogers downstairs; she could have be afflicted in a similar way.

She just needed to know what the hell it was…

She glimpsed the shine of a pair of scissors in front of her, squinting at it. _Considering it_ , before she shook her head and slapped her own cheek.  
“Cut the crap.” She whispered to herself.

There were a hell of a lot of more questions she needed to be answered first since she wasn’t floating around her room or growing scales on her body or something…

_Why?_ For example.  
The question she had begged for the last five weeks of being held captive.  
Oh, and yes. It had been five weeks. She had seen it on the digital clock on the nightstand.  
_Five fucking weeks._  
She had asked them over and over again while they had pumped that purple liquid inside her veins that made her scream until she went mute, made her loose all control of her body functions.  
She had pissed herself not just once while she’d been under it.

And they had just let her sit in it for days until they woke her again with a bucket of water over the head.

She shook her head and stood up quickly.  
She couldn’t think about it, not for one goddamn second.  
She had already spent the last two hours crying about it, but she just physically couldn’t continue.  
That was when she realized what she had actually done after she’d thrown those guys around…  
Then, and when she had looked at him. Realized what he had actually done for her.

Bucky.

But the more she thought about it, the more nightmares, hell, even _daymares_ , if there was such thing... flashbacks and more pain came back to her like she was reliving the whole thing.

She just couldn’t.  
She knew she needed distraction.  
And she wouldn’t find it pacing around the room in circles.

***

The moment Tony had joined their conversation; he knew it would only get his blood boiling.  
That man was a constant, smug pain in his ass. Everyone’s ass.

“How about we just ask her when she gets out of her room instead of talking behind her back?” Bucky asked and he felt his voice getting low with controlled anger.

“Great idea. That girl probably doesn’t even remember what she did, let alone how she did it.”

“She was scared and terrified, Tony. Are you really trying to hold that against her?” Steve asked and he sounded pissed off as well.  
“Maria, Helen and her assistant are fine as you know.”

Tony looked at them incredulously.  
“Why are we always assuming that I’m the bad guy? Am I the only person hearing this or what?" He threw his hands in the air in disbelief.  
“I’m not 'holding anything against her', but you’re missing the real point here. She threw people against a _wall_ with only her will.” He said with emphasis on each word.  
“I’m not saying that she’ll go on a killing spree, I’m just saying that EXmode has _worked_. Hydra has created a new weapon.”

“She’s not. A weapon.” Bucky snarled “She’s just a damn girl.”

“Okay, sure. She’s a girl with powers to wipe us all out, but-” He held up a hand to stop any more remarks coming from Bucky or Steve.  
“She’s in our care. That means we have to make sure she’s doing fine both physically and mentally. About the first thing; Bruce will be taking her blood samples not only to check if she’s doing okay, but to see what it was that took shape there. We need to know if she’s still in any danger to herself.”

Bucky grumbled, but knew he was right. Maybe that’s why he protested in the first place.  
He wasn’t a bad man when it came to it, he just didn’t like him a lot is all.  
Especially when he was right.

“We’ll give her enough space and time to settle in, but we’ll need to talk to her eventually.”  
Natasha tried to comfort Bucky. He nodded, but didn’t look her in the eyes.  
“She’ll be fine, I promise.”

***

Annabelle whimpered, writhing and tangling in her sheets, only that she wasn’t really there, drenching the bed with her sweat and tears.

She was back in the laboratory. One of the four different ones she had been in while being held captured, yet she couldn’t remember which one.  
Maybe this even was a new one.  
Maybe they had taken her again or maybe she had never left them in the first place.

Her dreams were better than reality, always had been, so what if maybe she just pictured it to herself. All that hoped. It probably fueled whatever was brewing inside of her. Whatever it was they had planted there. She didn’t want to know what it grew up to be.

But right now she felt the poison coursing through her blood again and the realization of that glimmer of hope being ripped in two made her cry out again.

A scorching cast iron pipe was pressed inside her chest and she saw its white-hot glow before she shot up straight inside her bed and she swore she saw a noir black movement in the already dark room before her eyes even had a chance to accustom to it.

She blinked rapidly, clasping her hand against her chest where she still felt the metal being bored into her, but there was nothing there.  
She was alone.  
And it was _dark_ , she realized.

She heard the beat of her heart in her ears and choked for air as she turned to take a look at the digital clock on the nightstand.  
Almost four in the goddamn morning.

When she had thought to herself earlier that she needed a distraction, she hadn’t actually been thinking of more sleep.  
But apparently her body had needed it and she’d let no one tell her that she wasn’t entitled to it.

Her stomach growled loudly and she laid a hand on the skin of her belly.  
She hadn’t had real food in days. Those two meager pieces of bread hadn’t done much.  
They’d helped a little, maybe.  
But there she was, as hungry as a fucking _bear_ because her stomach sure sounded like it.

When she stood up, she felt dizzy from the lack of food her body had suffered and she opened the door quietly, looking outside to see if someone was around, but she couldn’t hear a thing, so she sneaked outside on quiet feet.

Well, at least she thought she had been alone, because the second her foot hit the smooth stone surface of the floor somewhere below her, she saw the flickering of dim lights to her right along with whispers.  
And when she turned around the corner she saw that same man from earlier.

His eyes were trained on the screen. He truly looked like he was sleeping with his eyes open. Deep, steady breathing and motionless limbs sprawled out on the couch.

It was only after a few seconds that he opened his eyes wide as if to wake himself up, or maybe keep himself awake, and his gaze flicked to his right, his head turning quickly to stare at her.  
The silence seemed to be a reoccurring thing with them.

She wondered what he did here. Not in this particular room maybe during this hour… well… maybe. But what exactly he was doing in the Stark tower. She had never seen him on TV or as a part of the Avengers’ group. So what was he a part of? Where exactly did he belong to?

She realized that she had been staring at him for a while, so she quickly averted her gaze and gripped her bruise-covered arm with her right hand.  
He spoke up before she had the opportunity to stumble over her words.

“Can’t sleep either?” He asked and a breath she didn’t know she had been holding left her.  
“Not really.”  
She fidgeted on the spot.  
“I will… just make something. Food. In the kitchen.” She pointed her finger at it.  
Damn, she had really lost all of her English skills back in her room, hadn’t she.

“Yeah, okay…” He nodded and watched her as she walked off.  
He felt like he should be following her, but he didn’t want to seem too pushy. He was thinking way too much about what other people thought of him for someone that hadn’t given any shits whatsoever for close to seven decades. Hell, even before that.  
But now…?  
He couldn’t help himself. All that fucked up shit that was him didn’t only include PTSD and insomnia, but anxiousness altogether.  
And he had been out of that shithole for like three months already.

Maybe he would’ve come to give this place and the people a shot more quickly, hadn’t Steve handled him like a porcelain doll.  
Maybe if he would’ve had him as his old friend, instead of his caretaker…  
Things could’ve been easier for him to get used to. He realized now that being alone with your thoughts had not been the best way to deal with all this.

So he pulled himself together and stood up, walking after her as she had the door to the fridge opened wide, hiding behind it, only to yelp as she closed it seconds later to see him lingering behind it.  
Her hand went to cover her jumping heart.  
“Sorry.” He mumbled and looked away. She ran a hand through her messy hair. Under the light it looked like it had just a tinge of red in it.  
“’S fine.” She breathed and that’s when he first realized the tiniest accent.  
“Are you… is it okay if I talk in English with you?” He asked hesitantly. She looked surprised, one brow cocked at him and a small smile appeared on her lips.  
“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I can understand you.” She held a carton of milk in her hand.  
“Do you have any cereal around here?”  
“Yeah, hold up.” He said and moved past her, brushing her arm as he reached for the cupboard behind her.  
“Which one do you want?”  
There were about three different boxes, but she couldn’t see it from her stance.  
“I, uhm, I can’t see it…” She muttered and looked up at him with big eyes. He didn’t chuckle right away, but he let out a puff through his nose, along with a tiny smirk on his lips that made her aware of him being amused by her.

“Yeah, right. Ha-Ha. I forgot small people are funny.” She propped up a hand on her hip and raised her eyebrows at him.  
He wasn’t even trying to hide it.  
“It’s not that.” He shook his head as he pulled out all of the three boxes from above, a smile still forming his lips.  
“And you’re not even that small.”

“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with that information.” She said and examined the boxes, squinting her eyes and pursing her already pouty lips more. It seemed like she did that when she was thinking. It was kind of adorable.

“That one, please.” She said after a few minutes and he handed the box over to her, placing the other two back into the cupboard.

“Thanks.” She whispered and poured the cornflakes into the bowl and then the milk after that.

He walked past her again, but this time, with the air that was passing by, she was able to smell the scent on him, her eyes going wide with realization.  
No wonder he had seemed familiar. She _had_ seen him in a dream. Only that it hadn’t been a dream at all. Well, it both had and hadn't been.  
The last time she had passed out in that chair she had been hooked to, she had woken up briefly to this exact scent tickling her senses.  
It smelled like freshly washed clothes, like mint and berries. Like aftershave that didn’t burn her nose. Like the ocean on a stormy day. 

The next time she had fallen into unconsciousness, she did so hovering on a cloud of comfort despite the lack of food and sleep and rest and joy that had been in her life for what felt like _so_ long.  
Yesterday morning as she had seen him in the kitchen with Steve she had realized that it had been him that saved her from that bullet and held her afterwards until she had drifted off again, but only now did she realize that he had been both of those people. Both having the superpower to calm and comfort her even in the darkest of moments yet.

And yes, there was that thing about her trying to kill herself, and another interesting point that involved him having a _metal arm_?  
But she needed time to comprehend the knowledge that each time he had been the one to pull her out of the fire.  
And she didn’t know how to thank him for that.

“Are you okay?” He asked cautiously as he sat down in front of her. She had stared into her bowl of cereal for quite some time.  
She cleared her throat and looked at him with eyes so wide and desperate, he thought she would burst out in tears any second.  
“I’m fine.” She whispered and stared back into the bowl.

“It’s okay if you’re not, y'know?” He said and tried to get her to look back at him until she eventually gave in.  
“I- I mean I get it. Not being able to sleep because you’re still haunted by the thoughts of it…” She looked back at him in surprise, the gears turning inside her head.

_The red star on his metal arm._

She had seen that star on many other men back then…

“Is that why you’re watching TV on the couch instead...?” She whispered and he nodded back at her as he stared at the ground timidly.  
“I just want you to know that you’re not alone. I knew I was when I came here and I just- I don’t want you to feel that way…”  
_Because it’s my fault you’re here._

He was awake because he was hunted by Hydra and plagued by the guilt he felt the minute he had laid eyes on her standing in that pink kitchen of hers.  
She just didn’t deserve this. A life of a mannequin or even its after-effects.

That’s partly why he had lingered in front of her door for the past couple of days because he knew he couldn’t make it right, but he also wouldn’t have been able to look at himself in the mirror ever again. It was already hard enough as it is.  
And after all it had been the best of ideas since his hand had made the difference between her sitting in front of him eating cereal at four in the morning and her with a bullet in her freaking brain.

He still knew that she wasn’t saved, but at least she was there and that was all that mattered for now.

“Thank you. For saving my life.”  
That was when his head shot up to gape at her.

“It was you, right? You got me out of there. And you also…” She took a deep breath “Stopped the bullet with it, right?” She gave a nod into the direction of the metal arm attached to his side.

“I, uhm. Yes. That was me.” He stammered sheepishly.  
“And you’re right. Maybe I won’t ever be fine again. But I want you to know that what I did was because I thought they still had me and I just couldn’t…” Her chin trembled. She was trying to hold it in.  
“I couldn’t handle it anymore. But you stopped me and I just wanted you to know that maybe I’m not entirely fine, but I will be better. I want to believe that. And you won't need to save me from that sort of thing again…”  
Her breath was shaky, yet her head was clear and she didn’t want to cry in front of him.

“But I’m grateful that you did.”

There was a long silence during which Bucky and Annabelle simply looked at each other, but they both knew they didn’t need to fill it with unnecessary vaporing to make it count.  
As cheesy as it sounds, but they knew what they wanted to say already.  
Bucky smiled at her and he saw her smiling back before she stood up with the bowl in her hands and headed into the living room, plopping down onto the sofa in front of the TV.  
Bucky nodded to himself and followed her, sitting down next to her.

It didn’t seem like much, but it was a big step for her antisocial self and she bit her lip as he sunk down next to her, the two of them still not exchanging one word, but they didn’t need to. They both appreciated the silence and she felt like she was glowing from within because maybe it was just wishful thinking, but _maybe_ she had just made her first friend.


	12. The Tingle In My Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle gets to meet Bruce and they take her blood sample to get closer to answering the question as to what had happened to her.  
> Meanwhile Anna relives flashbacks from the day she woke up in the lab.

Bucky and Annabelle stayed up until the sun rose, just watching TV and enjoying each other’s company.  
They didn’t talk much after, only some occasional questions from Annabelle, asking him to change the channel or some coming from him, asking her to explain some pop culture references to him, which she did gladly and overexcitedly.

They both saw the house beginning to show life, Steve being the first one to greet them as he entered the living room.  
“Well, hello there.” The corner of his mouth turned up into a smirk, his brows raised at both of them.  
“I see you’re doing alright.” He stated and strolled into the kitchen.  
Bucky huffed and Annabelle smiled before she yawned.  
“You know you can go back to bed, right?” Bucky asked her with a gentle voice. She shook her head as tears formed in her tired eyes.  
“It’s better if I don’t…” They both knew what she meant “But I also want to have some sort of a sleep pattern, you know?” She stood up from the couch and stretched her limbs.  
“I think I’ll have to meet the rest of the group eventually.” She sighed and let the joints in her back pop.  
“I probably have a lot of their questions to answer.”

“You wont have to say anything you don’t feel comfortable with.” He assured her and she laid her hands on each of her shoulders, bending her head back, yet still looking at him through her lashes.  
“I’m only afraid that I’ll be useless. I don’t know shit about anything that happened back there.”  
“Then you’ll just tell them that.”  
She suppressed a smirk of her own.  
“Yeah, maybe I’ll do that.”  
She started walking backwards, still holding eyes contact and pointing her thumb at the stairs behind her.  
“I’ll go take a shower…okay. Yes.” She answered her own thought and walked off.

He continued to stare back onto the screen.

Bucky was glad about what he had said to her back in the kitchen.  
He needed her to know she had someone to talk to if she wanted to.  
He hadn’t expected her to remember him, though. She had already stared at his metal arm various, numerous times. For so long, he had projected his fears onto those stares.  
Because he felt like she knew about all the horrible things he had done.  
The things he had done for Hydra.  
But the way she had talked to him and the little information he gave her to make her feel a little better about herself, didn’t give her enough to paint the whole picture. It made him feel like she only knew half of the story, that he had been their victim, too.

Which was right, after all. Still, he felt like he was lying right into her face.  
And the crazy thing about it was that he felt the need not to do that. He cared.  
Because he let her down one time and after that his only mission left would be making sure that it would never happen again.

Of cause he was curious about what had actually happened in the lab upstairs and what the new serum had done to her entirely, but first; she seemed normal to him and second; he was convinced that she wouldn’t know or remember more than him as well.

He would be there if she needed him to be, but until then he would keep his distance for her own good. He couldn’t have her knowing that he had worked for the enemy for over seventy years. She couldn’t know that such a man was living under the same roof as her.  
He couldn’t do that to her.

She’d find out eventually, but they all knew that she had enough to deal with at the moment as it is.

_So he’d just linger in the shadows behind her like a fucking creep._ The thought crawled through the back of his head and a blush crept up his neck.

The bad side of his brain always had to get a word in. Be it in the form of crippled anxiety or self-degradation.

But he still believed in good intentions and those were the thoughts he wanted to keep.

***

The shower had felt good on her abused skin. Her hair had already been greasy as fuck and she had no longer endured her own smell.  
It had fallen from her mind and her attention for a long while until she sat on the couch for more than a few minutes, sitting in her own stew.  
Sounds more disgusting than it actually was. She was mostly still crusty with blood in some places. Dirt as well.  
She watched the pink-colored water flow down the drain.  
And yes, sure, she had begun to sweat wildly again during her “sleep”, but thank god that had been all.  
Her injuries that included cuts and puncture wounds with bruises around them which had mostly healed and faded.  
She was still a little discolored altogether, too pale as her body was still adjusting to not only the environmental change but her guess was the internal one as well.

She still didn’t feel it though.  
The only strange thing until now had been the scene in the lab, although it had felt more like a panic attack or an adrenaline rush. Her instincts taking over instead of real, actual conscious actions.

She had stepped out of the shower and wiped her palm over the fogged mirror.  
She looked so _drained_ of everything.  
Her collarbones stuck out like they never had before and her cheekbones and defined jawline were shaping her face dramatically.  
Her belly had gotten flatter and even her tits had shrunken.

To her it felt like she had been gone for way longer than just five weeks.  
She couldn’t believe all of that had happened in so little time.

She sighed and looked away from her reflection, draping a fluffy towel over her wet skin.

She remembered as they cut her hair. Her second day after her abduction and one man had come up to her with a blade. She had never been more afraid, more convinced that this was how she was gonna go.  
But he just walked up behind her and grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling her head back.  
She had been screaming throughout the whole process.  
Then she heard the sound and felt the sensation that made her realize he had just cut it all of. Well, most of it anyway.

Remove any inconvenience, she realized that after.

It still felt weird, not having it hang down her back and it still looked like someone had cut it off for her. Longer there, shorter on other ends and altogether aggressively shaped.

She actually didn’t mind the length. Just the way it reminded her of how for five whole weeks her life and body had not belonged to her.

_Can’t think about it, Anna._

She reminded herself and walked out of the bathroom, the chilly air there rising goose-bumps on her skin.  
The closet was fully equipped with clothes. She let out a sigh of relief before she pulled out a sports-bra, panties, a t-shirt, jeans and socks.  
With each item of clothing she put on she felt her weight-loss even more, the clothes all a size too big which would have normally fitted her just fine, but now she just looked like a sad potato sack.

_Stop pitying yourself_ , the voice in her head snapped back at her.  
_Just eat a few pizzas more and you’ll be right back to normal, if that’s what you want to call it…_

She shook her head as she aggressively brushed her wet and knotty hair.  
Out of all things, this would be the last to be dealt with. She sure as hell had more important things on her plate.

She stormed out of her room and whirled around, observing the rest of the hallway.  
Last time she checked it was just after eight. She didn’t know when the rest of the Avengers would get up and start their day, but she had already heard more voices coming from downstairs behind the closed door of her room.  
She stepped back downstairs and immediately locked eyes with another man.

“Hello.” She spoke and approached the man in his forties who was sitting at the table, eating breakfast, surprisingly sitting there all by himself. He looked at her almost comically timidly, yet his eyes were kind and he pushed his glasses farther up his nose.  
“Good morning.” He stammered in a soft voice and managed a hesitant smile.  
His face looked familiar. Well, he was an Avenger after all, but which one… 

She sat down on the opposite seat of him. He looked at her like a puppy. Pretty lost, with big eyes and messy curls of dark hair on his head.

He cleared his throat “Are- I mean, how, how are you doing?” He finally managed.  
“I’m… good. Thank you.” Considering…  
“So” She squirmed in her seat, watching him wipe his hands on his pants “Which one are you again? I’m sorry for asking, I’m really bad at remembering faces.” She chuckled.  
“Oh, no worries. It happens all the time actually. I guess my green and big alter ego is perhaps more popular than I am, huh?” He smiled nervously, clearly uncomfortable with the sad truth. _Of cause._

“You’re-“  
“Bruce Banner.” He reached out his hand across the table and she shook it.  
She was astonished by how similar their facial features were despite looking completely different once he had changed into this Hulk- _man_ …

“It’s very nice to meet you, Annabelle.” He said and she wasn’t surprised that he knew her name. They all had to know after all.  
“It’s nice to meet you, too.” She smiled and sat back into her chair.  
“So, when do they usually get up?” She looked around. Bucky had vanished from his previous position on the couch and wasn’t in the kitchen either.

“The others? I don’t know, Steve is usually the first one to get out of the house to take a jog in the park or something…” He looked over his shoulder as well.  
“But the others should’ve been here already I think. I- I don’t know, really…” He muttered.  
“Okay.” She sighed “I just hoped I could-“  
“Finally get it over with?” He chuckled.  
“Oh, no. It’s not-“  
“Don’t worry, I get it.” He reassured her.  
“It can be strange, coming to a place like this. Seeing all the others and thinking; why am I even here?”  
She scrunched up her nose and smiled back “Yeah. Sort of.”  
“Well, then. Welcome to the club.” He ran a hand through his tousled hair.  
“Hm. Is this what this is, though.” She mumbled more to herself than to anybody else, but he still heard her question.  
“I don’t… I’m not sure, really.” He sighed, looked almost guilty.  
“We are here to help you; I don’t know what comes after that.”  
“So you don’t know what will happen to me?”  
“Well, that’s” He shook his head, looking down at his plate and letting out a desperate laugh  
“That’s difficult to answer. They- we don’t know what Hydra did to you and… it’s kind of a priority to figuring out the next step. We need to know what they did, what it did to you and what their next approach to this is.”  
Her mind began to drift away.  
“What they were planning on doing or the advantage you might’ve given them.”

She sort of figured.

_Hydra._

She had heard it on numerous occasions. Bound to a chair, while floating in and out of consciousness, singing in the back of her head like a mantra. Soldiers raising their fists above their heads while screaming that same word as a salute.  
It all had seemed very Third-Reich-ish.

Her tormenter’s face finally had an unmistaken name.

“Annabelle?” Dr. Banner’s gentle voice pulled her out of her thoughts.  
“Yes?” She didn’t realize her eyes had begun to fill with water until she blinked at him and tears rolled over her face.  
“Hey, uhm. I- I’m sorry. Gosh, I knew I shouldn’t have said it like that, I mean they just got you out-“  
“It’s fine.” She rushed and wiped a hand over her face.  
“I just, uh…” She looked back at him, the gears inside her head turning.  
“You’re… the doctor around here, right?”  
He nodded hesitantly, folding his hands together in front of him.  
“Well, yes…”  
“How would you tell what happened to me? Exactly?”  
He raised his eyebrows at her and shifted in his seat.  
“Uhm, well. I would start with a blood test, I assume.”  
“Good.” She nodded and let out a deep breath through her nose.  
“Then we’ll start with that.”

***

She sat on a treatment couch. Her legs were swinging in the air nervously since she couldn’t bounce them and her hands were gripping onto the leather underneath her.  
Her heart rate had begun to pick up the minute she had entered the lab.  
His lab, presumably. It was a different one from when she had woken up the first time in this place.  
She assumed it was because there were still too many reminders of the places of her captivity.  
High ceilings, medical equipment, fluorescent light that penetrated her retina…  
Although everything was way more spacious and the walls were not white and cold, but glass and see-though.

“I guess it’s a lot to get used to at first.” He said, his back turned to her as he gathered a swab and splashed some anti-bacterial, clear liquid onto it.

“The real fun begins once you meet all of them.” He smiled sheepishly to himself “They can be a handful, but I’m sure you will grow to love them.”  
He turned around and took her left arm into his hand and she bent it to display the crook of her arm to him. He momentarily stopped talking as he saw the partly faded bruises in the whole area that came from the multiple punctures and pricks of the needles, accompanied by a few tiny, tiny wounds where those needles had actually gone under her skin.

He swallowed and pushed his glasses back onto his nose. It truly seemed to be a nervous tick with him.  
He looked her into the eyes.

“I, uhm… I think it’s better if we take the other arm for now.” He muttered, his voice suddenly very quiet. She nodded.

The right one wasn’t unscathed, but certainly in better condition and he rubbed the pad over her sensitive skin there.

Her heart beat was in her ears by the time she saw the needle and she turned her head as her breathing faltered, then picked up.

“We don’t have to do this right now, Annabelle.” She heard him say, but didn’t look back, just squeezed her eyes shut.

“Anna is fine. Or Annie or something.” She let out a shaky breath “Please just- I want to get this over with.”  
_I need to know what they’ve put inside me._

Bruce heard her unspoken plea and nodded, lining up the needle.

She let out a hiss at the all too familiar pinch. She imagined the blood running out of her in a steady stream and she almost felt like she was going to puke with everything she was holding back. With all those memories wanting to replay themselves in that moment.

Her eyes were closed, yet she suddenly saw a different kind of black filling her vision.  
The kind she had only felt once before, in the other lab.  
Before, her eyes were closed, but she still saw the source of light from above her through her eyelids, but suddenly there was a deeper, opaque shade to it and she tore her eyes wide open at the feeling rushing through her veins and into the needle.  
She was gaping down at it, at Bruce who was still focused on it, but not her.  
She didn’t know exactly why but she was grateful for that, because something felt off and she had a feeling that if he’d been looking, he would’ve seen it too.

The whole room had changed another shade, but not in color. Something else.  
The way she perceived things was different. Everything was.  
The adrenaline made her heart jump and she groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut, covering her hand with them to keep them that way.

“Are you okay?” She felt Bruce’s eyes on her but she couldn’t look at him just yet.  
“Fine.” She gasped, trying her best not to act out the rush that was coursing through her limbs, making them vibrate with needed action and the tips of her finger tingle almost painfully. She had to keep it in, suppress it, whatever it was.

And just as it subsided, settling back into her unshakable bones she heard his calming voice.

“All done.”

She peeked one eye open. It seemed as if everything was back to normal.  
He was holding a tissue onto it, putting on a Band-Aid immediately after.  
Her fingers were still shaking, she realized, so she dug them back into the leather seat.

“You’re pretty pale, should I bring you something? Do you want a glass of water- “?  
“I’m okay, really.” She smiled at him and he eyed her for another moment before he let go of it and her smile dropped again.

“You’ll tell me if you feel or notice any changes, okay? Any whatsoever.”  
He looked at her earnestly.  
“I will.” She replied and jumped off the table onto shaky legs.  
She played it of by swaying her body to an imaginary tune inside her head.

“I will tell you if I see any changes to your system.” He smiled.  
“Thank you, Doctor Banner.” She tried raising her arm to shake his hand, but she hissed when she still felt the sting.

“I guess a fist bump will have to do.” She muttered and used her other hand to bump fists with him. He raised a brow at this, but eventually laughed.

“Alright, Anna. You can call me Bruce, by the way.”  
She smiled back.  
“Thanks, Bruce. For doing this. I’ll… see you around?” She scratched the back of her head. He nodded and sat into his office chair.

“I’ll see you around.”


	13. Back To Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle gets a taste of the everyday life in a house full of heroes and she enjoys that for once the attention is not all on her.

Meanwhile Tony, Sam, Natasha, Wanda and Vision had sat down at the table, chatting and laughing about some unintelligible conversation. Annabelle noticed as soon as she stepped downstairs again, originally walking to her room to try and get her thoughts in order, once again wondering what the hell was going on with her.  
She needed to know what it was as soon as possible and her mind wandered around that thought, but she realized that this would be the perfect opportunity to finally meet the rest of the crew.  
So she took a deep breath and leaned over the handrail to look down at them, but they were too engaged in their talking to even notice her standing above their heads.

Only when she had reached the living area level, their heads started to turn one by one until the room was silent for a second.

“Hello, there.” She heard Tony Stark saying until he suddenly rose up to his feet to walk around the table and shake her hand.  
“So rude of us, we haven’t had the pleasure yet.”  
She returned the handshake despite the sting remaining in her right arm, but she carried it off well.  
“I am Tony Stark, the owner of this residence and everyone’s babysitter, it is very nice to meet you.” He turned her hand in his to press a chaste kiss to the back of it.

She suppressed a shy smile at his words and actions, hearing protest sounding behind him.  
“Oh, please. You’re just trying to impress her, Tony.” The woman with short, red hair said and rolled her eyes at him as she stood up, a sway in her hips as she walked over.

“Don’t believe anything he says.” She smiled at her and laid a warm hand on her shoulder.

“Uhm… ouch? You keep hurting my feelings, Romanoff.” Tony pursed his lips and extended his arms to point at the table.  
“Everybody budge over, we got one more person to squeeze in.”

Everyone was smiling at her, sending greetings over the table.  
“Hi, I’m Sam.” The man sitting next to her said and she shook his hand “Don’t let them intimidate you, okay?”  
“Oh, are you talking about me, big boy?” Tony chimed in and Wanda scoffed, sitting on Annabelle’s other side.  
“I’ll tell you something, they don’t know anything about anything _ever_.”  
Annabelle turned to face her as she heard the girl’s accent. She must be one of the new ones, like that weird-looking man sitting next to her.

“Uhm, excuse me, okay, but do you seriously want to start the pancakes-argument again?” Sam asked the young woman and she felt like she’d get whiplash from turning her head from left to right so quickly.  
“I didn’t start it, first of all. I dominated it.”  
“Oooh, so that’s how it is?” The man laughed in disbelief and the girl smirked back at him.

She looked up behind her, locking eyes with the strange man sitting behind her. Obviously a little too confused because he picked up the reason behind it.

“Wanda, Sam. I think you’re distracting our new guest.” He had a British accent. He looked so human, but also not really. She couldn’t stop focusing on the glowing stone in the middle of his forehead.

They quieted down and Natasha noticed her still-damp hair.  
“Have you already eaten, sweetie?” She asked her and Annabelle shook her head.

“No, I, doctor- I mean Bruce just took a blood sample and it’s better not to eat before that. I think…” She mumbled and held a hand over her band aid.  
Natasha nodded and picked up the bread to pass it over to her.  
She took it gladly.

“So” She continued “You have already met Bruce. I heard you’ve already talked to Steve as well?”  
“Yes. He is, uhm, nice.” Perhaps she was a little overwhelmed sitting between the Avengers.  
“He is an asshole, let me tell you that-” Sam spoke up, sounding almost offended and Wanda giggled.  
“I’ll never run with him again. That bastard runs as fast as an arrow and mocks me for coughing my freaking lungs out while he’s just doing a few more laps like nothing ever happened.”  
“You’ll never get rid of _that_ one, right?” Tony seemed unimpressed as he listened to his story for what seemed like the hundredth time.

“You try racing a super soldier, Stark. I’ll stop the minute you do.”  
“Well, see, that’s the difference between you and me” He reached for the butter, waving the knife in his hand “I’m not a complete moron.”  
Wanda hissed and shook her head, awaiting Sam’s reaction.

“Oh, yeah? Come on, then. I’ll race you any day, old man.”

“Babysitter my _ass_.” Natasha grumbled into her toast as she took a bite from it.  
“I’m glad there’s another woman in the house.” She smirked at Annabelle and she did the same as she saw the boys fighting over who’s a better runner.

Annabelle only noticed him when he was already in the room, dropping down to the seat opposite of her.  
Bucky’s hair was still wet, dripping down his wet strands to land onto the table’s surface.  
He noticed her staring at him and he offered a small smile as he looked back at her.

She lowered her gaze to observe the bread on her plate again.

“You know, somehow you are always late for everything, soldier.” Tony interrupted Sam, attention all on Bucky. He just shrugged.

“Didn’t really want to interrupt your discussion. What was it about again?”  
“Oh, no. Please. Don’t get them started again.” Natasha pleaded. He smirked.

“All right now, which one of us would be faster. Like, in a race.”  
“Just for your information” Tony pointed a finger at Sam “I have very athletic calves.”

“I am sure Mr. Barnes over here would certainly beat both of your asses.”  
Vision said as he picked up Wanda’s plate and she mouthed a thank you.

“Would you look at that.” Tony said, impressed, leaning back in his seat.  
“Mister Switzerland is suddenly taking sides; you know I do not remember planting a certain traitor-chip inside you.”

“No. You gave me a brain.” He smiled knowingly “Which allows me to think logically and therefore make obvious conclusions.”

“Maybe you missed the burn-chip you put inside him. Should I get you an ice-pack?”  
Natasha asked Tony, laying a hand on his arm until he pulled it away.

“I feel betrayed.” He said and stood up as well, Sam almost doubling over with laughter.

Annabelle took a bite of her bread which was smeared with Nutella.  
She was happy they didn’t torment her with all the questions right away, let her calm down, eat and listen to their conversation like they had already known each other for ages.

She couldn’t shake the idea that the only image they had of her was that of her crying and sobbing while she had lain in Bucky’s arms, until he had motioned to them that he had everything under control.  
She still remembered that scenario.  
Or maybe that of one unreadable girl which had thrown people across the room with only her will. They had to know about that after all, those people must’ve told them.  
A girl that was about to explode.

She couldn’t read their minds, but at least they didn’t act like it.  
And for that she was grateful.

She hadn’t realized that she had been staring at Bucky until their gazes met and it pulled her out of her thoughts, looking away again only to continue to feel his eyes boring into her.

Even her subconscious mind found him to be intriguing. He hadn’t told her much about him, but the implication had made it rather obvious for her. Perhaps he was the only other person that understood, truly understood what she felt.  
And not only did she find comfort in that, but it left her curious.  
She wanted to know more.

 

The breakfast had gone smoothly. Her stomach was filled and she felt less shaky than she had before.

She had been searching through the room she had been given, looking for what she could do in her spare time of which she had a lot of when she heard a knock on her door.  
“Come in!” She yelled, sorting through the CDs which were arranged on the shelf above her bed.  
She turned, standing on her bed as Tony opened the door.

“Listen, Anna- can I call you Anna?” He asked as he stepped into the room, hands in his pockets.  
“Sure.”  
“First of all, I wanted to apologize for the drama back there” He pointed his thumb behind him, referring to where they had sat earlier.  
“I hope we didn’t scare you off too much.”  
“Oh, no. Absolutely not.” She jumped off her bed and approached him, still holding a bunch of CDs close to her chest.  
“I was really glad actually that you didn’t act like I’m-” She didn’t know how to put it herself. She sighed.  
“I don’t know. But you definitely didn’t scare me off, to answer your question.”  
She chuckled nervously.

He nodded and the corner of his mouth curled up.  
“We’re having a meeting later in the conference room. It’s… about your case, actually. We’d really like you to come, but remember it’s your decision. If you’re not ready to talk about it yet, we can wait.”  
She swallowed the sudden lump that had appeared in her throat.  
“Will, uhm… has Bruce already checked…?”  
“Yes. Well, he’s still on it, but he said he’ll be done by then.”  
“Okay. Then I’ll be there, too.”

Tony saw her nervous state, her gaze scanning everything in the room, mostly the ground, but not him.  
“Are you sure you feeling up to this, kid?” He was concerned. Of cause he was, everyone was.  
Sure, they were all curious of what they had given her, too. Of what her powers are, but they respected her privacy too much to let that thought get in the way of her healing process.

“I’m good.” She nodded and he nodded back, but before he could turn around she had to get something else off her chest.

“Mr. Stark?”  
He turned around again, raising a questioning eyebrow. She was staring at the ground again.

“I just wanted to tell you how much- how grateful I am that you saved me from them. I know I can’t ever thank you enough, especially since you’ve given me this room. Safety.” She gestured her arms around her, looking at everything.  
“I just wanted you to know that. And- and I’m very sorry for the glass that I broke and I’m sorry I hurt those people… if I could maybe apologize personally- I just didn’t know- “  
“Hey. Hey, hey, shhh.” He stepped closer and interrupted her, taking the CDs out of her iron grip and placing them on the desk beside them. She looked ashamed.  
And he felt so guilty because technically he could’ve saved her sooner.

“You. Don’t even worry about that, alright? I’ve spoken to doctor Cho, her assistant and agent Hill. No one is holding anything against you, kid. You understand?”  
She still stared at the ground hesitantly while her hands opened and closed to fists at her sides.  
Eventually she nodded. Her cheeks were still burning.

“Look at me.”  
She did.  
“We’re all happy you’re here, don’t you assume we’re thinking any differently about that.”  
He laid a hand on her shoulder.  
“We’ll find out what happened to you and work from that. You’re our number one priority right now, okay? Nothing will happen to you here.”  
He cocked his head.  
“After all I built this thing.” He smirked and Annabelle chuckled, sniffing quietly.  
“And please, Mr. Stark was my father. I’m Tony to you.”

He squeezed her shoulder before letting go.  
“Okay, Tony.” She muttered.  
“We’re looking forward to seeing you. Conference room at two. If you have anymore questions, ask Friday or anyone else. They all know their way around here.”  
“Thanks, Tony.”  
“No need to thank me, kiddo. Get back to exploring. I’ll see you at two.”

The door shut behind him.


	14. The New Weapon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Bruce, the Avengers and Annabelle finally find out what influence the serum has had on her blood and body.  
> Wanda decides to give Anna lessons, trying to make it easier for her to control her powers the way she can.

Annabelle confined herself to exploring her room. That included trying to work the stereo, listening to new albums she had never heard of before, watching TV to catch up with the news of the past weeks and reading into a few books that had also been laying around.  
She loved how the room’s interior was already really cozy. Almost made her feel like home.

Hm.  
Home.

Tears had sprung to her eyes at the thought of her mother, probably dying with worry while crying herself to sleep at night.  
She wouldn’t know what had happened to her only daughter.  
Her worst fear was that she believed she had run away.  
She knew she needed to tell her somehow, she had missed her so fucking much over the course of her disappearance.

Asking Friday for directions, she got up at one-fifty to walk upstairs somewhere. She replayed Friday’s voice inside her head.  
_Go to the elevator, drive up three stories, end of the hallway, right turn._

And she did exactly that.

She turned right at the end of the hallway and there she could see through the glass walls that separated her from the conference room.  
And sitting there, alone in a seat while running a hand through his hair, was no other than Bucky Barnes.

She chuckled to herself. Of cause he was.  
She entered through the sliding door and he only looked up at the sound of it, keeping his surprised gaze on her until she was standing beside him, her hands grasping the black leather-backrest of the chair next to him.

“Do you mind?” She asked timidly and as if she had pulled him out of a trance, he suddenly shook his head rapidly.  
“No. Y-You can sit there.” He stammered and cleared his throat as he sat up straighter in his chair.  
She pulled it out from under the long glass table and let herself slump into it, a deep breath rushing past her lips.

“You okay?” He asked her. Her head was leaning against the headrest, turning slowly to face him.  
“Sure. Why not.” She didn’t seem pleased with the whole situation and Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that.  
He fidgeted in his seat uncomfortably, his leg bouncing underneath the table, she could see it.

“I’m sorry, that’s a stupid answer.”  
“It was a stupid question.”  
Her brows drew together in surprise and confusion.  
“No it wasn’t, don’t worry. I guess I’m just not as exited as I should be. I mean… _should_ I even be exited?” She shrugged her shoulders “I think so.”

“You don’t have to pretend.” He mumbled, looking down to his bouncing leg.  
“It’s a strange situation to be in.”  
“Hm.” She answered and turned her head to look at the ceiling again.  
“I am the, uh… what is it again? The thing you do tests on?”  
He turned his head in confusion.  
“Guinea pig?”  
“Yes. I am the guinea pig. People get to look at me to see what their tests have done to me.”  
She sighed deeply.  
“I guess it’s not the best metaphor, but I hope I’m still that old guinea pig I used to be, you know?”  
He nodded. He _did_ know.

“Well, hello there.” Sam said suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows as he entered the room along with Natasha. He looked back into his lap at Sam’s expression.

“Who do have we here? Beauty and the beast.”  
“Oh, fuck off.” Bucky hissed and sent him a glare.  
“Don’t worry, you’re not the beauty. Belle over here is.”  
“Oh my god, that’s actually perfect. She even has the same name!” Wanda squealed as she entered the room behind them, slinging her arms around Sam’s shoulders, making him tumble backwards.

She winked at Bucky as Sam yelled in protest and a tiny smirk appeared on his lips.  
“See, I can literally take you down without my powers, point proven.” She let go of him and quickly grabbed the other seat next to Annabelle.  
“Hey, that was mine!” He whined, but Wanda only stuck out her tongue at him. He grumbled as he sat down at the other end, next to Natasha who had sat down next to Bucky.

Even though they had all proven themselves to be very amusing, in that moment she didn’t feel joy. Her heart was pounding. She was on edge from what Bruce had found out and what he was about to say.  
She nibbled on the nail of her right thumb as her left fingers thrummed on the armrest.

They were sitting so close, the others, lost in their own conversations, didn’t even notice Bucky’s hand moving over to take a gentle hold of her wrist, immediately stopping her actions as she looked down at his flesh hand on hers and then up to his face with big eyes.

“It’s gonna be fine.” He said quietly so that only she could hear it and she nodded slowly until he smiled fleetingly at her and let go as soon as Tony entered the room along with Steve, Bruce and Vision.

Her expression was still that of a deer in the headlights, but she managed a smile as Tony send her one.

“Gather ‘round, children!” He said as he walked up to the end of the long-ish table.  
“And let the doctor speak.”

Bruce stepped beside him and pushed his glasses up his nose.

She tried to tell anything from the look on his face, her cheeks blushing with anxiousness.

“I, I think I’ll start right away.” He stammered and called up an invisible screen floating in the middle of the table and Annabelle leaned back as if it could actually touch her.

“Anna, I’m glad to see you here.” Bruce said and smiled faintly at her. She did the same.  
“I just… I want to know.” She hesitated and she hoped the others couldn’t hear the shake in her voice.  
She _needed_ to know.

He nodded back at her.  
“Well, we’re not going to push you away. We’ll include you in all the knowledge we have on this case.”

Her heart was racing.

“I… I think maybe it’s better if you start with, uh, the enemy we’re dealing with.” Bruce looked at Steve and he just nodded, turning to face her.

“The ones that took you are part of a terrorist-criminal organization called Hydra.”  
He had a concerned look on his face, as if he didn’t really want to expose Annabelle to the ugly truth.  
But the only unknown truth there was, was that she, out of all of them, could handle it the best.

“They were the ones we fought in the second world war and they’re the ones that experimented not only on Bucky, but also on Wanda.”

“They gave us our powers.” She spoke up and when she looked at her, a reddish glow – one that she had only seen on TV before – emerged between her fingers.

“And they wanted them to use it for Hydra’s plans. Control them how they wanted to force their will onto the world.”

The puzzle-pieces started to align and match up.  
Not about her abductors but also about Bucky’s past.

“And you would’ve been their next toy to play with.” Tony said and sat down.

“Nicely put, Tony.” Steve glared at him and Tony shrugged, shaking his head “Tell me I’m wrong.” Steve sighed and continued.

“Hydra has been getting S.H.I.E.L.D’s attention for the past six months. Since they have started…” He seemed like he was hoping to get a little help from the others, but they looked like they felt just as awkward as him.

“…since they have started to scatter dead bodies with a chemical compound in their bloodstream we had never seen before.”

She didn’t know how to answer. There had been others before her. But she always believed that there was a plan behind all those injections, all the brain-shocking…  
Why would they go through it only to kill them?  
It made her realize that if she had been there for just a little longer, she would’ve wound up dead as well.

“They have been working on a way to combine both the serum that made Bucky and I so strong with the one that gave Wanda enhanced abilities.”

“And they have succeeded.” Bruce finally chimed in and the room got quiet once more.

He swiped to the next page with a movement of his hand and in front of them appeared a hemogram of dark purple blood cells with even darker centers, vibrating across the screen.

She has had enough years of biology in school to say that whatever that was, was not normal. Blood cells were red, most likely unmoving, but not quivering like they had a will of their own.

“Your blood sample from earlier matches with the ones they took from the other victims.”  
Bruce explained, but she couldn’t get her eyes off the moving picture.  
Goosebumps crawled over her skin at the sight. At the sheer thought of _that_ filling her veins.

“I don’t know if you saw it when I extracted the blood from you”  
Her head cocked to the side in confusion. No. She had not. She had been trying to focus on not puking with her eyes squeezed shut.

“But it was various shades darker than regular blood. And my theory is that the discoloration of your blood cells is the cause of it.”

Her brows drew together. She was more than just confused at that point.

“But… that’s not the only thing I saw under the microscope.”

Swipe to the right.

“The minute I tried to poke them with a microscopic needle to extract their contents for further research…”

The animation showed the same twitching blood cells with a pointed head approaching one of them.  
They all watched curiously as the needle tried to breach the cell wall, she had seen this procedure a few times before, but the breach never came.

Instead, the blood cell suddenly stained darkly, carbon black, spreading from the inside out and tiny bumps formed on the exterior which formed into tentacle-like arms, starting to wiggle. The movement touched the cells surrounding it and within a fraction of a second it had alarmed the rest as well, turning into the same defensive mess.

Annabelle’s mouth hung open, along with all the other’s.  
Her scalp prickled with shock and her chest constricted.

That was floating inside of her. She had an own, built-in defense mechanism.  
Or whatever that shit was supposed to be demonstrating here.

“What the hell?” Sam blurted out.

“Seriously, Bruce. What is that?” Natasha added, equally shocked.

“This” He said and swiped right once more as the video started to replay itself “Is Hydra’s newest weapon.”

“I’m what?” Panic rose up inside Annabelle’s chest. She clearly looked like it as well.

“You’re not.” Tony interrupted and held up a stopping hand “You’re not a weapon. It’s what Hydra has been trying to change those people into. You’re just the first person to survive it.”

“Yes, of cause.” Bruce added, looking a little ashamed.  
“You- You’re not. They would’ve turned you into a, a weapon, but you’re still yourself.”

“Well, obviously I’m not!” She couldn’t breathe.

“Kid, you need to calm down.” Tony said slowly, cautiously. Realization hit everyone at the tone of his voice. This meeting could go another way if she wouldn’t.

All eyes were on her.

Her face was beet red. She didn’t know what to do.

“You’re enhanced, is what Bruce is trying to say.” Bucky said as he turned around to look her in the eyes.  
“You’re both like Steve, Wanda and I, but also you aren’t.”  
She seemed so frightened.  
“You’re something new and we don’t know what it is yet, but we will. Right, doctor?”

“I, uhm, yes. Of cause.”

He didn’t break eye contact with her once.  
“They would have turned you into a weapon if they had gotten the chance. But they didn’t. You’re here now and that won’t change if you don’t want it to.”

He looked at her, his eyes both calming and piercing with the depth of the blue in them.  
Like the ocean on a stormy day, she thought.  
It did in fact make her calm down. The tingling in her fingertips subsiding and the beat of her heart no longer throbbing in her head.

“Okay.” She whispered and nodded. He smiled at her softly before she looked back at Tony and the rest who were all staring at the two of them.

“I want to help. Whatever I have to do, I will. I want to control… _whatever_ this is.”

“And we’ll help you with that.” Steve said and nodded back at her.

“From what I could tell, your… _self_ … has an own awareness of your surroundings and instinctively wants to protect you from any harm” He scratched his neck.  
“My assumption is that this defense mechanism activates itself through your bloodstream, as we could see as an example from the reaction of your blood cells. Whichever Neurochemicals and hormones are released activate the serum.”

“And now in English, please.” Sam raised an impatient eyebrow. Bruce sighed.

“Extreme emotions trigger extreme response.”

The lab. She remembered what she felt back then. Pure fright and panic and just _fear for her life_. There must’ve been so much adrenaline rushing through her blood that her body consequently reacted.

“We still don’t know for certain what exactly includes said response, but doctor Cho and I will try our best finding that out as well.” Bruce assured her.

Well. That was insightful.  
More than she had hoped for for sure. In the back of her head she had already dabbled with that idea of what could’ve caused the outbreak, but here it was. Her answer served on a silver plate.

“Will she be okay?” Steve asked him.

“I think so. I mean, I – all of the exposed dangers in her bloodstream that the, uhm, serum has caused have either vanished or manifested themselves. There don’t seem to be any major genetic changes except for the mutation… the _alteration_ of what was already there.”  
He cleared his throat awkwardly.  
“What I mean is I don’t see you growing extra limbs… although the treatment did involve a certain level of radiation. Of cause we’ll have to see what the long-term effects are, but despite all your immune system is being very adaptive and your health is recovering incredibly fast.”

His smile seemed earnest this time.

“Could be the influence of the Super-Soldier Serum.”

“Okay.” She mumbled, staring onto the see-through table. That was a lot to process.  
But all in all… _good news, right?_

“I can help you figuring out your powers.” Wanda suddenly spoke up from next to Annabelle. She looked at Bruce, then at her.

“I know what it’s like being in your position and I had to figure it out by myself, but you don’t have to. I know all the tricks on that department.”  
She winked at her and Tony agreed.

“Sounds like a plan.”

***

Her current state had been discussed, further theories on Hydra’s position and plans reviewed and with that, the meeting had ended. Class dismissed. 

“Hey, we can start right away if you want to…?” Wanda asked before she stood up, laying a hand on her shoulder.  
“I, uhm… okay. I mean, I don’t have anything else to do.” She shrugged and stood up as well.

“Great! We can practice in the gym, if you feel comfortable enough. Do you, uh, maybe want to put some gym clothes on?” She asked. Annabelle shook her head.

“No. I mean, I don’t know. Should I?”  
“Whatever you feel comfortable in.”  
She shrugged again.  
“I guess I’ll just… stay like this.” She looked down at herself. Oversized shirt and jeans with socks.  
“I’ll probably need a belt, though.” She groaned as she tugged on the loose fabric around her waist.  
“Don’t worry” Wanda grinned and leaned in to whisper “You can borrow my clothes; I’ve gained too much weight for them anyway.” 

They both laughed as they exited the room along with the others.

Bucky stayed behind, watching the two of them.

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked the soldier and he turned his head around. The doctor was collecting the piles of paper he had brought in.

“I’m fine.” He said and stood up as some of the pages glided to the ground, bending down to pick them back up.

“Oh, thank you.” He mumbled as Bucky handed them over.

“Will she be okay, though?” Bucky asked sheepishly and looked back at the doctor.

He stared at him for a few seconds before he decided to response.  
“Well, I- I surely think so. She really _is_ doing well, all things considered…”  
He hesitated, looking at the papers.  
“We will have to see how it develops.”

“The serum?”

Bruce shook his head, correcting himself.  
“Yes, sure. Of cause. I think, we’ll have to see how she develops as well. I believe the serum and her well-being are very closely related.”

Bucky stood there and listened.

“If, I mean, if she feels bad or, just anything in that manner… unhappy, frustrated, unwelcome… I believe it will show.”

“And what if it’s the opposite?”

“Well… I mean that could surely have an influence as well. Although I’m not quite sure what- how it would manifest itself.”

Bucky nodded.

“Then we’ll have to make sure she feels at home.”

***

“Relax.” Wanda assured her as she went to close the door behind her. The gym was big with high ceilings, long and even parquet dance floor with mirrors on the walls and lots of room to work with.

“I can put on some whale songs...?”

She turned around to her, furrowing her brows.  
“Why on earth would I want that?”  
Wanda let out a chuckle.  
“What do I know.”

She realized it was very silent there.  
Wanda grabbed a mat she rolled down in front of their feet. She figured that all the training equipment and weights must have been located in another gym.

“Come on. Sit with me.” She crossed her legs as she sat down, patting the seat in front of her. Annabelle did as she was told.

“Are… we going to meditate?” She asked, clearly confused.  
“No.” Wanda answered and closed her eyes. Annabelle continued to stare at her.  
“I want you to close your eyes.”  
She rolled them first, but did the same.  
“What are you feeling right now?” She heard her gentle voice, the low whir of the fluorescent light above their heads, a car speeding somewhere on the streets.

“I don’t know. Confused?”

She heard her gentle giggle.  
“If you have to ask me then I don’t think that’s what you’re truly feeling.”  
Annabelle breathed deeply and went into her train of thoughts.

“I feel…” Her head cocked to the side “relieved.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I finally know who did this to me and what it was that they did.”

“What else do you feel?”

“Tense. I feel tense.”

“Why?”  
This was beginning to feel pointless. She sighed, starting to be on edge.

“I don’t know. Maybe because the people that have done this to me are still running around somewhere? Because I can’t do anything about it? Because I don’t want what happened when I woke up here to be happening again?”

“That’s why we’re here. To turn those reasons into productivity. Because you _can_ do something about it.”  
Her words resonated in her head.  
“Because you can control it if you want to.”

“What are you feeling now?”

She looked deep inside herself. Her heart was pounding. Either with Wanda’s hopeful promises or the building hatred for what she was yet powerless.

“Rage.”

A pause.

“Go on.”

Her breathing got quicker, already audible to the both of them.

“I want them to pay.”

“For all that they’ve done to you.”

A pang to her heart as it contracted. She felt it, the sting in her chest and the pull in the back of her throat where a lump was building.

“Yes.” She hissed.

“Good. Stay there. Right where you are now. What do you see?”

Her voice was no longer in front of her, but inside her head.  
She knew what she asked for and Annabelle kept digging, everything else faded down.  
Her hands balled up to fists as her subconsciousness dug deeper; The tips of her fingers had begun to tingle.

She dug her nails into her palms, leaving small, moon-shaped imprints.  
She felt it. The same rush in her veins she had felt back there in the lab, the same that had wanted so badly to creep back up this morning, but this time she let it.  
Welcomed it inside with no fear.

It spread through her chest and she could see it before her closed eyelids. Even darker shades of black winding through her already dark vision. Not like a movement she could compare. Not a snake, no kraken could wind their way through her self that way.  
It felt like a simultaneous tug at her insides, a quivering worm, one tortured with a burning lens. The motions were visceral, out of control.

And it settled in the pores of her skin, gushing out and pooling in the palms of her hands.  
She had to control that haunted creature and it gave in the second she let it in, still moving on its own, but not fighting its occupier.  
This was one vicious parasite.

“Anna!” 

Her eyes shot open and she was looking through the eyes of said demon.  
That was until she felt something else yanking on her brain and she gasped with the sudden sharpness of a headache, clasping her hands above her head and hissing.

“I’m sorry, I had to.” She heard Wanda’s voice, it was so much closer than before.  
She turned around to understand what she was talking about and saw the girl crouched next to her, one hand held close to her temple and in the corner of her eye she noticed a red glow finding its origin from the tips of her fingers.

“What are you _doing?_ ” Her voice sounded raspy and her eyes were burning. Everything looked different. She got her old vision back for some reason.

“You were in it too deep.” Was her only response as the red glow faded away. She knew what this girl was capable of. America had made her stay in said country; a difficult and very public thing to handle. Why? Because of what she was able to do with her gifts.

That’s what they called them, but she knew damn well that it was a burden. One she had been blessed with as well.

“What do you mean?” She rubbed her head, the pain had gone but the question stayed.

“You got to it, Anna. You did it, but…”

She leaned back and sat down.  
“You couldn’t hear me anymore. I saw it dripping down your hands and I warned you, but you didn’t listen. I didn’t want to touch you I, I didn’t know… how you’d react. So I gave you a little kick.” 

“In the brain?” Annabelle gasped.

“Just enough to pull you out.”

She looked around. There was nothing left. Staring down at her palm she only saw the imprints of her nails into her skin there.

“I’m sorry.” She croaked out.

“No! Don’t be.” She let out a chuckle, her eyes wide with amusement and enthusiasm.  
“That was- well, I thought we’d go easy, but that’s not a problem.” She laughed.

“See” She said and gripped Annabelle’s shoulders “You can call it up if you want to. That’s the first step of controlling your powers.”

_The first_ , she thought, _The first of how many?_


	15. Netflix And

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Annabelle bond over their shared Insomnia.

That night she woke up before her nightmare had really begun, leaving her sweating and with a weird feeling in her gut.

And yet again she was not alone as she silently padded down the stairs to the living area.

She let out a breathy laugh as she spotted his form in front of the TV.

“Somehow I always seem to run into you here.” She chuckled.  
Of cause she didn’t know of his half-heartedly set goal to go out of her way for the time being.  
Seemed like he wasn’t really keen on the whole concept as well.

He smiled at her as she approached him. Her short hair was tousled so it looked like her entire head was a cloud of wavy, tangled hair. He had gotten a closer look of her.  
Her hair was either a very light brown or a very dark blonde with a tint of red he saw only in the shine of natural light.  
Her cheeks had sunken in a little since the drastic weight loss, but the plump shape of them was still somehow hiding behind it when she smiled or laughed and her pouty lips curled upwards, leaving the faintest blush on her face.

Her eyes were big and round and someway she always managed to look so innocent. The light shade of grey and green that filled them didn’t help in not making her look like a doll.

He looked back at the television and smiled to himself.

“You sure you’re not looking for me, doll?” He commented and the unexpected nickname spread a heat over her cheeks she hadn’t been expecting. Thankfully, to only the blue-ish glow from the screen, it was too dark for him to notice.

“Well, you’re always taking my spot, so…” She let herself fall down next to him with a huff.

“Oh, I’m taking your spot? Is that so?” He chuckled and looked back at her, but her eyes were trained on the screen.

“Oh yes, mysterious man.” She called him and he shook his head, a smirk still tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“That’s the name you choose to give me?” He asked incredulously.

“You’re calling me doll.” 

“Because it’s fitting.”

“Oh, and _‘Mysterious Man’_ isn’t?” She questioned back and raised an eyebrow at him.

He looked back, his mouth opening as if to respond, but turned back to look at the screen.

She clenched her jaw. She had just managed to make him feel uncomfortable. Great.

“Hey, don’t worry. It can be your made-up name. _‘Mysterious Man’_ sounds pretty cool.”  
She mumbled.

“I already have one.” He suddenly said and cursed himself for his loose tongue around her. Somehow talking felt easier in her presence.

“Oh.” She whispered.

A long silence until she spoke up again, wanting to break the tension.  
She knew it must’ve been one from his previous life. She had picked up as much as to know he had one.  
All of their lives had been divided into _before Hydra_ and _after Hydra._  
No one was who they have once been. Not Bucky, not Steve, not Wanda.  
Not her.

“What do you think would be my code name?”

He turned to look at her, biting his lip, looking concerned.

After a while he let out a forceful breath through his nose, indicating some sort of amusement while he was still not fully laughing.  
“You wouldn’t need one.”

“Why not?” Relief washed over her. He was beginning to lighten up.

“You’re…” He looked at her for another few seconds, looking her over, before he shook his head again.  
“You just wouldn’t need it. Can’t Annabelle be enough?”

“Sure, but where’s the fun in _that_ , huh?” She winked and he let out a deep chuckle.

“What, uhm… what is _your_ name anyway?” She asked sheepishly as the corners of her mouth twitched up.

“James. Buchanan Barnes.” He answered and smiled back at her.

Her small smile turned into a full grin. She extended her hand.  
“Nice to meet you, James. I’m Annabelle Colin Feldner.”  
It dawned on him that they have never been properly introduced to one another.

He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. His was warm, while hers was cold. Her fingertips at least.

“A pleasure.”

She let go of him and laid her hand on her lap.  
“So… why Bucky?”

He shrugged “My mom called me Bucky so it kind of stuck, I guess. Also Steve always called me Buck.”  
He smiled as he thought back.

“Steve?” She asked slowly as her brows knitted. It hit him like a truck.  
Of cause. How could she know.

“Yeah… we uhm, we grew up together…”

She frowned and he saw her contorted face (and secretly finding it adorable).  
“But… Steve was… he was born like a hundred years ago…?”

He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.  
“Yeah, uhm… he was, but me, too. I-” She still looked the same confused as before. This wouldn’t be getting very far unless he’d give her _something_.

“I was frozen, too.”  
And technically he didn’t lie. Wasn’t wrong about that.  
She couldn’t know too much about Steve’s past. Well, his resurrection had surely been something even she couldn’t have missed, but she couldn’t know all the details about his return and he was content with what he would leave her believing in.

Her mouth hung open for a while, gears turning in her head.  
“Oooooooohh. I- I didn’t know that…” She stammered.

“’S fine. I mean, how could you, right?”

“But… how...?” Suddenly there were so many more questions to be answered.  
How come she never saw him on TV, for example. How had she never heard of him before?

But she didn’t want to focus on those questions. She knew it would make him even more uncomfortable than he already was.

“So… you’re how old, exactly?” She asked curiously.

“…Ninety-Seven? Ninety-Eight?” He had to think about that one. Hard to keep track once you’re that old.

Now she was gaping at him. 

“ _What??_ ” She asked, still unbelieving, her eyes wide open.

“I promise, I’m not kidding.” He smirked and saw her eyes light up.

“So you’re literally from another- a _whole_ other millennium?” She asked jumpily. She looked like one of those Emoji Wanda had been showing to him. Literally one big smiley-face.  
But he couldn’t lie, he didn’t _no_ t like the attention. _Her_ attention.

“Yes… wait- aren’t you…?” He asked nervously. He never actually knew the girl’s age.  
“Sure, but not like _you_.” She sighed and continued whispering.  
“That’s so cool.”

He shook his head back at her.  
“Trust me, it wasn’t all great back then.”  
“Oh, yeah, right. You had the war…” She grimaced awkwardly, looking to her left and he let out a laugh at her expression.

“Sure. That wasn’t great. But everything is just a little better now than it was before, you know?”

She nodded back ”I think I do. Well, I can imagine.” She looked like she thought for a second, her eyes rolling to stare at the ceiling before another idea crossed her mind, a mischievous grin plastered on her face.

“Do you have any funny stories about Steve?”

“ _That’s_ what you’re interested in?” He smiled and she nodded eagerly.

“I don’t know a lot about you, so you can start with telling me stories about you.”  
He wasn’t sure whether she meant you plural or singular, but either way, he wouldn’t want to disappoint her.

“Well there was this one time Steve and I went to Coney Island together…”

 

She listened and giggled, occasionally laughed, not wanting to disturb the others’ sleep, as he continued telling her about himself and Steve, their childhood together. 

There was something about her; whether it was her laugh, her smile, the way her eyes glistened as she looked at him…  
There was something about it that made him relax. Feel at ease, at peace with himself and he rarely ever felt that anymore. Not since Hydra.  
He didn’t know how much she had suffered. Perhaps even as much as him, if that could even be possible, but something about her made him forget about all that.

She was that one drug his body didn’t reject and made him float in unconcern, if only for just a while.

And knowing how he knew her pain, she found comfort in him, too.


	16. My Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beginning to settle in, Annabelle is living her busily scheduled life.  
> A make-over is just the right thing to keep her on the right track.

Sweat was running down her neck and face, collecting to drip down her chin.  
Her heart was about to explode out of her chest.  
Everything hurt.

“Say it.” Sam yelled.  
“I’m an unathletic piece of shit.”  
“No! What the hell, Belle. The other thing!”  
Wanda almost doubled over with laughter at her comment and it didn’t help in holding her body up above the mattress as she started to giggle as well.  
“I can do this?”  
“Yes, you can! Exactly, now come on! Where’s that super soldier strength at?”  
Her arms started to give out. She let herself drop to the ground like a potato sack, her arms made out of pure jello.  
She wheezed with exhaustion.

“I haven’t been to the gym in a year.” She gasped out in between intakes of breath.  
“And despite that I did fifty push-ups what else do you want from me?”

“That’s pretty good, though… Sam?” Wanda asked, her arms crossed in front of her chest.  
“She just got back. Take it easy on her.”

It had been more than a week since the meeting in the conference room. The next day Tony had come up with her new schedule and she had been more than happy with that. She finally had something to do.  
Until she had realized that the one thing she had been looking forward to the most, fight training, could only be done until she had at least some sort of stamina and muscle mass, along with a few pounds more on her body.  
The second one had not been as hard, six pounds in one week, but the first had been sheer agony so far.  
At least one person seemed to be enjoying it.

“Oh, come on.” He mocked her as he crouched down next to her.  
“I know that serum is in you somewhere and I’ll get it out of you. I know that, because Steve and Buck always beat me at everything” He stood back up, squinting his eyes mischievously.  
“And I want to see someone else beat their asses if it can’t be me.”

“It’s not my fault you’re slow.” She panted as she rolled over, staring at him.  
He didn’t look amused.  
“You’re my one chance at getting back at them.”

She laughed and Wanda did, too.

“Alright, kiddo. I’ll let you off the hook for today.” He rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand, helping her stand back up.

“But don’t loose hope:”

“Oh, trust me. I won’t. Don’t put too much pressure on me and maybe your dream will come true, wingman.”  
She suppressed a grin.

“Alright, alright.” He muttered as he grabbed his towel and left the gym.

She ran a hand over her burning muscles. After just a few days of working out she could already feel the tissue growing and forming. Not only there, but everywhere else, even in places she hadn’t worked on before.

The serum was changing her body and she had realized it quickly.  
It was hardly unnoticeable.

The weight she had gained could’ve just as well been her newly added muscles.

“You okay?” Wanda asked her. She nodded.

“Just weird how I can already feel the change in my body.”

“Yeah, I know. It can be strange.” She sighed and lightly punched her side.  
“But hey. I still have to watch what I’m eating, while you’re turning back to normal in seconds. You don’t even have to work out all that much, see, your metabolism still makes you even stronger.”  
She laughed.  
“I mean, that was your fourth time working out here and I saw you pick up that fifty Kilo ball over there yesterday. With one hand.”

Annabelle let out a nervous chuckle.  
“I don’t know. It was pretty heavy…”

“Yes, but you still didn’t struggle with it. Not like I would without my powers.”

“Those _are_ my powers. I think. I’m still not sure what else is different. Maybe that’s it…?”

“No, no. Can’t be.” She shook her head, head tilting to the side.

“Maybe you _should_ run with Steve. Just to see. Maybe you can look if you run faster, too. Or maybe jump higher. Maybe your joints and bones are more robust like theirs- “

“Thanks” She interrupted her train of thought “But I think I’ll stick with you for now.”

Wanda grinned back at her.  
“As long as you won’t get stronger than me.”

“You know I can’t promise you that.”

“Oh, we’ll see.” She winked.

***

It was when she was on her way back to her room to take a shower when she literally ran into Bucky.

“Shit, sorry.” He steadied her with a grip of his left hand around her arm as she bumped into him while turning around a corner.  
She gasped as she felt the coldness of the metal on her hot skin and once again she didn’t think of it being that way, that… _metal-y_ , looking down at her right upper arm.  
His gaze followed hers and he immediately let go of her as if she was scorching.

“Sorry.” He whispered, scarcely audible. He was looking down at the ground.

She shook her head, only then realizing how he could’ve interpreted her reaction and reached out for him.

“No, it’s my fault. I wasn’t looking.” She took a hold of his metal arm and he only noticed her touch as she pulled it closer, her hand around his forearm.  
She didn’t want him to think she was afraid of him.

They had hung out over the past couple of nights, the watching-TV-thing becoming some sort of ritual for the two of them.  
And even though she probably wouldn’t admit it, it had meant the world to her.  
She wouldn’t want him to think otherwise.

He pulled his hand back slowly, looking back up at her and giving her a weak smile.  
“You working out?”  
She nodded.  
“Sort of. It’s more like Sam torturing me, but whatever.” She shrugged and gave him a sideway-smirk.  
His own smile softened.  
“And how’s it going?”  
She took in a deep breath.  
“It’s good. It’s… okay. I already feel stronger.”  
She let out a laugh at the thought.  
“Sam said he’s training me so that he can have someone beating your asses.”

“Whose asses is he talking about?”  
“You and Steve.” She giggled, her eyes sparkling “Because you always run faster than him. And because you’re stronger than him… I don’t think he enjoys your mocking very much:”  
“Well.” He smirked “He should try harder then, don’t you think?”  
“Don’t say that! He’s letting it out on _me_!”

He looked her over. Her short hair in the front of her head pulled back into a bun at the back, the rest of it hanging down loosely to reach the top of her shoulders.  
Her face and décolleté were shining with sweat that had dried half-way on her skin.  
With the sports clothes she was wearing he could see how much her body had changed since when he had been carrying it out of that creepy, old warehouse.  
She seemed more comfortable in her skin. Fitter, altogether.  
Her skin had more color too, which was shown by her glowing cheeks.

“I can see that.” He tried suppressing a wider grin. She cocked her head to the side in confusion.  
He cleared his throat and pointed at her with his left fore finger.  
“Your cheeks…”

“Oh. Hah! Yeah, I forgot about that.” She chuckled and laid her own hand onto them, feeling the heat radiating off them.

To his own surprise, she grabbed the hand pointing at her and placed it against the right side of her face.  
Her eyes closed as she puffed a breath through her equally red lips, just as perfused with blood as her blushing cheeks.

“Jesus Christ, I’m literally burning up.”  
She sighed while Bucky stood there in shock, not wanting to move his fingers in case the metal plating would graze or scratch that delicate face of hers.  
He couldn’t _feel_ it per se, but somehow the sudden surprise caused the heat on her face to transfer through his cold, unfeeling hand and onto his own, making his cheeks burn.

“Oh. Sorry.” She held his hand with such care before she lowered his arm and let go.  
“I didn’t mean to be creepy. Your hand is just so cool. Cold, I mean.” She chuckled nervously, brushing an untamed strand of hair behind her ear.  
She just saw his horrified gaze. Eyes not blinking and everything else also not moving.  
“Uhm… Bucky? Are you okay?” She asked cautiously, her brows furrowed as she tried to reach out for him once more, but his reflexes told him otherwise.  
“Fine.” He blurted out as he tried his best to hide his pink cheeks behind the hair falling in front of his face and avoided her touch as he rushed past her, leaving her standing all alone.

She still looked after him as he disappeared as fast as he had shown up.

She realized that perhaps touching him had been a _touch_ too much for him.

Sighing, she turned around to march into her room, leaning her back against the door after she had closed it.  
Her hand went into her hair, but the bun she had made stopped her from getting her fingers through it.  
She ripped it out and hissed as she did not expect such force coming with it.  
She had to get accustomed to her newly found strength somehow.

She was frustrated. And it had everything to do with a certain Bucky Barnes.

Sure, he was a delicate personality to deal with, but so was she. She hadn’t wanted to trigger him in any way and she thought the bonding over watching TV and shared insomnia had somehow made him trust her more, but it had hurt, plain and simple, when he had looked at her like she was fucking crazy the second she touched him. Somehow there had been a certain disgusted look on his face.  
And she felt angry with him and herself.

Her hands felt the rough ends of her roughly cut hair. She hated the feeling.  
She bit her bottom lip nervously.  
Then she pulled off her top and tossed it aside. She grabbed a scissor from her desk and walked into the bathroom.

She stood in front of the mirror, looking at herself.  
From her still skinnier-than-usual form and the sweat-soaked clothes clinging to her body to her blushed cheeks and her piercing gaze.  
Until further up she spotted the haircut they had given her.  
Before it had been long and beautiful, but now?  
Even that they had taken from her and it made her fucking furious.

Now it was just hanging limply on top of her shoulders. No life whatsoever.

Her breathing was erratic and her lip started trembling.  
She didn’t want another episode of this whatever it was, black-smoke-pouring-out-of-me-until-I-can’t-fucking-see-shit-no-more? No fuckin’ _thanks_.

She had to calm down in another way.

She hadn’t realized she had raised the scissors and started to cut strands of her hair off until she actually saw them collecting in the sink before her.

She cut off more and more, her heart still racing, yet no longer due to frustration, but because this was the first thing she had been able to decide for herself in seven weeks.  
And it felt freaking amazing.  
Having her life in her own hands again. More or less. Until she had learned to control the last thing they had given her, but until then this was better than feeling bitter all the time because of it.  
This was better than a once-in-a-blue-moon good sleep. better than lemonade on a hot day.  
_Better than his hand on your hot face…_

She had watched her mother cut her own bangs for years. She hadn’t had bangs since she was a little girl, but she needed something different.  
She was no little girl anymore, but she could certainly steal her younger self’s looks.  
Had looked good back then, why shouldn’t it now?

Didn’t look so goddamn boring at least.

She divided her hair in a sort of semi-circle going from the front top of her head around to the outside of her eyebrows.  
She held the hair in her hand and with a deep breath and a few snips she had it off, her hair still hanging in front of her eyes.  
She cut just a little above her eyebrows. Not too high, but not blocking her sight as well.

She sighed, tension leaving her body altogether.  
She shook her fingers through it, the tiny, loose pieces of hair raining down on her nose like snowflakes.

She looked at herself in the mirror once more. Before and after.  
And she smiled from ear to ear as she liked what she saw.

It didn’t look boring. Her hair was still wild and not cut so straight, her waves seemed even stronger, more defined, as they were not pulled down by all that weight of long hair anymore. She shook her head from side to side just to see them swing with their new freedom, around the sides of her throat.

She nodded, content with herself again. The first time after a _damn_ long time.


	17. Freak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Team learns the painful aftermath of the serum that still has effects on Annabelle's blood and that it can still be very much unpredictable.

Bucky was restless.  
Nothing new, for sure.  
But this time was different.

She hadn’t come out of her room again. Not after he had brushed her off and gone somewhere he could better deal with whatever it was he had been feeling.  
He felt bad _now_ , for what it was worth.

He hadn’t seen her again the entire afternoon, evening, and not even on his outpost on the couch. Nada.  
It made him think that maybe her reaction had been just. Maybe she had just covered it up by saying something nice.  
Although after she had taken his cold hand in hers he had stopped listening.

Why would she ever touch him like that? Like he wasn’t some sort of demon on her left shoulder? He was a murderer, a fucking monster.

_But she doesn’t know._  
The voice inside his head reassured him over and over again.

Oh, but could someone seriously be that naïve? Sure she looked like the sheep that would be the wolf’s meal. And he was the wolf.  
Sam had been right. _Beauty and the Beast._  
But he thought she must’ve guessed that someone with a metal arm could not in the least be innocent.

That’s why he had flinched at her unfelt touch and run away with his tail between his legs.  
He really was an abused dog; definitely not used to a softer touch. Especially from her.

It was when they were all sitting at the breakfast table the next morning that he noticed heads whipping around and staying there, focused on what or better _who_ was going on behind him.  
His head turned as well and his breath left him as they watched her strut along, a knowing smile on her lips as Sam slowly clapped his hands.

“Atta, girl.”  
They were all admiring the new look she had obviously given to herself and the reason for Bucky’s speechlessness was that it, indeed, looked stunning on her.

She sat down between Nat and Bucky and reached for the cereal.

Perhaps she wasn’t angry with him after all.

“Well, would you look at that.” Tony wondered straight-faced, but he winked at her as soon as she smiled back at him.  
“Thanks, Tony.” She mumbled, flattening her new bangs with one hand. They felt so odd, but also good. She needed it to feel a little different.

She poured her cereal into the bowl.

“And they still haven’t found it?” Natasha asked, apparently continuing their conversation from before.  
“N-No, not the base.” Bruce assured her, smearing his toast with butter, looking back at her fleetingly.

“Well, there must’ve been a reason they had moved her around so many times.” Steve said and gave a nod to Annabelle.  
She faked a smile, but internally her mind was screaming again. They were talking not only about her, but about them. About their next mission, perhaps.  
Her heart beat rapidly in her chest, the blood going through her burning like acid in her veins. Her scalp started to itch.  
She didn’t want to deal with it again. _False_ ; she didn’t want to be dealing with it until there was something for her to do against it.  
And it didn’t help that they were talking about her like she wasn’t there.

She swallowed hard. Even that seemed difficult. Standing up even more so as she tried to distract herself by reaching for the milk.

“Maybe they were avoiding their base for a reason.” Bruce said.

“Or maybe they don’t have one right now.” Sam said and Wanda gave him a look.

“You don’t seriously believe that.” It was a statement, not a question.

But Annabelle didn’t notice that. Her head was up in the clouds, or at least it felt like it.  
Lightheaded. The air was getting thinner and thinner up there. And it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

_Drip._

There was a short, crunching sound that made Bucky look to his right and pull him out of his thoughts on the conversation. The others rambled on, not having heard the tiniest sound, the little something that had made the cornflakes inside Anna’s bowl move.  
He wrinkled his forehead in confusion, looking down into her bowl. 

There was one black spot inside of it. It was at the second glimpse that he realized it was not a tiny object, but liquid that had dripped down onto her crunchy flakes.

He stared up at her perplexedly, but that quickly changed into something more like _surprise_ , or maybe _horror._  
Or at least that was the look in his eyes as he saw the girl stand there, frozen like a marble statue, black liquid dripping steadily out of her nose and into the bowl.

“Jesus Christ!” Sam jumped out of the chair the minute he saw it too, which was what made the others quiet down and look back at him first, before following his gaze and knowing what he meant by that.

Their mouths hung open in shock as more and more liquid continued to fill her bowl.  
Her eyes were wide open, her jaw clenching. She looked like she was pleading with them from inside her body with only the look in her eyes, but the rest of her body wouldn’t allow it.

“Abbie?” Bucky asked, sounding scared, before her eyes rolled up inside her head and she began to fall backwards, Nat being the only one to react as quickly as to catch her mid-fall.

His heart stopped and he was frozen as well. Couldn’t come to help her, could only stare at her as her body hit the ground, but thankfully her head was caught by the woman next to her and in a second all of them were surrounding her twitching form.

Her body was shaking uncontrollably, her eyes still rolled back inside her head, they could only see the white of them as she continued to flinch and spasm on the stone-tiled floor.  
He could see that she wanted to scream, but her jaw had locked, no way for any sound to escape between her clenched teeth.

“Don’t!” Bruce yelled as Bucky reached down to try and help her, but the doctor pulled him back.  
“She’s having a seizure. You can’t touch her right now or you’ll hurt her.”

His heart was jumping up his throat with frustration.  
“You can’t just leave her-!”  
“We have to wait until it’s over.”

And so they did. For another thirty seconds straight her body was not responding, until her spasms ebbed away. Bucky was holding her head gently throughout the whole thing, Bruce rushing upstairs to get Helen Cho and the others moved away the chairs around her so she wouldn’t hit her head on them.  
Meanwhile the black fluid had dripped down onto the floor, collecting in a small puddle below her, streaming over her cheeks and mouth and smearing her entire face.

But it was not just dark goo there. Bucky stood closest to her, shielding her head from when she threw her neck back hard. There was something else that he saw within it.

Like opaque fumes coming off of it, the puddle of smear making the slightest movements.  
It wasn’t like anything he had ever seen, the movements like liquid caught on a blasting speaker. Sudden and uncoordinated, yet as if it had life of its own.  
There were thick twists of worm-like body winding from side to side while thin lines of it had begun to rise up, barely even a few inches, seeming to flip gravity in the process because the drops parted from the goo, hovering in the air. Floating right there, in front of his face.  
His mouth hung open. It kind of looked pretty, yet the others hadn’t seen it and that was when Sam moved to grab her after her convulsions had almost subsided, his hand going underneath her, wanting to carry her, but he didn’t get the chance.

Because the second his hand touched the pool of liquid on the ground, it engulfed him. Both Bucky and him were looking down at his hand and the twitching black form winding around it until the next second he was the one laying on the ground next to her, screaming from the top of his lungs while clutching his arm.

“Don’t.” Bucky warned as the others tried to help him, but he wouldn’t let them step close to her or whatever her body was oozing out of its pores.

“Or it’ll do the same to you.”

“Jesus Christ, what is she doing to him?” Natasha asked desperately while clutching Bucky’s arm that had stopped her from getting to Sam.  
He had stopped screaming, but he had started sweating instead. Profusely.  
The black around his hand was gone, yet he was still clutching his arm to his body. He was shaking uncontrollably. Something was hurting him from the inside. Perhaps it really had gotten inside of him, twitching around in there. He looked like it did, after all.

“She isn’t. Not on purpose.” He tried to defend her. Natasha’s gaze was deadly.  
“I know, but she’s doing something, isn’t she?”

They were all speechless.

It was when Annabelle stopped moving that a groan of relief left Sam’s tight throat. Veins had popped up on his forehead. He was still gasping for air.

Her eyes had finally closed. Lying there she almost looked peaceful if it weren’t for the fact that black streaks of liquid had covered her face and that she had just passed out.  
Bucky looked down.  
The liquid was just liquid again. Not movements, no breaking of the laws of physics.

He reached out his hand to turn her on her back.

“Don’t.” Tony hissed as he pulled his arm back.

“Trust me, it’s fine.” Bucky assured him, his metal hand going underneath her front, the soaked shirt and neckline. He knew her seizure was over. There shouldn’t be any danger left for him.  
Of cause he couldn’t know for sure, but there was something telling him that he’d be fine.  
His left arm wouldn’t feel a thing anyway.

And it was. He picked her up, his right arm hooked under her legs as he stood up.

“Get Sam into the lab.” He ordered Steve and he nodded, starting to pick him up and followed Bucky as he knew exactly where to go.

***

“What happened?” Doctor Cho asked as she saw not only the girl, but also another unconscious member of the Avengers being carried into her lab.  
Bruce was already accompanying her there.

“He touched it. The black fluid that was dripping from her mouth.”  
Steve groaned as he dropped Sam onto a surgery couch. There was another one only a few meters next to that one where Bucky had put down Annabelle.  
Bruce stepped closer, whispering to Steve.  
“Do you really think this is a good idea? Leaving her here with him?”  
“I think it’s the only plan we got right now.” He answered without hesitance. Bucky smiled at him. Bruce nodded and turned back towards his two patients.

Doctor Cho was checking her pulse. She opened one of her eyes to shine a flashlight into it.

“She has had a mild non-epileptic seizure, but her pulse is back to normal now.”  
“ _Mild_ seizure?” Natasha breathed out doubtfully as she entered the room along with Tony and Wanda.  
“Yes, that was anything but mild, but, uhm, here’s another thing you guys; The stuff is gone.” Tony said.

Helen had gone over to inspect Sam, doing the same procedure on him.  
“Wha- What-What do you mean?” Bruce asked nervously.

“Whatever was dripping down her nose is gone. _Poof_. Nothing there on the floor anymore.”

“Hey, guys” Helen got their attention, letting go of Sam’s pulse.  
“He’s not doing so good.”

Everyone looked as she pulled up his t-shirt to expose his stomach and the swelling underneath it.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Tony turned around on his soles, pacing through the room.

Bucky felt sick. Sick to his stomach.

“What’s happening, Doctor Cho?” Steve asked, but he had also started to sound frightened.  
They had no idea what… who they were dealing with.

“Internal bleeding.” Bruce stated, continuing to gape at Sam’s swollen chest and belly.  
“Trauma to his liver and spleen, I think.” Helen was looking back at Bruce.

“Fuck.” Natasha hissed and ran a hand through her hair.

“Okay, that’s it. We need to wake her up.” Tony shook his head and walked towards her, Bucky squaring his shoulders in front of him.  
“You won’t hurt her.” He growled and Tony gaped at him in confusion.  
“Of cause I wont hurt her. Bruce? You got any smelling salt?”  
“Actually, we do.” He said and not even thirty seconds later Tony was holding an ampule in his hand, crushing the Ammonia cap open between his fingers.

“If this wont wake her up, I’m not sure anything will.” He pushed Bucky aside and he gave in with a grunt, holding the broken capsule under her nose.

Her eyes shot open and she gasped for air, scrunching up her nose.  
“ _Was zum_ …” She looked around, realizing where she was and that she was speaking German, correcting herself.  
“What the hell?”

Everyone was staring at her as she laid a hand against her chest, a pull finding its origin there, behind her ribcage.  
“What happened?” She gulped, realizing their gazes were filled with both fear and concern.  
Even Bucky’s.

“You don’t remember anything?” Natasha asked as she raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms in front of her.

Annabelle shook her head.

“Memory loss is not uncommon for those who experience a seizure.” Helen Cho said without looking up from Sam whom she was still inspecting.  
Annabelle’s gaze lingered on her for a while, putting the pieces together.  
This woman… she had been there the day she woke up in the Stark tower. She was one of the three she had thrown across the room. Their doctor, apparently.  
And now she wouldn’t even look at her.

Annabelle lowered her head in shame.

“Seizure?” She whispered to herself, staring at the couch padding beneath her.  
“Yes and not only that.” Steve started to explain, but she still wouldn’t look up at them.  
“When you passed out your nose started to…” He was searching for words, but didn’t find any for this situation. He didn’t even know what it was that he was describing.

Her brows furrowed. A hand went to feel the still wet skin under her nose, but as she lowered her hands to look at her fingertips, they weren’t red.  
Because it wasn’t blood.  
Her fingers were inked black. That was the stuff she saw moving in the corner of her room at night. What she saw behind her eyelids while experiencing another phase of unrestrained emotions. The thing that made her blood cells turn dark.  
“What is this?” She asked nervously. Her scalp was itching. She had done _something_ , that much was for sure.  
And she didn’t have to look far for an answer as a pained groan left the mouth of the man beside her.

Sam Wilson.  
A gasp left her when she spotted him, her fingers shaky as she held them to cover her mouth.  
He was floating in and out of unconsciousness, his left hand covering his stomach. His shirt had ridden up to expose the swelling underneath and tears filled her eyes at the sight.

“Sam had tried to help you up, but when he touched that black stuff… he passed out as well.” Wanda explained. She didn’t seem as shocked. She had seen it before on her after all.  
Although she never thought it was this potent, because how could she have known? She had never gotten into contact with it after all.

“It burns.” They heard Sam whimpering from the other side of the room.  
Annabelle jumped off the couch and walked towards him.  
Surprisingly, no one was stopping her. If anyone knew how to make it better it had to be her, _right?_  
He was clutching his left side, the one she was approaching and his groans got louder. 

He was sweating so much; his shirt was drenched entirely. She wiped an arm under her nose that had thankfully stopped running, a black smear left on her forearm. 

The other thing she had noticed was the consistent pull inside of her that had gotten stronger the closer she got to him.  
It was like a longing for something she knew she was missing. Even though she wasn’t quite sure what exactly.

She closed her eyes as if to try and listen, her head tilting to the side.

“Abbie?” She heard the faint call of her name. Bucky seemed to care for it all.  
But with every passing second she did less and less. She had to know what was making her cells press to her exterior like they were being pulled closer by a magnet.

The tingle in her fingertips intensified as she reached out her arm. Her hand was so close to Sam’s skin; she could feel its warmth. But it was not about his skin, but what was resting underneath it. It was waiting for her. To command the next step.  
His cries got louder as she knew it was pressing against his left side of his abdomen to try and get close to her, waiting to finally be reunited with her.  
And suddenly she knew what she had to do.

Her eyes shot open and she climbed onto the couch with him, taking his head in her hands as carefully as possible, resting it in her lap.  
No one called her anymore, no. They were far too hypnotized with what was going on in front of their eyes.  
“I’m so sorry, Sam. It’s gonna be fine.” She whispered and his eyes were looking back at her pleadingly before she looked at the faintest movements underneath the skin of his abdomen.  
She placed a hand there and he screamed.

“Hold him down!” She yelled and Steve and Tony were the closest, taking a hold of his arms as he tried to wiggle away from her touch.

She felt it. It was so close. She knew it wanted out so she let it, moving her hand slowly up his chest.  
She held his head back with one hand and moved the other up further until she felt the bulge of his throat and with one sudden movement his mouth tore open to let the remaining smoke inside leave his body to press into her palm.

He panted and she let go of him as well as the two other men and he turned to his side to cough up more spit and smoke.  
She got off the couch quickly, standing next to him, seeing him pant for breath.

She looked down at her hand, watching the gas-like fluid sink into her pores like dry soil soaking up rain after a long drought.  
And then it was gone.

She looked up and while most of the group was looking after Sam, Tony, Wanda and Bucky just stared at her.  
There was fright in their eyes and it was absolutely new to her, the second time after the first day in the lab that she had ever seen it intended for _her._

It was about the most frightening thing for her as well.

Her hands balled into fists while her eyes filled with tears that steadily rolled down her cheeks.

“Abbie…” She heard Bucky’s voice, suddenly so much closer that it made her flinch and look up at him. He was about to lay his hand on her shoulder when she stumbled away from him, whimpering and shuddering in front of him. She had gotten so small.  
“Don’t touch me!” She yelled, absolutely terrified. He stopped and stood still. She was shaking her head.  
“Please don’t touch me.” She whispered and the last thing he saw of her before she stormed out of the room were her huge, red eyes boring into him.

Perhaps Bucky was a wolf, but maybe Annabelle was no sheep after all.


	18. The Game Changer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can science explain what the hell is going on inside Annabelle's body? Nope. But it can predict that the kind of neuro- and bodily-enhancement she is experiencing is simply otherworldly.

Annabelle collapsed against her closed door, sobbing uncontrollably and clutching her closed hands to her chest.  
What the fuck is wrong with you.  
What the fuck is wrong with you.  
_What the fuck is wrong with you._  
Why you.  
Why you.

_Why you?_

Snot was running down her nose and she wiped it off, a trail of remaining blackness coming off as well. She whimpered when she saw it and stumbled into the bathroom, ignoring her disheveled form and hair and her smeared face.  
She splashed enough water into it to rub it off fiercely. Her skin was burning with the force of her actions. She just wanted it off. She wanted it all gone, was that too much to ask for?  
She had almost killed Sam. And she hadn’t even known it. She had really, really _hurt_ him.

Her heart constricted at the thought because she was not in control of herself.  
She thought this had been something she could use and control, but it seemed like she got it the other way around. It had a hold of _her._  
_It_ was the thing in charge. Not her.

She had injured him; how could she ever have been able to do that otherwise?

A soft knock sounded on the door. She turned off the faucet. 

“Abbie?” Bucky’s voice was muffled through the door and she hastily dried her face with her towel, checking in the mirror if there was anything remaining.  
Nope.  
Only her blotchy complexion, red nose, and teary eyes.

She wiped the hair sticking to her damp face behind her ears.

“Go away.” She said and hugged her arms around herself.  
She couldn’t risk hurting anyone else. She was afraid to let anyone else touch her.

He heard her sniffs coming through the door.

“I’m coming in.” He said and opened the door, facing a terrified Annabelle.  
She shook her head rapidly, stepping backwards as he moved towards her.

“Please don’t.” She croaked out and more tears escaped her eyes.

“You wont hurt me.” He said. 

_How was he so fucking calm?_  
Hadn’t he just seen her torturing his friend into unspeakable pain?  
Was he totally _insane?_

“How do you know that?” She was bumping into the bedframe behind her.  
“ _I_ don’t even know if I won’t hurt you!” 

“Because you couldn’t, okay?” he was still stepping closer, reaching out his left arm for her.

“See. Whatever happens, I wont feel it. Because you wouldn’t want to hurt me.”

She was still shaking, clinging to herself as if to ground herself.  
He didn’t step any closer. Just waited; giving her the opportunity.

And after a minute or so she did, reaching out to feel the back of his icy hand with her fingertips. A breath she had been holding escaped her swollen lips.

Her fingers wandered up his forearm, resting just above his elbow.

“See?” He said happily and the saddest smile appeared on her own lips before her head dropped and she sniffled again.

“I can’t do it anymore.” She cried.  
“All of it, it’s-it’s just too much.” She hiccupped between words.

She was talking about everything. The lack of sleep for the past seven weeks, the change of her body, her mind. She wasn’t feeling like herself anymore.  
She just wasn’t.

His fucking heart cracked at the sight of her. She was the only one in this tower that was innocent, yet she was one of all the people with the biggest burden on her shoulders.  
The biggest responsibility she clearly had not been ready for.

“C’mere.” He whispered and pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her fully.  
She was stiff like a freaking statue, testing the waters. Meaning checking if anything whatsoever happened at their touch.  
But nothing did.  
And so she gradually started to slump into his arms that held her tight, the smell of him hitting her senses once more. That calming scent of home. It was intoxicating.  
His arms and general form were just so broad that she truly felt enveloped by him, his muscles so hard, yet his touch so soft somehow. He was handling her with such care and _god_ , she hadn’t felt that way in so long.

Her fists were bunched up before her face, her forehead resting against his chest. Tears continued to soak his dark-red shirt, but he didn’t care one single bit.

She was still trembling with shock and frustration, he felt it rattling her spine as his right arm was draped around her back and shoulder blades, his hand resting on the back of her head to stroke her soft hair there. 

After a while her muscles finally started to relax, her shoulders sinking down and her arms following, until they found their way around his waist.  
He was so warm. She sighed as her cheek rested on his chest.  
That was when her eyes snapped open. A blush spread across her face.

She didn’t want him to think this was weird; her really relishing being in his arms like some sort of touch-starved attention-whore.

What she didn’t know was that he was the most touch-deprived of them all.  
And he sure as hell didn’t mind. Quite the opposite.  
Her slender arms around him made his chest glow up like he hadn’t felt in a while.

Still, she wasn’t sure if he’d heard her. And since she couldn’t see his face she turned hers to look up at him. Bad idea, since their faces were now closer than expected and it made her take a step back in surprise, masking her shame by wiping the rest of the tears off her face.

“Thank you.” She mumbled, embarrassed by how vulnerable he had actually seen her.  
“No worries…” He said quietly and suddenly the utter silence crackled in her ears, making the hairs on her neck stand up due to the unexplainable and abrupt tension in the room.  
She could literally feel it heating up her face even more.

“Should I go check on him?” She whispered after a short while, not wanting to startle him.  
“Helen and Bruce are checking him up right now.” He talked back equally silent.  
They weren’t breaking eye contact for a second. She nodded.  
“He wont mind if you come back later, though.” He continued and she cleared her throat, looking around her room.

“Do you want me to stay?” He asked, but she couldn’t look at him when she nodded her head yes.

“Alright.” He whispered.

And so he did.

***

“So he’s okay?” Tony asked Helen Cho as he looked back at Sam who was still unconscious.

“He will be.” She assured him “Whatever had been inside him had penetrated his insides. It did look like internal bleeding, but apparently the swelling had literally been caused by _something_ being underneath his skin…” She muttered and looked back at the man laying on the surgery couch. There was no swelling anymore. It had left the minute that thing did. What remained was a slight bruising on his stomach-area.  
“It didn’t cut him open, though. It had been crawling there without puncturing any of his intestines.”  
Tony swallowed hard, the thought making him close his eyes. It made him want to throw up.

“He’s going to be okay, Mr. Stark.” She repeated. He looked back at Wanda who was holding Sam’s hand.  
He nodded and faced her again.  
“Alright. Thank you, Helen.”  
“No problem.”

He sighed deeply as he ran a hand through his hair, thinking.

“Tony” Wanda stood up and he saw a last glimpse of the red glow fading from her fingertips.  
“You know it wasn’t her fault.” She said sternly, raising one eyebrow.  
“I know, I know.” He groaned, rubbing his temple.  
“I’m very well aware of that.”  
“Then what exactly are you up to?” She continued.  
He looked back at her for a few seconds, her gaze was piercing. He knew he couldn’t throw the girl out and he definitely _wouldn’t_. That had not been his first thought, no. 

He knew Wanda was not the only one being protective of her. She has had to live through the exact same thing after all. She would never give up on her because she knew what it was like.

No, he was thinking of how he could protect both the Avengers and Anna from that thing inside her, because at the end of the day, Anna was the one having to deal with it.

“I don’t know.” He sighed, shaking his head and shrugged.  
That was the thing that drove him crazy the most.  
“I have absolutely no idea.”

“I do.” Bruce chimed in. He could be invisible if he wanted to be, sitting on his chair, eyeing her test results for the 20th time that day.  
“Well, sort of I think. I have a theory on what might’ve caused her seizure.” He stumbled over his words.  
“Let her know to come visit me in the big lab.” He said and stood up from his seat, bringing the papers with him.  
“How is she doing now anyway?”

“The moody soldier is looking out for her.” Tony responded. Wanda chuckled.  
“He’s good at that apparently. Two unpredictable forces, isn’t that against the _‘opposites attract’_ rule?” He snapped, but Wanda objected.

“I don’t think so.” She said, shrugging and smiling at the thought “I think he’s good for her.”  
She turned to face him.  
“Did you notice that Bucky has been way more social with everyone since she got here?”  
He didn’t answer.  
“And did you know that she’s also awake at night? Both of them can’t sleep because of Hydra.” Tony looked at the ground, not finding any answers there.

“I’ve seen them hanging out downstairs when everyone else is sleeping because they can’t. And I don’t know about you, but I think that they’re good for each other.”

She thought about how she had always had that feeling of comfort with her brother. Then, after he had died, she had felt just like him. The lonely soldier. Empty. Broken. Lost.

But she had started to feel the same old feeling over the last couple of weeks. She had found it again in Vision.  
And she was positive Bucky had found it in her.

The sliding door opened and Anna and Bucky stepped inside.  
A grin was plastered on Wanda’s face, a concentrated look on Tony’s, and Bruce looking like a lost puppy as always.

“How is he?” She stepped closer to him, evidently worried. Bucky was walking closely behind her. Really, like a puppy swarming around its owner.

“He’s gonna be fine.” Wanda commented and Bruce spoke up at the opportunity.

“Anna, I wanted to do a check-up with you.” He said, walking over to her.  
“To see what caused the seizure. And to make sure it wont happen again.”

“Uhm, sure…” She said, surprised by his comment. She hadn’t even thought about it or that it could potentially happen again.

“Okay, good.” He nodded and looked over to Tony.  
“Let’s go upstairs and we’ll do an MRI.”

***

After taking out her earrings and checking for any remaining metal on her she was ready to go. She laid down on the scanner bed while Doctor Cho put a small, open cage-like structure over her face that supported her head with pads on either side of her face to hold it still and to get the best results possible.

Annabelle saw the woman’s face just before he had put that thing over her.  
She didn’t seem too fazed by it. Or afraid, like _at all._  
Maybe she wasn’t holding it against her after all.

Her vision went dark as she was surrounded by the head-cage that caused the magnetic field to focus solely onto her. Her head, to be exact.  
She had thought that he had wanted to check up her heart or anything like that.  
To be honest, she didn’t know what exactly he was going for. She was no doctor whatsoever.  
But Bruce wouldn’t be doing it unless he didn’t have some sort of idea planted inside his head and so there she was, lying on the table, waiting for anything to start happening.

“Here’s a button.” She heard the woman’s soft voice. She had a Korean accent. 

“You can press it whenever you want to stop, okay.” She didn’t nod, as she couldn’t underneath that thing.  
“Okay.” She said quietly. She felt her press a small device into her open palm, but before she pulled her hand back again, Anna held onto it.  
She couldn’t look into her face, but she hoped she’d get the message anyway.

“I’m sorry for throwing you across the room.” There was silence.  
“After I woke up, I-I didn’t know who you guys were…” She stammered “I was afraid.”

“It’s fine. I understand.” She heard the smile on her face and let go of her hand, relieved by her answer.

Her body was being moved backwards, the upper half of her torso surrounded by the tube-shaped machine itself.  
It whirred and buzzed, along with another few loud noises that were sounding. She felt like her head was in a washing machine, the rhythmic bumps reminding her of it.

She tried to breath as gently as possible throughout the whole process. Just a few minutes that felt way longer and as the sounds died, she was being moved out of the tube.  
She heard Bruce’s voice over the intercom as she pried her head out of that cage-like thing.

“Good job, Anna. We’ve got everything.” He said and with that she jumped off the table.

“It’s just like I thought…” Bruce mumbled and scratched his chin as he looked at her brain’s scan on the screen in front of him.

The door opened behind him as Annabelle stepped inside.  
“What is?”

They all turned to look at her. Bucky, Tony, Steve and Doctor Cho. Natasha and Wanda had stayed to watch over Sam.  
Bruce continued explaining.

“Can you see those inflamed areas of the brain?” He was pointing at the areas glowing yellow and orange. The rest was either green or not glowing at all.

She nodded.

“Those areas, the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex are having an immense stress response, that’s why they’re more affected than other parts of your brain.”

“Meaning what exactly?” Steve asked, his arms crossed. Bruce took off his glasses.  
“You’re experiencing a tremendous influence of PTSD on your Brain.”  
He stated. All their heads had turned to look at her again, but she just continued to stare at the screen.  
She wasn’t really surprised, to be honest. There must’ve been a reason for all those restless nights and panic attacks.

“It’s what caused your seizure and it’s what had a massive effect on your abilities.” He ran on.

“But that’s not all.”  
He clicked on the next page, an animation that showed her dark blue brain illuminated with specks of white, making the whole thing look like an entire galaxy.  
They flashed up, thousands of little lights simultaneously. Every time a different place.

“This… I’ve never seen before.” He mumbled and the animation played on repeat.  
“There are areas in your brain that are being used that… I’m not sure how to say this, they just shouldn’t be active in the way that they are.” He seemed stunned, but at the same time fascinated. The others as well.

“What does that mean?” She asked, still not grasping what he was trying to explain to her.

“The serum has given you a bigger cerebral capacity, as in, those obvious powers you have now are like Wanda’s; unknown territory for our science.” There was a smile on his face.  
“They can manifest themselves on your command. Turn into actual _matter_. You can not only control them, but their effect on others.” He laughed “It’s amazing.”

“Okay, calm down, fan boy.” Tony rolled his eyes “What does it _mean?_ ” Steve sent him a weird look.

“It means that if she’s able to control it…” He sighed, shaking his head “She’ll be more powerful than _all of us_. Probably more than anyone we’ve ever met.”

It made Bucky’s eyes go wide.  
Steve and Tony were speechless as well.

“Ach du _Scheiße_.” She breathed, needing to sit down for a second.  
Bucky grinned, understanding her German cursing.

“Not sure what she said, but yes. Absolutely.” Tony said and chuckled nervously.

“It’s a new era, Tony.” Bruce said and looked at her, giving her a soft smile.

“And she is the game changer.”


	19. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abbie tries to find a way to handle situations back at home while simultaneously dealing with the tension building up between her and Bucky.

After that, the next few days went by smoothly. And somehow she hated the silence more than action.

Bruce explained to everyone how she and her powers are still affected by her PTSD and that they should handle her with extra care, although they agreed on making her continue working out since she couldn’t bear with that decision and had eventually chimed in:  
“What about sports? And Wanda training me?” She was looking around, the other muttering.  
“I feel better with it. I-I know that it helps me. I should continue doing that at least.”

“Fine.” Tony agreed “But we’ll decide any further according to Wanda’s impression of your progress.”  
“We don’t want you getting into something you’re not ready for.” Steve had said and she had rolled her eyes at that.  
She didn’t need to be handled like a freaking baby that couldn’t decide for itself. Never mind take care of itself.

After another nine days of no differences while attempting to get her powers under control, the gas-like black goo still just pouring out of her palms instead of moving where and how she pleased, she has had enough.

The fifth crumpled up piece of paper landed inside her trash-can.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked as he walked past her door. He had started to hang out in her room more often, so it didn’t surprise her. Him dropping by as casually as he did.

“Nothing.” She hissed and it made her close her eyes, realizing that it sounded… well, not like _nothing_. He chuckled at her comment, seeing how her head hung between her shoulders, resting on one hand while her other one scribbled words onto paper.

“You think so?” He continued and she finally looked up at him. His blue eyes were gentle, calming even. Although she was on the brink of frustration and throwing everything across the room. Or maybe she’d just let her inner beast out, _how about that?_  
She’d love to see what it had to say about her room’s interior designing.

“Yes.” She sighed and leaned back in her chair, staring at the blank piece of paper.  
He approached her, so close she could feel his warmth at her back and it made her shoulders tense up, goose bumps rising on her neck.

“I’m just-” She stammered, trying to find words, but it really wasn’t that complicated to begin with.  
“I’m writing a letter to my mom.”

“Oh.” He said. There was no surprise, just realization.  
She needed her to know that she was fine. Fine for now, the rest would come at a better time since she was not entirely sure about how to tell her what exactly had happened and what it did to her only child.  
And apparently it showed since all her previous attempts had already failed.

“Yeah…” She replied. This was getting kind of awkward.

“That’s a great idea, doll.” There it was, _that damn nickname again._  
She hated how much she liked it, although she’d probably never tell him.

She turned again to look at him. He was standing so close and once again, his smell hit her. Parts of her room already smelled like him, because he was always sitting all over the damn place when she was just on her bed, trying to read a book or something. Always around her somehow.  
Sometimes they wouldn’t even talk, but she’d still enjoy his company.  
It reminded her of the dog she had when she was younger. It would do the same exact thing.  
And she couldn’t deny that it was really damn cute.

“You think?”

“Yeah.”

“I still don’t know what to write her, though. I don’t know how to tell her- I don’t _want_ to tell her all this.” She sighed deeply as a lump began to close up her throat “I just want her to know that I’m alive. And I’m fine.” She whispered, her voice suddenly not strong enough anymore “Before she does anything stupid.”

He spotted the shine of a tear on her cheek as he stood above her and his heart sunk a little deeper inside his chest.  
“Hey, doll, listen. She’s gonna be just fine.” He tried to comfort her, his right hand settling on her tensed shoulder, but somehow it tensed up even more at his touch.

“Will it though?” She asked, her arms crossing in front of her.  
“I’ll probably put her at risk with this anyway.” She was waving that blank paper up in the air.  
“Hydra’s probably trying to use anything against me they can find and if I send it to her… I don’t know.” She yammered, her voice sounding like that of a moody child.

“Nothing is going to happen to her.” He assured her. He was lying. He hadn’t though of it before and they were probably still keeping her on their record.  
He realized that she was still living with that constant fear of Hydra. They could still be searching for her, trying to get a hold of her again to turn her back.  
And with what they knew of her abilities, which was admittedly not a lot, it would be a devastating lost that would threaten all of them.  
Her powers though weren’t the only reason.  
He couldn’t continue to live with himself if anything happened to her.

“How do you know that?” She looked up at him, her eyes glassy.

“I just do.” He lied “I worked long enough for those bastards to know their strategy. And they wouldn’t come after her to get to you.” _Wrong._

“You did?” She asked cautiously, her voice very quiet.  
He felt his face get hot and nodded.  
“Yeah…”

“Okay.” She quickly broke the uncomfortable silence “I believe you.”

Ouch.

She wiped the tear off her face and stood up rapidly, her chair pushing into his chest and making him huff.

“Oh, shit! Sorry.” She gasped as he had bent over to avoid her ramming the chair into his groin. Her lips pressed together as she tried not to laugh at the sight of him.

“Are you laughing at me, doll?” He groaned, trying his best to grin at her with the discomfort going through his abdomen.  
“No! No, I’m so sorry Bucky, I swear.” She giggled, her hand going to cover his as he was supporting himself with a grip on said chair.

He looked down at their hands, then up to her face.  
Her tears were gone, a smile spread across her face. Her cheeks were tinted an adorable pink.

Her thumb had begun to rub tiny circles into his skin and he swallowed as he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline go through him that made his heart beat painfully fast.

She bit her lip before she let go again, leaving tingling fire on his skin.

He frowned at her with confusion as she walked past him, turning in the doorframe to face him.  
“I need to go …training. With Sam. I’ll… be back later.” She stammered before turning so quickly it made her hair bounce on top of her shoulders and she hopped away, leaving him confused and with his heart beating in his throat.

***

 _Oh my god._  
Was what went through her head over and over again on her way to the gym. Her scalp was stinging with the rush of adrenaline and she entered the room with cheeks so red it made her look like she had already had a workout-session.

“Whoa. What’s gotten into you, kiddo?” Sam asked, surprising her by already being there.  
She gulped and just shrugged, her voice stuck in her throat for a second.

“Nothing. What do you want from me old man, I’m ready to go?” She mocked him and made him raise a judging brow.  
She stopped squirming on the spot and rolled her eyes.

“’M sorry. I’m just… I’m… motivated.” She came up with.

“Yeah, no shit. Alright, how about you give me twenty push-ups.” 

“What? Come on, I can do better.” 

“I said give me twenty.”

She scoffed, but fulfilled his request, getting back up with her cheeks not any lighter shade of red.

“So, and now you could start off by telling me what’s really going on.” He leaned his back against one of the training machines.  
She huffed, trying to think of something not too absurd to come up with.

“You know; you don’t have to continue training me. I mean I’d get it.” She said and it was not only a nice distraction from the kind of emotion-twisted mess that was really going on inside her. It was also the truth she had been wanting to ask him for since after he had gotten out of bed again.

“Oh, can you finally shut up about that, please? I don’t have to jump around in circles either way, that’s what I have you for.” He grinned at her, a hand holding the side of his stomach.  
She smiled back at him, one brow raised.

“You know that wasn’t payback for you wearing me out, right?”  
He threw his head back and laughed, but immediately groaned and clutched his belly.  
“Don’t worry, I won’t be so hard on you, kiddo. Also I can’t hear your apologies anymore, so shut up and grab that weight over there.”


	20. A Little Bit Of Bucky In My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky doesn't know how to face his feelings for the new girl and so he thinks that ignoring her would distract his mind. Doesn't really help, tho.  
> Meanwhile Annabelle gets wind of what the man truly used to be, leaving the final question open for her to find out...

“Hey, Bucky! Hold on.” Abbie shouted his name, racing down the stairs as she spotted him in the living area, ready to leave the tower for a quick run to the grocery with Steve.

They both turned, seeing her struggling to get down as quickly as possible, thanks to the fuzzy socks on her feet.  
_Of cause she’s wearing fuzzy socks_ , Bucky thought.

“I’ve got one more thing to put on your list.” She breathed once she stood in front of them in her shorts and long-sleeved shirt.  
She looked like she did the first time Bucky saw her. Well, the second… third time…  
The _first_ time she had been herself again. Eating that dry toast while staring at him with wide, frightened eyes and sunken cheeks.

But not anymore. So much had changed within the last… _already a freaking month_ of her being here with him. Them.  
Her face had finally gotten its old shape back. Her body as well.  
There were no more bones sticking out harshly, reminding not only herself of how badly she’d been abused.  
Her skin had a nice, vibrant tone to it. Evidence of how she had truly discovered the rooftop for herself during sunny afternoons, especially while helping out Bruce gardening the small strip of roof garden that Tony had installed there along with a cozy corner where people would gather to watch a movie on the installable projector screen.  
Weirdly, she saw no one ever using it. Especially now, during the summer time.  
She had to look into that.

But until then she just continued gardening with Bruce. She enjoyed his presence. But also she enjoyed mocking him for his _green thumb._  
He didn’t mind.

“Here.” She pressed another small piece of paper into Bucky’s hand.  
He thought of how the last time she had touched his hand she had left a brand mark on his skin. He knew they haven’t touched since because in that moment he felt it again for the first time since then.  
A sharp tingle, yet not uncomfortable.

“You’ll… find it in the, uhm, beauty section…? I think?” She said meekly, an insecure smile on her lips. Bucky looked at her and then back on the paper.

“What do you need it for?”

“Well” She sighed “Tony said I could only go out with an Avenger _and_ a disguise.”  
She chuckled nervously “And I really need to get out of here. No offense. I just need some…”

“Space?” Bucky asked, one brow raised. First of all; he didn’t like the idea of her already going out. Even if it was with an Avenger for protection.  
Second; Why did she need space? They haven’t talked since two days ago, yet somehow he thought it was his fault. Was he being too pushy? Ignoring her personal space?  
Or maybe she didn’t like hanging out with him after all….

“It sounds mean when I say it like that…”

“No, it’s alright.” Steve said with a chuckle.  
“I get it. This is like a living community and once in a while you just need a little bit of distance from it, right Buck?”

He grunted a response, an unintelligible mumbling.

Steve pursed his lips as he looked back at him.

“Right… don’t worry we’ll get it for you, Anna.” 

“Thanks, Steve.” She said, still looking over at Buck in confusion before heading back for her room.

***

“So, what was that about?” Steve asked his friend as they stepped out of the building.  
Bucky simply pulled the hood over his head, put his hands in its pockets and shrugged.  
“Oh, come on, Buck. Don’t you think I know when you’re angry?” He said as they walked along the street. Steve was only wearing a cap. A cap for the Cap. People were still staring. He felt like they all stared at him, though. Like they _knew…_  
But of cause they didn’t. Because there was Captain America walking right beside him.

“I’m not angry, Steve.” 

“Yeah, right.” He scoffed.

“I’m serious.” It was way too hot under that hood and the scorching sun, so he pulled it off. He only needed his arm to be covered anyway.  
“It’s just-” He sighed, looking up at the sky.

“It’s about Anna, isn’t it?”  
The question took him by surprise, although it was.

“What? No…” Steve cocked a brow at him.

“It’s okay, I’ve seen you take care of her. It’s good that she has someone like that, you know?”

Bucky gulped and he cursed himself for the way his cheeks heated up way too quickly. He had nothing to hide so why the fuck was he making this harder for himself? Acting like he did?  
Perhaps he should put the hood back on…

“Whatever you say.”

Steve scoffed.  
“Hey, man. All I’m saying is that you’re good for her.” 

His head whirled back at him, gaze completely horrified.  
“Don’t fucking say that.” He mumbled perplexedly.

“And she’s good for you, Buck.”

He looked away at that, not saying anything while they walked into the next drugstore.  
He instinctively avoided the cameras, having already spotted them.

“I just don’t want her going out when the case is still on-going, s‘all.” He muttered, face still facing the ground as they strolled through the isles, picking up the necessities.  
Tooth-brushes, razors, toilet paper… and whatever was on Abbie’s list.

“You can’t keep her locked up in the tower forever.” Steve said, eyeing the bottle of shampoo in his hand.  
“Perhaps you should go out with her.”

Bucky almost choked on his own spit.  
“Do _what?_ ”

“Yeah. Go out. Take her to the ice-cream parlor, to the mall or something. It doesn’t have to be something big, just a public place. She’ll be happy about it.” He patted his arm, smiling at him. That guy really was something.

“Sure, I-I can do that, I guess.” He was acting like that idea wasn’t making his heart race and he was seriously starting to worry about that.

“Hm.” Steve picked up the last thing on their list. Her list.

“Are you sure _that’s_ what she wanted us to get?” He furrowed his brows at him as he turned around with the product in his hand.

Bucky shrugged and held his hands up in defense.  
“Hey, don’t ask me. I know just as much as you do.” He said, eyes wide.

“Well, okay then…” He shrugged as well and put it into the basket as well.

“Let’s see how it looks on her.”

***

“Wow, okay.” Wanda said and smiled at her as she sat on her bed, cross-legged.  
“Yes, it’s definitely something more Dakota Fanning-like, no?” She asked as she looked her over.

“It’s just another hair color. Nothing world-changing.” She rolled her eyes as she sat down next to her, playing with her platinum-blonde strands.

“Also, Tony said that if I wanted to go out I needed protection and a disguise, so… voila.”  
She grinned and threw it back. She actually kind of really liked it.  
It suited her, made the brightness of her eyes pop.

“It looks good on you.” She said and poked her side, making her squeal.  
“I’m probably not the only one who said it.” She grinned at her mischievously.

Annabelle halted, tilting her head to the side.  
“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on, Anna.” She laughed “Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy having that blue-eyed _soldat_ jump around you all day.”

Her mouth fell open with silent laughter as she felt the heat rise to her cheeks.

“ _Oh_. My god!” She giggled as she covered her face with her hands, shaking her head from side to side.  
Wanda laughed at that.  
“I knew it!”

“Don’t you dare!” Annabelle stifled a laugh, trying her best at looking at her seriously, but failing miserably.  
“You are no one to talk! I’ve seen you and Vision.” She sat up straight in bed, imitating her lover’s voice.  
“Oh, Wanda. There you are. Oh, Wanda, I’m so glad to see you. Are you sure you want to be alone right now?”

Her eyes went wide in shock “What! NO!” She yelled and Annabelle pressed a hand against her mouth, both of them giggling. It felt good to do something as normal as acting like school-girls talking about their crushes.  
But that wasn’t what was happening.  
Or _was it_ …?

“I just enjoy his presence, is all.” Wanda tried to explain herself, actively avoiding eye contact with her.  
“Uh-huh.” Annabelle grinned.  
“Oh, shut up. I know Bucky likes you and you sure as hell like him, too.”  
She threw her hair back as well, trying to mimic her.  
“I’m Anna and I don’t have a dog, I have something better. How about a Hydra assassin who doesn’t talk, but will kill you if you talk to me?” She giggled and Annabelle replied an instant ‘shut up’, before the meaning behind her words hit her.

“Wait… he was an _assassin_?”

Wanda’s smile faded from her lips and she blinked at her for a few times.  
“I mean… yes. Didn’t he- didn’t he tell you?” She asked her perplexedly.  
“No… he didn’t.” She stammered. Her heart rate picked up, an uneasy feeling settling inside her stomach.

“I mean I guessed that it had to be something like that… he told me he had a troubled past, but I thought…” She shook her head in disbelief “I thought he hadn’t _wanted_ to work for Hydra, that he was…” She sighed “I don’t know. More like me, I guess.”

“But… Anna, he didn’t want to work for them.” She tried to explain “He was not… _himself_ when Hydra took him in.” 

“What do you mean?”

Wanda hesitated, looking around the room in panic. Annabelle looked back over her shoulder and then back at her again.  
“Wanda.” She said seriously “What are you talking about?”  
She was clearly struggling to find the right words to explain this.  
“Listen, I really don’t think that I should be the one to tell you this, it’s very personal. Why don’t you ask him?” She said hesitantly.  
“But, I’ve already tried talking about him. He’ll tell me about how he grew up with Steve, what his childhood was like…” Realization hit her.  
“But never about what happened after the war…”  
Wanda looked at her knowingly “Exactly…”  
“But… he said he had been frozen, too. Does- Doesn’t that mean Steve and him went down in the plane together?”  
She had remembered their conversation and later that day she had looked Steve up online. There was everything about him, the crash and all that, but she had found nothing on _James Buchanan Barnes._

“Well” Wanda was fidgeting on the spot “He was frozen, that much is true…”

Anna’s look had changed from confusion to worry.

“Please, Wanda. I need to know.” She begged her friend “I know nothing about him. Not what matters most. I need to know what happened, or I don’t think I’ll be able to trust him anymore.”

That was a lie. She trusted him.  
But she needed to know anyway. It was sick to think so selfishly, she knew that. But she always guessed, but never truly knew; if he knew her suffering. If he understood what she had been through.  
It was seriously fucked up, but she needed to know what Hydra had done to him.  
She was haunted by the fact that everyone looked at her as the fucking victim.  
Wanda and Nat, they had both chosen that life. They had both decided for themselves.

And it killed her, knowing that she didn’t have that choice. That everything she had done in her life had eventually lead up to it being completely destroyed by those bastards.  
She couldn’t handle it anymore. And as god-awful as that sounded; she wouldn’t feel better if it had actually happened to anyone else, but it would tell her that it _hadn’t. Been. Her. Fault._  
That she was not alone.

She stared at her for a long couple of seconds before she finally gave in.  
“Okay, listen. I still can’t tell you, but after Bucky came here, just like… four months ago, Steve told me he got a favor from Natasha. He asked her to get Bucky’s file out of Hydra’s system. Once and for all.” She sighed, rubbing her temple “And as I know Steve, he would only trust himself to keep it safe. So I guess he has it hidden in his room somewhere.”

Annabelle gulped, but nodded her head.  
“You’ll find everything you want to know in there.”  
“Thank you, Wanda. Thank you.” She breathed and pressed a kiss to the girl’s cheek.

“Yes, yes. And don’t you dare tell them you got the idea from me.”

Annabelle jumped off the bed, moving her wavy hair behind her ears as she shook her head.  
“I won’t. Thank you so much. I owe you one.”  
She told her as she stormed out of her room.

“Yes, you do!”


	21. A Little Bit Of Heartbreak By My Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle finds out the painful truth. Turns out she'll have to pay for that at least a little.

When she couldn’t find sleep that night she knew it was because of all the guilt coiling inside her stomach.  
She had tossed and turned under her covers for hours, heart rate already speeding due to the lack of sleep rushing the adrenaline through her veins.  
She felt awful, but knew that she had a plan she had to go through with.

Just another half an hour and Steve would be gone for his morning jog, giving her enough time to search for the folder in his room.

Twenty minutes.  
She heard the shuffling around downstairs.

Ten.  
The hiss of the coffee machine.

Five.  
Footsteps leading to the elevator as she heard the Bing of the button.

And with that he was gone.  
And she was already sweating like on a hot summer’s day.

Jumping silently out of her bed she opened the door, looking for any sign of life on the hallway and beneath her in the living room.  
Everyone was still asleep. Thankfully.

On silent feet she stepped down one floor, the men’s story between the girls’ one and the living area and searched for Steve’s room.

“Come on.” She mumbled to herself, shutting her eyes close to remember the scenes in her head of her spotting him coming out of his room.  
_Now, was it the one to the left or the one next to it…?_

She thanked the universe for having remembered it correctly, the door opening as quietly as possible. Her face was contorted with tension as she stepped inside, slowly closing the door behind her again. Stark had the rooms and walls designed to be more or less soundproof, so she knew she could go ahead without anyone noticing.

She stood there, examining Steve’s room. It looked very minimalistic, the interior. It reminded her of how much his time in the military must have influenced him.

She sighed deeply, her breath shaky, as she thought back to every single piece of Hollywood logic she could think of. She opened the cabinets, rummaged around in the drawers of his desk, between his folded clothes inside his closet…  
Until she spotted the neatly made bed. It looked like straight out of an Ikea-magazine. The fresh linen of the bed giving the whole thing an untouched look. She’d have to be very careful not to mess it all up when she’d lift up the mattress.  
She cautiously sneaked her arm between the bed’s frame, her fingers ghosting over the thin planks until she felt her heart jump at the feeling of something laying across them. Something rectangular with a smooth surface that her slender fingers enclosed and she pulled out what she had hoped for with a breathy laugh, flopping down to sit on the rough carpet floor.

She stared at the light-brown, cardboard-like file. There were a few lines of handwritten text as well as a few numbers and single letters stamped onto it, yet she couldn’t make out any of it, since it wasn’t any language she knew. She was guessing something Russian or East-European and for a split second she thought that perhaps Wanda would be able to read it, until she turned the first page, opening the file and seeing a print of a picture attached to the back of it.  
Her mouth went dry, her scalp beginning to prickle painfully as a shudder washed over her skin that made goose bumps rise up on her entire body.

What she saw, made every intake of breath so much harder, her lungs not wanting to work the way she needed them to.  
Because who she saw on that blue-colored photograph was no other than James Buchanan Barnes.

It was some sort of tank with only a small window to spy through to see his face lying behind it.  
He looked dead. That was the fact that took her breath away. His features were expressionless, his eyes closed and… There was frost… on the edge of the glass.

She couldn’t keep in the gasp that left her tightened throat. 

_“I was frozen as well.”_

Was the sentence that had stuck. And she guessed that now she had finally found an answer, although her subconsciousness had already known that it would’ve been better if she hadn’t.

Something had kept him frozen. For a long, goddamn time. It all clicked.

Tears pricked at her eyes and as her gaze wandered farther down she spotted another, smaller picture through her blurred vision.  
She took it into her hand, marveling at the very old picture of Bucky. It was black and white, with his face on it, looking somewhere into the distance.  
He looked like he was wearing a uniform, the hat on his head confirming her suspicion. 

He looked so different. Her heart clenched at the thought of how much so.

There was a small smile on his lips and she swore that she had never actually seen him like this. At peace. At ease.  
A serious, not-so-sad-looking smile. Not just a smirk at Sam’s joke that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

She suddenly longed for the wish to having met him before… _this_ happened.

She flipped through the pages, every single one written full with letters she had never seen and could not decipher. She skimmed through them until she spotted more pictures.

And had her stomach not been empty before, it would’ve been now at the sight of them.

Nausea flooded her senses and she started to cold-sweat as she saw a picture taken from above, one person looking down at a passed-out Bucky laying on a hospital bed with medical equipment next to his left arm that was merely a stump anymore. Sawn off until right under his shoulder and since the picture was black and white, the pool of liquid under him was black, yet the sight of it still made her throw the folder away as she tried to calm her erratic breathing.

Her hands were shaking as she pressed them against her heaving chest. Her breathing became more rapid, more shallow and she had to close her eyes as a whimper left her tight throat, tears rolling over her face freely. She felt like she was gonna black out.

It wasn’t the flashbacks that caused her to hover on the brink of another panic attack, but the pain she felt in her own limbs at the sight of those photos.  
She could literally _feel_ his pain surging through her.  
And it didn’t give her any satisfaction whatsoever, no. She was certain she had never felt this bad, this fucking shitty in her entire life.

What are you _doing?_ Get the fuck up, go the fuck away and pretend this _never fucking happened._

Her voice was taunting her and this time it was right. More than right.  
That was why she couldn’t understand or stop herself when she noticed herself going to grab the folder in front of her. She had no control.

She flipped through the pages once more and under that horrible picture were a few more. Bucky with his metal arm, attached to tubes and cables.  
Him cowering naked inside a small cell.  
Doctors holding him down while they cut on something on him, while he stared into the distance. _He must’ve found a way to block it out_ , she thought. She hoped.

The anatomy of his metal arm. 

Brain scans.

The last page inside was the only one written in English and she read the words, every single one as careful and slow as if to memorize it all.

_WITH THE NEW APPENDAGE IN PLACE, APPROVAL WAS GIVEN FOR DEPARTMENT X TO BEGIN THE WINTER SOLDIER PROJECT._

Annabelle hadn’t noticed with her hand covering her mouth to muffle her sniffs and silent cries, that the door to the right of her had opened ever so slowly to reveal a blurry figure standing in the doorframe.

She gasped as the movement appeared in the corner of her eye, making her drop the folder and it landed opened, splayed out in front of her. Her head whirled around to see no other than Bucky towering over her, still a few feet away as he looked at her in confusion before his head lowered to see the pictures of himself.  
His gaze lingered there and slowly but surely his expression turned from confusion over to shock, his jaw clenching and his fist closing around the door handle.

She had never felt so ashamed in her entire life. Her face grew hot, the heat smothering her under the hair sticking to her tear-streaked face. 

He still hadn’t looked up to her, his eyes trained on the floor, his form shaking. _With anger_ she presumed and felt new tears welling up. She just wanted to disappear.

“Bucky” She croaked out, her voice wobbly and shaking as well through the lump in her throat.  
“Bucky, I’m so sorry.” she whispered. He didn’t look back up. Just turned around and left. 

Her mouth hung open in shock and terror and it took her a few moments to collect herself, making her legs obey to her will and wiping her nose and her tears away with the sleeve of her shirt.

She got up and stumbled against the door frame, checking downstairs before seeing his closed door.

“Bucky?” She asked, her voice almost back to normal, no longer whispering and also not caring if anyone heard.

“Please, I’m so…” She took a deep breath, trying to come up with the right words through her clouded mind.  
“…So. So. Sorry. Please believe me, I-” She realized he had seen her in Steve’s room and another wave of shame flooded through her and made her toes curl with the shudder of disgust she felt for herself in that moment.

“Fuck, I’m… _ugh_!” She rested her head against his door, the adrenaline not making it able for her to even say a proper apology. Let alone remember the English language, all while her nerves felt like on _fucking fire._

“Bucky, I- I… I fucked up and I’m so fucking sorry. I…” She stuttered and sighed, another tear dropping onto the floor “I had no right to do what I did. And I understand if you don’t want to see me again, like _ever_.” Her voice broke as she stared up at the ceiling “And I get it if you don’t want to forgive me. I just want you to know I’m _so sorry_. I really am.”  
She sniffed and listened for any other sound coming from behind the door. Nothing.

“Fuck.” She hissed and walked off, stepping up the stairs to her room and closing the door behind her only to let herself fall against it until she had slumped down, her arms slung around her knees and face resting against them as she cried freely, her sobs echoing in the bedroom.


	22. My Heart Breaks With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle decides to go out on her own, ignoring Tony's advice. Turns out that perhaps he had been right all along...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a graphic (bloody) scene in here, along with something that could potentially be triggering for some readers (this is where the tag 'Attempted Sexual Assault' comes in so please keep that in mind! That includes the next Chapter as well!

She had lain there for hours, the images haunting her. Her stomach was grumbling from hunger and her face was still sticky with tears, her eyes burning, and her head hurting yet she wouldn’t move.  
Because she knew. Deep inside she had known before she had even peeked inside the folder, but she had told herself otherwise.  
She had thought that if she knew she was not alone, the memories would stop taunting her, but she got it all wrong.

She had needed to know because she hadn’t wanted it to be true _at all._

The truth hurt. A fucking lot.  
And she hated herself even more for doing this to herself _and_ to Bucky.  
What fucking right did she have to read through that stuff. _Personal stuff._  
Those were the actions of despair coming from a goddamn lowlife.

But the worst thing came when she couldn’t get the two words out of her head.  
_Winter Soldier._

Meanwhile she had ignored all calls of her name, telling them she didn’t feel so good and that she wanted to be left alone. It worked, more or less.  
She could still play the pity card and for now that was fine by her.

No, but the worst thing was when she looked up those two words. Seemingly harmless individually, but once put together…  
The world wide web had some very ugly information on hand for her.

The first picture taken of the winter soldier was from 1968.  
On the roof of a building, the photograph taken from underneath him.

A spy. An assassin. _‘The Winter Soldier Pounced again.’_

And all of this on Hydra’s command.

She remembered the chair they had put her into during her last few days of being there.  
They had used that head-shocker thing on her once, shoving a bite guard into her mouth before turning it on and it had been making her scream beyond belief.

She had lost her memory for a couple of hours before it had come back to her again. Where she was and… _who_ she was.

They had the technology. And she was sure as hell that they had used it on him to turn him into their mindless fighter.  
She got so fucking angry just thinking about it. That they had used him for _decades_ for their little experiments. It made her physically sick.

There was so much fucking anger and despair swirling inside of her, making her lightheaded and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to stop it while being cornered in her room.  
She needed to get out or otherwise she was sure it would find its way out.

She washed her face, put on some decent clothes and stepped outside of her room.  
Originally, she had the rooftop in mind, but she realized at the lack of sound that the Avengers had gone out. Either that, or they were just all busy doing whatever they did somewhere else.

She could go out of there and no one would even notice.  
No one would enter her room. No one would question it.

It was still bright outside, yet the sun was already hanging low above the horizon, the golden hour illuminating the space.

She had her hair colored, yet Tony’s words still rang inside her head.  
_‘Only with an Avenger.’_

But there was another, very prominent fact that drowned out the warning.  
She had been behind those walls for way too long and if she wouldn’t find a way out, that thing inside of her surely would.

So she took a deep breath, walked downstairs, and went for the elevator.  
Pressing the button at the very bottom, her heart hammered as she looked outside through the glass separating them. Her hands went into the pockets of her jeans to find a piece of crumpled-up paper there and when she pulled it out, her palm revealed a fifty-dollar-bill.  
A smile turned up the corners of her mouth. Wanda’s jeans. She had given it to her as promised, obviously having forgotten to check the insides of her pockets.  
She put it inside the pocket of her jacket, just to be sure.

She’d give it back to her. But for now it was good to know she had something for emergencies.  
She looked up and spotted the camera, making her lower her gaze and move her hair in front of her face.  
She shrugged off the leather jacket and folded it over her arm, buttoned up her blouse and tucked it into her pants  
She hoped that whoever was working downstairs, didn’t know or pay too much attention to her. She hoped the bit of disguise she had was enough to get her out of there.

_Bing._

The elevator doors slid open and to the left of her was a desk with one middle-aged man sitting behind it while two more men where guarding the elevator itself. She straightened her back, trying to look as official as possible and giving an extra effort to make the heels of her shoes click on the vinyl floor.

“Evening.” She said while giving the man behind the reception a nod. He looked back at her, one brow raised, yet he didn’t complain, merely nodding back at her.

Her heart stuck in her throat as she pushed against the glass door and it wouldn’t open. She breathed in shakily, fixing her smile, before turning around again.

“Sir? The door…” 

“Oh, yes.” He mumbled, pressing the button in front of him to let her out and she stumbled outside, breathing in the… meh. Not so fresh city smell.  
But it didn’t matter!! She was free at last!  
Until she’d return in a couple of hours, but _free at last!_

She looked left and right before deciding to turn left. She thought she had seen the park from above while gardening on the rooftop once. She remembered it had to be located to the left somewhere and so she started walking, following the rough google-maps-y image inside her head.

She walked and walked, past basement-level businesses whose LED-signs lit up the cracked sidewalks. The scent of street-food and gasoline filled her nose and loud music boomed from every window.

And she fucking _loved_ it. She loved seeing the life of the streets, the fashion some of the people had put themselves in. Maybe the catcalling wasn’t the very best, but it let her know that she was _there_. She was alive and well and happy that she still found joy in the simple stuff.

She found a park bench, yet no park, but she couldn’t complain as she dozed off a little, enjoying the rest of sunlight on her skin. The warmth that came with it, the chirping of birds and the hum of waiting cars on the streets many meters away from her.

Strangely, that did it for her as a lullaby, because she crashed out almost immediately.  
To her surprise, really, because the next time she looked up and opened her eyes she saw the streets having become almost empty, barely a flicker of light from the lanterns illuminating her and the dusky sidewalk. 

A rush of adrenaline pierced her, her back shooting up straight in her seat, taking in a sharp intake of breath as she tried to blink herself awake.

Oh, she was going to be in _so much trouble_.

She stood up, her neck and back cracking from the sudden movement and she felt dizzy for a second, having to steady herself with a grip on the bench and she realized that she had still not eaten a thing that day.  
She groaned as she noticed her jacket being gone as well.

“Shit.” She hissed and looked up and through the branches of the trees she spotted a couple of stars already staining the dark sky.  
What fucking time was it? How long had she slept? And more importantly, _where the fuck_ was she?

So, both her jacket and her money was gone, she was fucking freezing as the wind blew air right into her stupid face, and no idea of where she was at all.

This is great. Freaking _peachy_.  
She thought.

She held her arms around herself and looked over her shoulder. Behind her was nothing but darkness, an empty space with a few tall trees that couldn’t really be considered a park, but still made her feel real small and helpless at night.  
No, thanks.

Her heart was pounding as she crossed the street, which was awfully empty and stepped back onto the sidewalk.  
There really was no light, no sound, nothing at all.  
Where the fuck had she landed? Why was there no one around?

But maybe that was good, not seeing anyone walking behind her or towards her…  
She shuddered and slung her arms around herself.

Aside from the occasional screech of tires very far away and the hiss of the neighbor’s cat there was nothing to be heard and it fucking terrified her. It was so empty, almost like an abandoned movie set. Some sort of horror movie for sure.  
She wished to hear at least some people talking, some music playing… Some sign of _life._

But her wish was not being granted and the panic only grew as her paranoia got the best of her, making her turn around every five seconds. She sucked in the air like it had suddenly become thick, almost impossible to draw in anymore and Annabelle stopped as the quiet had become like icy drips onto her already cold skin. Her ears strained to hear through the pounding of her blood.

She turned around slowly, eyes taking in every detail, when a huge figure burst out of the shadow of the alley behind her, grabbing her before she had time to scream and whirling her around to press her body against the icy brick wall of a building.

Her body was stiff from the shock. She knew this was it, this was the promised ambush and the realization made her come back to life, her lungs screaming for air as he pressed his sweaty hand against her mouth. She strained her vocals but nothing came out. Fright consumed every cell in her body, swelling them with terror. With every second she struggled against his front she was being pushed back further, his hand holding her in place, pressing the bone of her shoulder into the stone until it hurt.  
Tears welled up in her eyes as the fear blurred her vision, dulling her senses. She felt the rise of her blood pressure, but knew that this was the least of her worries.

The face inched closer and it was when his reeking breath fanned over her face that she first took a look at the man.  
Stubble covered his face, the grey in it shining from the light of the lantern that made his cheekbones stick out prominently.  
“Don’t you fucking scream.” He growled against her ear, his bristly hair prickling her skin.  
“Or I’ll cut you the fuck open.” He added and she saw the gleam of the knife being wielded in front of her face. 

She gulped as he moved his hand away, reaching back to punch her cheek and she whimpered as she felt the numbing pain in her face, flooding her senses.  
He only grinned sardonically, the yellow of his teeth enough to make her want to curl up in disgust.

“We’re gonna have some fun, slut.”

***

“Hey” Tony said as he walked downstairs, seeing Bucky, Sam and Steve sitting at the table while Natasha sat on the floor in front of Wanda, letting her braid her hair while she read a book.  
“Has anyone seen Anna?” 

“Nope.” Said Sam “She was in her room last time I asked her. She isn’t feeling too good, said she wanted to be alone for today.”

“I tried calling her too, but she wouldn’t let anyone in.” Steve added, continuing his sketches.

Bucky gulped and bit his lip.  
He hadn’t wanted her to feel so bad about herself.  
He had stood against his closed door, listening to her apologies after he had seen her looking at his files.

Had he been mad? Yes. But not as much as ashamed, because that was what he had been trying to hide from her when he ran away without response.  
He hadn’t wanted her to see the heat on his cheeks, her all in tears after she had seen what he had done. What they had done to him.

She had to judge him for that, right? She just had to.  
And he hadn’t responded to her as she had poured out her heart and soul just inches behind him, the closed door having separated them.  
He just hadn’t because he _still_ didn’t know how to respond to such a thing.

“Yeah, well, it’s urgent.” Tony muttered and stepped back up until he had reached Abbie’s door.

“Anna. It’s Tony, I need to talk to you.”

Bucky saw Sam rolling his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

“Anna?” Tony asked again without a response.

“She doesn’t wanna talk to you, man.” Sam yelled and Nat chuckled.

“Friday, can you wake up Annabelle for me?” He asked and they all awaited her response.  
Her response which made everyone’s heart drop.

“She is not in her room, Mr. Stark.”

Everyone looked up and at each other with confused looks, meanwhile Bucky’s heart rate sped up as he sat up straight, looking at where Tony stood.

“What- Where is she, then?” He asked, equally confused.

A few long seconds passed before she spoke up again.

“She seems to have left the building, sir.”

“What?” Steve said, putting aside his pencil and standing up.

Bucky was going to have a heart attack, the first signs of his panic arriving. A discomfort in his chest, a feeling in his brain like excess caffeine until it settled deeper into his bones.

Tony still hadn’t said a thing, which was only pushing him further.  
Tony wasn’t capable of silence unless his brain was in complete overload.  
This wasn’t a good sign.

“Friday, call Happy.” He said suddenly, sprinting downstairs to call up another screen that hovered above the table.  
Wanda had let go of Nat’s hair to leave their spot with her, both of them lingering behind the rest to watch the display and its call to Happy Hogan.

“Come on…” Tony muttered, until they heard his voice on the other end of the line.

“Tony- “  
“Happy, don’t talk right now. Has she come downstairs?” Tony said hastily, fidgeting on the spot.  
Pause.  
“What?”

Tony sighed “The girl, Happy. Has she come downstairs? Did she walk outside?”  
Another pause.

“Come on, Happy.”  
“Yeah, there-there was one girl that came down, but she didn’t look like…” 

“Like the old picture I sent you…” Tony whispered to himself and covered his eyes with his hand.  
“No, she had, uh, white hair, short hair…”  
Tony groaned as he ended the call abruptly and called up the security footage from this day’s late afternoon.  
And skipping ahead only a few moments, they all saw her. In the elevator, staring into the camera before looking down to cover her face with her hair.

Wanda gasped and Bucky stood up with such force, he threw over his chair.  
His eyes were wide, heart racing, brain on fire and all the while he could only think of one thing;  
Her voice, her sobs, muffled behind the closed door. Her conscience-stricken words that hit him right in the chest.

And him not fucking going after her.

He felt sick. He felt it, building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of his stomach.

“Seven Forty-Nine.” He had stopped the image, zooming in on the time stamp.  
“Are you seriously telling me that she just walked out of here without anyone noticing?”

Steve ran a hand through his hair, Sam muttering incoherences while Nat began to walk upstairs.  
“Where do you think you’re going?” Tony asked.  
“I’m gonna get my gun and then I’ll find her.” She replied, but Tony stopped her mid-walk.

“She has been gone for more than three hours, Natasha. She could be anywhere.”  
He huffed as he tipped something into onto the screen of his digital watch.  
“I’ll go get her. My suit has a facial scan.”

“I’ll go, too.” Bucky spoke up as the panic has already engulfed him too much than to make him concentrate on anything else.

“No way, Barnes. You’re not capable- “  
“Don’t tell me what I can’t do.” He suddenly growled back at him, his eyes glaring as his mouth formed a snarl.

“Buck.” Steve placed a hand on his arm, which made him look back at his friend.  
“I’ll go with Natasha, we’ll check the backyards and alleys and tunnels… everything Tony won’t be able to spot from above.”

“I’ll go, too. Can’t scan entire New York City by yourself, can you?” Sam chimed in and Steve nodded back at him.

“Right. But you have to stay here. It’s better that she comes back to you being here.”  
Bucky grunted, but saw his point.

“Where’s Doctor Banner?” He asked and Natasha answered.  
“Upstairs in the lab with Helen and Maria.”  
“Good, good. You guys let him know what’s going on. We’ll need him there.”  
“If something happens, you mean?” Wanda asked, her eyes wide with worry and fear as well, her arms slung around herself.

Bucky’s heart started to beat harder and faster, adrenaline level rising and it was so hard to block out the negative thoughts that his brain had started to fire out like a machine gun.

“Nothing will happen; you hear me?” Steve said, but Bucky couldn’t look him in the eye. He knew just as well she had the highest risks out there.

“Alright. Let’s get going.”

And with that, they were gone. 

And him and Wanda were left to wait.

Ten minutes in and sweat had completely covered his body. It felt like his skin had another hot skin on the outside, like a trash bag being draped over him. Constricting him.  
Suffocating him.

The negative thoughts kept coming like waves on rocks and nothing could stop it, the arguments in his head getting so fast and disturbing that he’d rather have his body shut down completely than to continue this vivid imagery in his head.

He had started to pace around the living room irrationally.  
“That’s it, I’m going.” He said, until he saw Wanda raising her hand and he stopped, following her gaze that was trained on the screen.

The TV was on mute, yet the news showed a woman talking, the headline prominently floating above her head.

His heart dropped. He gaped at the screen.

“Unmute!” He yelled and promptly, the sound was back on.

“- _shook the entire neighborhood, when just one hour ago the local kiosk owner spotted the body of the previously convicted murderer and sex offender Vance Bellick who had just been released on probation after the committed homicide on his former girlfriend back in 2010_.”

The two watched in shock and horror as the woman talked, the heavily censored picture of the crime scene leaving not much to the imagination.  
Bucky’s mouth went dry at the sight of the blurred pictures of blood and… more.

A video of the kiosk owner was being blended in next to the news anchor.

“There was blood everywhere, it looked like he exploded-” He spoke quickly, with a heavy, foreign accent.  
“Like a beast had ripped him apart, there was nothing left- “

_Bing._

Wanda and Bucky turned around at the sound of the elevator door sliding open and out of it stepped the girl they'd been missing.

At the sight of her, Bucky’s jaw clenched, anger and panic making his insides twist.

She was completely blood-splattered and it didn’t take him long to know whom it belonged to. Her shirt had been ripped apart, the shred of her sleeve barely hanging onto the rest of her blouse. Her cheek was shining from being swollen, a big blue dot coloring the skin beneath and he saw the bruises of violent handprints across her throat and wrist.

Burning rage hissed through his body like deathly poison.  
He felt like he was going to explode, like a volcano erupting; fury sweeping off him like ferocious waves. His knuckles turned white from clenching so hard and as he heard Wanda’s gasp behind him, only then was he shaken out of his trance of silent, potent rage.  
Only then did he see the entirety of her broken form, the sadness and shock pooling behind her eyes and the tears that had already washed off part of the blood on her face.

She sobbed loudly, her head dropping between her shoulders and with that his heart had broken fully.  
It took him only a few strides until he had reached her form, his arms wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her close, squeezing her body tightly to his own.

She was shaking and trembling like a leaf despite the hold he had on her and her cries grew louder, her breathing coming jerkily between whimpers and hiccoughing sobs.

“I’m so sorry.” She cried into his shirt, digging her nails into his skin like she was trying to hold onto him for dear life.

He felt his own tears rising up to roll down his face, the ache in his chest leaving him with only the pain of knowing he could’ve stopped it somehow. If only he hadn’t let her leave to continue crying in her own room. If only he would’ve just gone to her and fucking been kind to her…

Her legs started to wobble and she sunk deeper into his chest, but he caught her before she could drop to the ground, once again carrying her in his arms while she clung to him, burying her face in his neck where her tears soaked the skin there.

“Call Doctor Banner.” He told Wanda and she jumped up, rushing upstairs.

Bucky continued to hold her close, shivers still rattling her body while underneath all that crusty blood he felt her soft skin and gently squeezed her closer to let her know he was there.  
“I’m sorry.” She hiccupped, her face still buried in the crook of his neck, a tear rolling down his chin to mix with her own.

“Me too, doll.” He whispered and held her closer. 

He would never let her go again.


	23. Hate Is A Sickness Of The Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her inner demon is something Annabelle has not yet proven to be able to control. Fate thought it'd be a good idea to let her figure that out the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, you guys. This chapter includes lots and lots of violence. There are some _very_ graphic descriptions and I hereby warn you to please not read it if you're sensitive to violence or attempted sexual assault.

Once in the lab, Bruce examined her all while Bucky stood closely by her side, watching the doctor’s every move as he checked her pulse, cleaned her wound on her cheek and her bloody knuckles.  
She was still crying, although quietly, sniffs rattling her frame every now and then, and Bucky’s thoughts had become violent.  
He could see the man’s neck snapping in his mind and it felt good. He could feel his fist smashing into his nose, splattering blood on his metal arm. Oh, what joy he felt at that thought.  
His knuckles turned white from clenching his fists too hard, his left arm whirring with the effort at the sight of the finger-shaped bruises that had manifested themselves on her skin. They were under all the dried up blood that Bruce had mostly wiped away.

Her body was vibrating on the couch, still trembling from the fear that had shaken her core.  
He followed the path of her injuries, the idea of what might have happened becoming clearer.  
He thanked whatever god there was for the fact that her jeans were still intact and because she had been able to _walk_ back to the tower.  
Of cause it didn’t mean that she hasn’t had to _fight off_ a sexual assault, though.

They saw the news. ‘Murderer and sex offender’ was what the woman on the TV had said.  
It has had to be him. The bits and pieces of him still clinging to her clothing, and since he had hugged her so closely to his body, clinging to him as well.

She just sat there, silent tears running over her face. Snivels were the only sounds coming from her while Bruce made sure to bandage her up.

“Okay, it’s all good now-” He started to talk, but Annabelle only looked at Bucky, who had his arms crossed, fidgeting on the spot with his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.  
She ignored the rest Bruce had to say about her injuries, nodding absentmindedly.  
Then she stood up onto wobbly legs, walked into her room, closed the door in front of Bucky’s nose, and walked straight into the shower.

She stood under the way too hot stream of water while letting it clean her skin from all the blood and gore. She stared down for minutes, watching the pink water run down the drain. It didn’t seem to clear up again.  
It had already seeped into her pores and it made her furiously rub at her sensitive skin, tug at the congealed strands of her hair until it all came loose and with another wracking sob she collapsed on the tiled floor of her shower.  
Every atom of her being screamed in unison. She was hanging on a thread, traumatized beyond belief.  
And she wondered if that was just what her life was like now.

Just more and more memories stalking her to keep her up at night and she closed her eyes for a second, leaning her head against the cool tiles while her brain hardly stopped her from reviving the latest events.

***

_“We’re gonna have some fun, slut.”_ He rattled through his throat and with the rapid beat of her heart and the stars filling her vision, she suddenly felt lightheaded until something was beginning to take over.  
It was anger that rose up, boiling deep in her system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction. She felt its twisting and winding starting in her chest and she remembered this feeling, knowing what came with it would, like the lava, be unstoppable and destroy everything in its path.  
She knew it’s too much for her to contain. To tame and handle.

The pressure of this raging sea of hate and rage would force her to do things she had no control over, things she had tried to suppress for weeks at a time. Getting out of everybody’s way before erupting into this furious state.  
Normally she knew the feeling would pass. Standing inside the silent, calm space of her bedroom, sure.

But there was no space. There was no way out.  
Only this man’s sweaty form pressed pressed against her that made her want to kick and scream, feeling the hard press of his erection against her hip and the only thing she felt besides the panic making her visceral, was the pure hate coloring her insides and her soul. It spread though her system like a network of poisonous spider web, filling her up to the brim until she felt it streaming out of her pores.

She gritted her teeth from trying to remain silent, her face red with the effort of holding it back until it washed over her in tidal waves, shutting down all other feelings and becoming the only goal.

She blinked once, twice, and she felt her vision changing, her focus concentrating on her one and only prey.

She still felt the change in her subconscious mind, saw the reflection of two black orbs staring into his eyes, and his grimace faded, along with the nasty thrill of anticipation she had seen glimmering within. He let go of her abruptly, her hunched form exuding an animosity that was like acid; burning, slicing, potent.  
_Deadly._

But that time was different. She knew what she was doing. She didn’t watch it through a spyhole in the back of her mind, locked up until she had the upper hand again.

She was the upper hand. And she was screeching a demanded release in the form of violence, engulfing her moralities and she didn’t care _one. Single. Bit._

She hadn’t even swung her first punch yet and she saw the man that had been towering above her only ten seconds earlier, humping against her like some fucking mutt, now all but a quivering heap.  
How _weak_ he was.

The adrenaline gave her the power and it felt so fucking good.  
He couldn’t control himself? Fine, then _I shall control you._

“You filthy” She stepped closer “Fucking” Another step. He had fear written all over his face, his back pressed against the brick wall in front of her “Piece of shit.” She hissed and closed her fist.

She lunged out and felt the crack of his jaw underneath her knuckles, along with his shrill yell ringing in her ears. It felt almost orgasmic.

His form started to slump, both of his hands holding his shattered jaw, but she grabbed the fabric of his jacket covering his shoulders and just dug her nails into the taut muscle underneath and with one twist of her torso and a steady stance she used all of her force to whirl the man against the wall behind them.

His cries and whines had been reduced to whimpers.  
But this wasn’t cruelty, no. This was mercy and justice combined.  
She would be doing the world a huge fucking favor and she would not rest until he had been beaten. Not just beaten down. That, she had already accomplished with the snap of his bones. She meant dead.

She didn’t need him to suffer, just needed to see the opacity of his cornea. The blue-white haze inside his pupils that appeared after death.

Anyone else might have thought that she overreacted, but his mistake was that he had underestimated.

The opaque and dense gas-like shape that poured out of the palms of her hands and her fingertips felt like a relief as it had been built up underneath her skin, begging to finally be freed.  
And with her hand pointing at him, her fingers twitching and twisting like they themselves were the creature that found itself a way inside of the gasping body, entering through his nose and mouth… She knew it was her.  
Whatever that was, it had become a part of her, since she could feel the ripple of his throat, the slimy inside of his lungs, the raspy breath that tried to force itself inside, make space where there was none, more blackness already occupying it.

But it felt not enough. She didn’t need him to suffer.

So she made a downward motion with her hands gesturing as if they clawed at the air, another rapid gush of coiling strands followed after, more and more filling the man’s insides.  
His belly swelled, his chest expanded. The veins in his eyes had popped like balloon snakes, his sclera filled with blood as he stared into the sky above him while her telepathic commands wriggled their way through his insides, goring through him like a red-hot dagger and making his lifeless form jerk from the inside out.

She did not notice the lack of space in the already dead man’s body, nor did she flinch as it burst open to make more room for it, popping like an overripe watermelon that had hit the pavement.

She felt the splatter of hot blood on her skin, felt it soaking her clothes and the skin underneath. The stench of iron hung heavily in the air due to the ripped-open cadaver that was splayed out on the moist and cold ground. 

Her vision had turned back to normal and the second time she took a closer look at the scene, the lynching in front of her, there was no more hate flooding her senses, numbing her feelings and clouding her mind.  
It was just her, the girl from the small-town.  
The girl who had cried when she had stepped on her dog’s tail, the one who caught ladybugs and freed them outside instead of squishing them.

She walked backwards, out of the alley and down the street. She wasn’t stopping for anyone, her lungs quickly filling with icy air, her chest constricting with the sight still resting in front of her eyes. Her clothes and hair stuck to her skin.

Was it blood or sweat or a mixture of both?

Her skin felt like it was roasting, the sting in her legs prominent, but she didn’t dare stopping. Running and running away from that nightmare.  
Running until she had found back home.

 

She laid into bed, her skin still burning with the ferocious scrubs she had made it suffer through.  
She had stopped crying some time after her flashback in the shower.

She knew that the worst part about what she had done was not that she did it, or even how wrong, how so against all of her morals it had been, but that she had _enjoyed_ it.  
She felt an unspeakable disgust for herself, a dirtiness on her skin she couldn’t rub off, no matter how much she tried.

And it only made her curl up under the covers, hoping to flee from this devilish side of her that the serum had called up.  
Or had it been inside of her _the whole time?_

She couldn’t think of it or the images branded into her memory forever.  
She just needed this horrible day to end, _was that too much to ask for?_


	24. Help Me Help You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's and Annabelle's bond strengthens. He's starting to let her get closer to him and Abbie feels free like she never has before in her life.

She fell. Her limbs were pudding, useless as she tried to grasp at anything, but there was only darkness. She was paralyzed. Naked and cold. She was blind with the cold air hitting her face, accelerating faster and faster. She knew she was falling, but after an infinity she felt like floating and not falling at all. Not anymore.

Until her body had hit the ground and she flinched hard, her muscles twitching her awake from the nightmare, staring into the darkness of the room. 

Her heart was jumping in her throat and she coughed, clearing it from the scream stuck back there.  
But there was something more. Either a voice that still screamed in her head or a real one, both seeming so far away.

She listened intensely, the throb of her blood still in her head, but then she heard it again.  
In this intense silence she somehow heard a faint yell. She felt her eyes widen and her pulse quicken even more. The scream was twisted with pain as it came again, desperate, terrified and… human. And closer than expected.

Before she was even aware of making a conscious decision her feet had already hit the ground and she followed the sound.  
She had no clue what she’d do once she got there, she just knew that she needed to get there fast.

Adrenaline surged through her veins. Stand or run. And she didn’t want to be a coward.

The blood drained from her face once she stood in the hallway, realizing the origin of the sound came from right beneath her.

Bucky’s room.

It made the hairs on her neck stand on end and her blood run cold. Loud and piercing, something she had only ever heard on herself after another injection and it ignited some primeval pathway that led her swift feet to his bedroom door.  
She opened it once the last yell had subsided and with the handle shaking under her palm she entered the room.

He was laying on the bed, his covers kicked halfway off his body, only covering his waist and one leg that was entangled in the drenched sheet. His naked torso was covered with a sheen of sweat, glistening in the soft glow of the moonlight shining in from the window.  
He laid there, his face closing in a grimace, his skin pale and clammy. He looked like he was suffering, feeling _actual pain_ and she didn’t even want to know what kind of dream he was living through.  
He groaned, his eyebrows furling, going quiet, just panting. His fists clenched the sheets with blanched knuckles while his nails dug deeply into the fabric.

She closed the door behind her quietly, watching his heaving form writhing on the mattress and she stepped closer, standing above him while her hand reached out to touch his wrist. The cold feeling of it against her fingertips reminded her, making her realize that he wouldn’t feel a single bit, so her hand sneaked further up, running along the shifting metal plating, right until the scar tissue that separated machine from flesh.

His eyes snapped open, and Annabelle gasped as his arm shot up from its previous position, unmoving and still, wrapping his icy fingers around what was touching the skin of his shoulder and squeezing down hard enough to make her shriek.

Her heart thudded like a rock rattling in a box, blood draining from her face as the pain pervaded her entire arm, eating at her stomach enough to rise nausea. Her other hand came down to clench her hand around his arm and she saw black spots starting to fill her vision.  
She panted, cold sweat starting to drip down her chin as she saw black pouring out of her palm, slowly winding tentacles of smoke along the length of his metal arm and she tried to close her fist, but his grip on her wouldn’t allow it.

His stare was blank, staring through her instead of at her and she cried out as he squeezed harder, the blinding pain numbing her senses and she fought furiously against the waves of her power waiting to breach through her skin, wanting so desperately to protect her from whoever it was harming her.  
She wouldn’t allow that. And even through the pain she managed to keep the demons at bay, slowly sneaking their way back into her pores and body to settle into the marrow of her bones.

“Bucky” She panted, still holding onto his metal arm for dear life, trying to make him look back at her and he did at the call of his name.  
“Bucky, it’s just me. Please, please listen. I’m here, I’m here. I’m here with you.”  
She whined, but the arm wouldn’t budge.  
“Bucky…” She held a violently shaking hand against his damp cheek and she spotted a flicker of something else in his eyes, pulling him back from the place he was now, to make him let go of her so abruptly as if her skin was made of hot lava.

He gasped loudly and Annabelle collapsed on the floor, moaning with relief as she clutched her hand to her body.

“Abbie.” He panted, looking down to find her sitting there and she looked back at him with watery eyes, a smile still forming her lips through the stinging.  
He jumped up and out of bed, crouching down to kneel in front of her.

“Abbie, doll… _fuck_ , I’m so sorry.” His heart felt like it was going to explode.  
“It’s fine.” She chuckled, the fingers of her left hand twitching to get the blood running in there again.  
“What- Why would you do that?” He yelled with panic in his eyes. He was worrying too much, she thought.  
“You woke me up. You were screaming, Bucky. Like you were in pain or something. I- I couldn’t let you…” She stuttered and shrugged, the movement making her clench her eyes shut with pain.

“I’m taking you to doctor Banner.” He said bluntly and stood back up, but she reached for him with her injured hand, the movement of closing her fingers around his wrist making her want to jump up and yell, momentarily making her see only white before she shook her head, pulling him back down to sit next to her.  
“See?” She said shakily, pulling her hand back “It’s not broken.” She sighed “Also Bruce deserves one day without me calling him every few hours… I think he has done enough for me today…” She said and he paused momentarily, looking her down in her pajamas consisting of sleeping shorts and a tank top. Her skin was littered with bruises, especially her arms and he realized with both anger and self-hatred that along with the marks of her attacker he has left some of his own.  
He reached out to hold her wrist in his right hand, not letting the other one come near her again.

His touch was so gentle as he held her hand in his to examine the outer damage, since there was not more for him to do. He was not the doctor after all.

“I’m fine, Bucky.” She repeated and smiled up at him.  
“I hurt you, doll.” He whispered and stroke a finger over the red fingerprint “I could’ve killed you.”  
“Me too.” She replied to his surprise. He knew it was meant as a joke, although he realized she was right, a knowing smile playing on her lips.  
“But, hey. We both didn’t and I swear I’m fine.” She laughed, an attempt to lighten up the mood.  
“Okay.” He said, yet still didn’t believe himself. He felt horrible and she knew. She always knew.

“Thank you for helping me earlier.” She said, changing the focus to something else.  
“And sorry for shutting the door in front of your face. I just… I didn’t feel so good and just wanted to be alone, kind of…” She mumbled.

“Hey.” He said, making her look back up at him “You don’t have to explain anything. I- I get it.” He stammered and let out a chuckle. Out of all people he was the one that should know best. The difference was that now she knew why.  
He knew he wouldn’t have been able to keep it away from her forever.  
He had just hoped for a better opportunity, a better way to tell her instead of her finding his folder.  
That was the opposite of delivering the message gently.

He spoke up after a while.  
“Do you still have that folder?”  
Her face as she looked back at him was one of horror. She clenched her jaw.  
“Yes.” She whispered, clearly not knowing what to say, how to react and how to tell how he felt about the whole thing he had ignored her for earlier that day.

He nodded, thinking.

“Do you want to burn it?”  
Her question was soft, gentle, yet her eyes were burning as they bored into his, a mischievous glare hiding behind them.

She always knew the right things to say.

***

The air itself was not cold, yet the wind almost icy as it blew into her face with fierce gushes.  
Goosebumps had risen on her skin and she slung her arms around herself to try and warm up a little bit.  
When she looked over to Bucky, he had thrown over a t-shirt, still wearing his sweat pants he had gotten into bed with.  
His hair was messy from having tossed around all night, yet it still looked pretty as it framed his face nicely. His stubble had gotten longer, too.  
It looked good on him that way.  
The flicker of the fire emerging from the installed pit on the rooftop illuminated his face in a soft, orangey shade.

“Are you sure?” She asked sheepishly, stepping next to him and closer to the fire.  
He had the folder in his left hand while his right one dangled next to her, opening and closing his hand to a fist.

“Yeah. I’m sure.” He told her and her gaze followed his, into the light and in the corner of her eye she saw the movement of his arm as he threw the file into the flames.  
The edges turned to black while the paper bent, quivering under the fire’s touch.

She didn’t look away from the brightness hurting her retina when her injured hand reached down to find his warm one, her fingers cautiously grazing the back of it, testing the waters, before intertwining their fingers.  
She gave his hand a squeeze and after a while he responded, yet not only to her touch, but to everything.

The relief he felt at the sound of the folder’s crackling, the sight of the ash floating above their heads.  
Her being with him and letting him know through the unspoken morse code she used through their touch.

She wasn’t surprised when she heard him sniff, his hand tightening around hers to keep whatever was longing to get out inside and she felt a sting from the grip he had had on her earlier.  
But she didn’t flinch away from it. She welcomed it even, the sharp prickle making her heart race.  
She wanted to feel the pain as long as it was him causing it.

Her head turned to the side, catching a quick glimpse of the glistening tear sliding down his cheek before she leaned in, closing her eyes, and pressing her lips onto the soft material that covered his shoulder, placing a lingering kiss there.

The fire had transferred from the pit in front of them, into the confined space of her belly. But whatever grew there brought no destruction, but it did quite the opposite;  
It created something new. Or no, it sparked off something that had already been there.

A feeling that grew hot as it spread into her chest, making her feel warm despite the freezing breeze.

And they stood there, grounding each other, until any evidence had been wiped from existence, turned into dust that the wind swiftly carried away.


	25. A Seat At The Cool Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle still needs to talk to Tony after what had happened.  
> A series of (un)fortunate events follow...

She hadn’t seen Tony in two days and she was absolutely terrified.

The others had seen the news and had simply assumed what had happened after hearing from Wanda what she had seen that night after the girl had gone out by herself.  
Bucky told them it was self defense and they didn’t even think otherwise, yet she hadn’t told him about the incident as well. He didn’t know. He just assumed.  
But he was still protecting her fiercely and she appreciated the gesture.

Though, she also knew that an assumption wouldn’t be enough for him.

“Hey, Friday?” She asked and the gentle woman’s voice immediately responded.  
“Yes, Miss Feldner.”  
“I thought we’ve been over this. Please call me Annabelle or Anna or anything else.”  
She said as she rolled her eyes, standing up from the office chair in front of her desk.  
This would be good. She had to confront him at some point and found it a good idea, going to him first instead of avoiding him like a dog with its tail between his legs.  
Although it really felt like maybe he was the one dodging her.

“Of cause, Annabelle. How can I assist you?” She said calmly and the girl smiled.

“Where can I find Mister Stark?” She questioned. A pause.

“Mister Stark is currently unavailable.”  
Her brows furrowed.  
“How’s that?” 

“He is in a meeting right now, but I will contact you as soon as he’s free again.”  
Nuh-uh. It had to be important, the way she didn’t even explain it any further…

“Who is it?”

“I’m sorry, but this is classified information.”  
Oh, that’s how it is?

She had started with a clear conscience, but now she was curious. She needed to know.

“Thanks, Friday.” She said absentmindedly and heard her joyful _‘You’re welcome’_ on her way out the door.

 _‘Classified information’_? What is that even supposed to mean?  
She knew something was up when she walked upstairs to the conference room, sneaking up to the point where concrete walls met the glass ones and tried to spy through the milk glass, only seeing silhouettes moving around the room. She wasn’t sure about how many, so she stepped to the side a little, trying to walk past the transparent door without attracting attention.  
But the hiss sounded the second she walked past it, making her stand still in shock as the door slid open, revealing the room which had indeed multiple people sitting at the lengthy table. They were all dressed in very official clothing and they all quieted down as they stared right at her, like she had caught them slandering her.

“Uhhhhmm…” She hesitated, a blush searing through her cheeks, suddenly feeling awkward, demure, and coy. Every single pair of eyes were looking at her after all, everyone awaiting a reaction or response like predatory beasts.  
They had caught her spying for sure.  
She guessed they were agents, so they did have to had seen her, right?

She brushed her hair into her face to mask the blush, yet her rosy cheeks shone through the strands and gaps in between.

“Hello… I- I just wanted to talk to, uhm… Tony…” She was stuttering.  
“Is it- it’s not a good time…?” She asked, again starting to loose control over the English language. When her mind panicked she couldn’t concentrate on keeping her thoughts, and with that her words, in English.

“Actually, we were just wrapping this up.” Tony snapped. He seemed angry. And of cause she immediately thought it was her fault and to be perfectly honest, why shouldn’t he be?  
He had all the reason to be.  
He was the one supposed to be protecting her, trusting her to keep inside, and she broke that for a breeze of fucking fresh air.  
That had eventually turned into her murdering someone. 

Was it self-defense? Yes. But that doesn’t count, does it?  
She had killed someone under his watch. She _should_ suffer the consequences for that.

But as she looked away from him in shame, another gaze caught her eye. Another gaze that bore right into her, the man’s appearance in combination with his expression so brutally intimidating that it gave her goose bumps.  
She looked him back into the… _one_ eye her had. The other one was covered with a patch.

He was wearing a leather coat and a shirt beneath it, both black, both adding to his frightening aura.  
There was no question. He was the man in charge. The way he emitted power and influence, the way his one-eyed stare broke her down in seconds, making her look at her feet awkwardly…  
He was the guy.

“Fury and the seven dwarfs had just decided to go home.” Tony swatted his hands around, clearly on edge.  
It gave her all the more anxiety.

The older man quit looking at her to look back at Tony. He took his time, like he had all in the world. He was calm, but highly focused. She couldn’t get the measure of him.

“We will call you, Tony.” He looked back at Annabelle, his eye quickly scanning her, flicking down to her bruised wrists and arms, the fingerprints around her throat “At a better time.”  
And with that he stood up, all of the agents mimicking his actions as they marched through the door, making her jump aside.  
She watched them head for the other end of the rooftop, the one with the landing spot for the helicopters.  
He walked out of the door at last, slowing down as he walked past her, towering over her the way vision did. Taller than Bucky and taller than Steve.

Her gaze lowered immediately, flicking back up uncertainly, knowing he was still looking at her, but unlike her, he didn’t break the stare.

“I’ll see you around.” He said and she was unsure whether it was meant for her or Tony standing behind him.

He walked out behind the rest of the crew and she let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.

“What?” Tony asked her out of the blue and her head snapped back at him.

“What?”

“You came here to ask me something?” He clarified and she cleared her throat.

“Yes, right. It was about the letters for my mom, but… Tony-” She walked towards him.

“I need- I want to talk to you about what happened. I want you to know.”  
She sounded almost hysterical, clearly on edge as well.

“Okay.” He said after a while and half-leaned, half-sat on the table, crossing his arms.

She took a deep breath.  
“I don’t know why I walked out of the building. I really can’t remember anymore. I- I think I just felt like I was gonna go crazy without some space. Not from you, but from everything. I know you said I could only go out with someone, not by myself. And I knew that. But to be honest, I didn’t care.” She was nervous. Her voice was shaky.  
“I’m not sure why, either. So I went down to find a park or something and I just sat on a bench and…” Her blush intensified “Then I fell asleep. And I woke up like an hour later I think… but it had already gotten dark outside and then I wasn’t sure which way to go to find back home.”  
She caught herself calling this place the ‘h-word’.  
“And then I was walking and this man pulled me into an alley.” She gulped and closed her eyes for a second, the image of his yellowish teeth right in front of her face, almost making her gag.  
“He tried to… do… something to me. Then he punched me. And after that I- the memory is… not so clear.” She tried to focus, she really did, but the memory seemed so far away by now. It was all shrouded, like in a haze. A murderous one.  
“I know what I did. I knew- I knew it when I did it. While I did it I mean.” Her heart was pounding.  
“But I didn’t… care. I just didn’t. I just wanted him… gone. Away. From me.” Her voice broke, but with nervousness.  
“I still remember that I controlled it. The thing inside of me. Well, it is me, but I never knew how to control it. But when I-” The words felt so ultimate, hearing them out loud.  
“When I killed him. I knew what I did to him while I did it. I could’ve just killed him like that.” She snapped her fingers.  
“A- And the thing is that I could have. In that moment, I knew how to. But I didn’t just do that, I really, really… I _murdered_ him.” Nausea rose up inside her, all the way from her stomach until she felt it in the back of her throat.  
“Jesus Christ, I murdered him.” She whispered more to herself than to him.

She felt the tingle in her nose as water started to fill her eyes.  
She had really killed someone.

“And I hate myself for it. I- I don’t, I’m not saying that I- I could’ve gotten out of there without killing him. Well, I don’t know that. Not for sure. He was just touching me and I just-” She sobbed “I just wanted him to stop.”

“Hey, kid.” He said, stepping closer, resting both of his hands on her jerking shoulders, her entire form shaking due to her suppressed cries. She didn’t want them all to just see her crying the entire goddamn time. So pathetic.

“I’m not blaming you, okay. Literally no one is.” He sighed “Well, maybe S.H.I.E.L.D, but Fury can mess with me if he has something to say about you.

Okay. She… didn’t quite get that.

“Huh?” She sniffled, looking up at him with doe eyes.  
_How_ was she even capable of doing anything evil at all? He wouldn’t think she was capable of simply hurting a fucking fly. She probably wouldn’t have been. Not before the serum, anyway.

“Nick Fury. The guy with the evil eye and his little gremlins following him around wherever he goes.” He explained. Yes. She could hardly forget that face.

“He is the head of this global security agency who we kind of… work with.” He ran a hand through his hair, giving her a shrug and a smile. It only confused her more.

“They helped getting you out of Hydra’s claws, but of cause they wouldn’t just do that without further requests.”

“Wh- What do they want from me?” She stammered.

He ran his hand over his face “It’s not… okay. I’m laying the cards on the table here. They want you to join us.”

“…Who?”

“Us, the Avengers.”

“…Wh- Excuse me, _what_?”

“Yeah, yeah. They tend to be sort of dramatic.” He rolled his eyes “Although that is usually _my_ job.”

“I…”

“I know. Fury told me he’d come by a few days ago. Then they got wind of the alley-thing, which, by the way, is not being held against you. I imagined that something like that might have happened and I am truly sorry, my dear.” He gave her a hug, yet she was still too shocked to respond properly.

“And trust me, they’re not here for the lowlife-scumbag that fortunately kicked the bucket, but they’re here for their weekly check-ups. They wanted to know what you did and how you did it and the most important thing; if you know how to control it.”

She took a step back, wiping away a tear.

“So I told them to fuck off and, well… you saw the rest.”

“I’m still not really understanding…”

“Oh, they want to know because they want you to be an Avenger. And they want you to be an Avenger because you could become the most powerful being we have probably ever encountered. And they want you to be on their- _our_ side once it gets to that point. I told them they had nothing to worry about.”

“But I still killed a man.” She whispered ruefully “Don’t they want to hunt me down now?”

“Hunt you down? What do you think this is? _Hunger Games_?” He raised one brow at her, chuckling as she shrugged.

“But to answer your question, no. It just should never happen again, they made that very clear.” He scoffed.

“And kid, you better listen to me next time I tell you something like that. It’s for your own protection. Okay?” His tone had gotten more serious with her. She gulped, nodding.

“Good. Then I am sorry to inform you, but you’re not gonna get rid of us soon.” He winked at her.  
“Oh, and- “He raised his arm and she flinched as it landed on her left shoulder first, until he moved over to tap the other one.  
“I hereby knight you. Congratulations. You’re now officially an Avenger.”


	26. Once Upon A Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie Night with the gang. Yay.

“Nope. I don’t think- No. That’s… I think that’s too much responsibility for me. How do I get out of this?” She hastily stuttered, trying to calm herself down. She sat on her bed, cross-legged, while a certain long-haired soldier was laying on his back across the foot of the bed.  
His hands were resting on his chest and he had a small smile playing on his lips.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do I amuse you?” She asked, resting her hands on her hips and Bucky didn’t even have to look over at her to know the look she was giving him. 

“Actually, yes. You kind of are.” He laughed, making the bed shake.

She tried to suppress a smirk at that.  
“Well, I wanna know how you reacted then when you got asked to be a freaking _Avenger_.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but they’ll probably never ask me.”

She looked down at him, his gaze still directed at the ceiling.  
“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

She sat up straight, continuing to eat the twizzler she held in her hand.  
“Well, that’s just bullshit.” She mumbled.

“I doubt it is, doll.” He sighed and turned his head to the side to look at her.  
“I’m still unpredictable to them.”

Annabelle threw her head back to let out a laugh.  
“ _You_ are? Oh, come on! I thought that would be my job by now.”

“Shit.” She said as her eyes widened with realization, her back shooting up straight again.  
“I think I won’t ever be able to send my mom those damn letters.” She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut.

“What?” 

“I went to Tony to talk about my letters” She groaned “And to see who he was talking to.” She mumbled almost inaudibly, making the corner of his mouth twitch.

“He was there with those agents from S.H.I.E.L.D or something and there was this tall guy with an eye patch and they were talking about me apparently because they stopped talking once they saw me and then they left and Tony asked me to become an Avenger and, believe it or not, it made me forget about those damn letters.” She yammered and leaned her head back against the headboard.  
“Well. I guess I’ll have to think of something else as a birthday present.”

And just like that Bucky was sitting straight up in bed, his eyes widening almost comically as he stared at her speechlessly.  
“Oh! Oh, right, yes. Because- because you’ll be…”

She cocked an eyebrow at him. He was clearly struggling, fidgeting on the spot.  
She snorted in disbelief.  
“How _old_ do you think I am, Bucky?”

The tips of his ears that poked out of his hair had already turned a bright red.  
“I-I… Maybe, I don’t know, I mean you could be…ei- nine-…” He stammered and she bit her lip at the adorable sight of him, letting him off the hook.

“I’m twenty.”

“Right... right.” He stuttered, clearing his throat uncomfortably as he scratched the back of his neck. 

She threw her head back and laughed. The sound made his heart open up despite the awkwardness he was feeling.  
“Don’t worry, I still get asked for my ID if I want to buy a bottle of beer, so…”  
She shrugged, taking another bite out of the twizzler.  
“Oh, and by the way, in Germany you can buy beer when you’re sixteen. _That’s_ always very embarrassing. Although my friends think it’s pretty funny.”

Bucky still stared at her; gaped at her.

She chuckled nervously at the sight of him, getting a little confused; she didn’t know what he meant by that look.  
“I, uhm- I was just kidding about that birthday thing. I know that 21 is sort of a big thing here, but I’m good. Without… anything, really.”

He shook his head suddenly, coughing slightly.  
“No, I am… I- “ 

A soft knock sounded and they were both too absorbed in their own conversation that they didn’t even notice Natasha having left her own room next door to walk past hers on the hallway, stopping there a second just to watch the two of them talk.

They were so deep in conversation, they hadn’t even noticed her standing in the doorframe, which she found to be really cute. Her eyes lit up when she looked at him, a smile playing on Annabelle’s lips as well as Bucky’s.  
She knew how much they meant to each other and it wasn’t the first time she thought about them eventually becoming just more than friends.  
In Nat’s head, it really fit. He would finally get out of his shell and she would have someone to help her though everything. _Or perhaps the other way around?_  
Anyway, she thought they were pretty cute together, despite them actually being together or not.

“Hey there, lovebirds.” She spoke up and smirked at Anna. 

“Nat!” She squealed and threw a pillow at her “You… you have one- one, some perverse ideas, you. Standing there like a creep.” She muttered, but couldn’t even hide her red face behind another pillow. _Pretty damn cute_ , Nat thought. Bucky gave her a half-judging, half-angry look, yet his cheeks were pretty pink as well. 

Pretty damn cute.

“Anyway. We’re having a movie night downstairs. You can come if you want, keep the rest company.” She offered and her perfectly plucked eyebrow raised suggestively.

“Sure, uhm… we’ll be down in a minute.” Bucky said and moved his hair behind his ears.

“Awesome. Oh, and by the way, Sam’s picking the movie tonight, so… I’d prepare for anything.”  
She winked and left the two of them alone.

Bucky looked back at her after Natasha had left and when he did so, the corner of his mouth twitching, Annabelle couldn’t keep in the giggle she was holding back.  
Her infectious laughter made him join her too, until they had to stop to catch their breath.

“You seriously called Nat a creep.” He chuckled.  
“Well, only because she was being one.” Anna wiped a tear from the corner of her eyes, continuing to let out little fits of giggle every now and then.

“Whatever. I want to see what Sam picked out, come on.” She jumped off the bed, making it bounce a little, holding out her hand for him and he eyed it quickly before the fingers of his right hand wrapped around her forearm, careful not to touch the bruises he and that prick had left there.

He stood up with her help, looking down at her flushed cheeks after she let go of him to run her hand through her wild hair. It was really wavy today. Frizzed too, due to the humidity in the air. She had been working on the sunny roof top, gardening next to Bruce for hours and it showed, her arms and chest sunburned slightly and the freckles on her face as prominent as never before.  
She looked beautiful like this.

She let out a soft chuckle as she looked back up at him and there it was, the brightness in her eyes and not only the color of them, a mix between grey and green with a brown ring just around her dilated pupils.  
It was the way she looked at him that made her eyes sparkle and made him feel like he was worth being looked at that way. Like she _meant_ it…

She took a step backwards as she cleared her throat, heading for the door as his gaze followed her.  
“You coming?” She asked and he nodded, walking down the hallway to the stairs next to her.

“You know, I just found out there is a new horror movie called Annabelle.” She groaned as she massaged her forehead with both her fore- and middle finger.  
“And it’s about a haunted doll.”

“…So?” Bucky asked and looked back at her as she fiddled with the hair tie that was wrapped around her left wrist.  
“You call me doll, Bucky.” She rolled her eyes back at him.  
“So what.” He laughed as they reached the men’s floor “Don’t you like me calling you doll?”

“No! I mean, uhm, I do-” She blurted out quickly, making him bite his lip to suppress a grin. She cleared her throat, acting like she didn’t care all that much.  
“It’s alright.” She shrugged.

“Uh-huh.” He hummed, a shit-eating grin on his face and she punched him in the side the second she caught a glimpse of it. Damn, she really _was_ getting stronger every day.

“What do you want to be called, then?” He questioned and she shook her head.  
“I don’t know. It depends. My mom always calls me Annabelle when she’s angry with me, you know.” She explained. Bucky grinned.  
“My friends always called me… everything. Like, all the nicknames possible. Anna, Bella, Ellie, Annie… I do admit my name is very adaptable.”  
“It sure is.” He chuckled “So, do you mind me calling you Abbie?”

“No. Not at all.” She replied, a heart-warming smile flashing over her face “Actually, no one’s ever called me that. It’ll be unique, like- “

“Belle!” Sam yelled the minute the two had entered the living room. The rest of the team had already found their seats on the couch. Nat was sitting on the other end with Bruce sitting next to her. Their feet were resting on the extra ottoman that gave the sofa a right angle and rectangular shape. Next to them Tony, Steve, Vision, and Wanda who was waving at Anna, a big smile plastered on her face.  
Of _cause_ there was a big smile on her face, Vision’s arm was _draped around her shoulders for crying out loud._

She smirked as she saw her pointing at the small space between her and Sam, who was still yelling her name.  
“Hey, Belle! Guess what we’re watching!”

She didn’t have to think for long, stepping around the corner to see the cover of Disney’s ‘Beauty And The Beast’ on the big TV-screen.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She rolled her eyes at Sam.

“Where the hell am I supposed to sit?” Bucky complained as Sam pulled her by the arm until she fell on the only seat left between Wanda and him.

“You can sit over there.” Sam suggested as he pointed at the dinner table located multiple feet away from the television.

“Come on, let’s start this goddamn movie, I still have work to do after this.” Tony sighed as he looked at the two men.  
“Don’t make a scene.” He said towards Bucky and he let out a huff as he pulled the cushion from behind Sam’s back.  
“Hey!” Sam yammered and Bucky flipped him off. So much for ‘grown men’.

“Sorry.” She mouthed as Bucky’s gaze flicked over to her, but he only responded by letting the cushion drop in front of her feet, groaning as he sat down, resting his body against the end of the couch. 

His body was leaned against the end of the couch indeed. Right. Between. Her. Legs.  
His head resting between each side of her knees.

She gulped and her eyes widened as heat rushed to her cheeks at his bold action. It wasn’t really bold; no one would think it was _that weird_. Not necessarily. Just… friends chilling.  
But Wanda knew otherwise as she felt her poking at her side.

Anna swatted her hand away almost aggressively, seeing her sardonic smile going from ear to ear. She pointed a finger at her warningly, raising her brows at her.

“Don’t you fucking dare, you- you with _his_ fucking arm around you, huh? You’re one to fucking talk.” She hissed, only audible to the two of them as the others around them were still chatting freely.

Wanda though was still so close to exploding from keeping her laughter inside.  
Anna shook her head, face beet red as she faced the TV once again.

Sam had his legs swung over the armrest as he held the remote.  
“Shut up, everyone! We’re about to see Belle’s biography.”

She elbowed him in the side and he giggled manically as he pressed play.

***

Throughout the movie her attention was mostly focused on the movie. 

Yet the distractions began once, like half an hour into the film, when Bucky’s head leaned back a little more, almost resting in her lap. Her heart was beating rapidly and she was biting her bottom lips almost to the point of it bleeding.  
She knew that feeling. She has felt it not only once in her lifetime. And she was cursing herself for feeling that way, yet she couldn’t deny the fact that every time she was around him, all her problems were pretty much forgotten. That his smile or him laughing at every single one of her dumb jokes made her whole day.

That the feeling of his fingers grazing the skin around her right ankle gave her goose bumps and an aching feeling in her chest. That this feeling had started to settle lower and lower, starting a dull pounding between her legs…

She had to pull herself together because she was afraid that feeling would have her squeezing his head with her legs and she would run away for sure once that happened.  
Panic settled inside her, but at the same time she seemed to care less and less.  
Less with every single finger of his right hand wrapping around her shin and she was so glad she had shaved her legs that morning because he was stroking his thumb over her skin like it was the most natural thing in the world.

His touch ignited a low flame into burning brighter and brighter and she actually felt like getting hotter.  
She saw his head that rested between her legs and took a deep breath before laying her hand on top of it.

She touched it, felt the softness of his brown strands as she moved her fingers through them. _Almost like silk_ , she thought and with a pounding heart, still doing her best to keep a straight face, she ran her fingers through it properly.

She leaned her head to the side to see the silhouette of his face and saw his jaw clench.  
She still wasn’t quite sure if he was fine with her doing it, his reaction not entirely decisive, so she bit the inside of her cheek as she tried one more time; this time scratching his scalp with her fingernails lightly.

His eyes immediately fluttered close, his grip around her leg tightening.  
His head leaned back more into her lap, towards the throb between her legs.

But she didn’t stop her ministrations. Especially after she saw a content smile playing on his lips, bliss on his features as he practically purred under her touch.  
Jesus Christ, he had no idea what he was doing to her, did he?

She thought as she simply continued running her nails over his scalp gently, through his thick hair to brush it back behind his ears.

Her hands were so careful as they handled him, her body so warm as it was pressed against his. He had long forgotten about the movie, getting lost in the feeling of her touch and what it unleashed inside him.

Jesus Christ, she had no idea what she was doing to him, _did she?_

***

He had found himself asleep more quickly than he could’ve ever anticipated, sitting there, his head resting between her legs… He hadn’t wanted to be anywhere else.

But her soft touches and strokes over his skin had after a while taken the edge off of him, the tension had gone right out of his shoulders as he had practically collapsed into her, letting her lull him to sleep.  
And so he did.  
And that had been the most peaceful hour of sleep he could even remember.

Before the rest of the restless bunch had woken him up with their shuffling and laughter.  
They hadn’t even noticed him sleeping, let alone Abbie having let him sleep there.  
They hadn’t cared as they had gone back into their rooms. It had become sort of late. Late enough to _try_ and sleep, anyway.

“Bucky.” He heard a soft voice that pulled him out of his slumber, his other senses kicking in as he slowly felt the sensation of two hands resting on each side of his head, holding it gently as her thumbs stroked over the shells of his ears.  
“Wake up, Bucky. It’s just me.” She whispered, her lips ghosting over the top of his head and he realized once again where he was currently positioned.  
His eyes shot open.

She let her hands fall to her sides as soon as she had felt him stir under her touch. Her thighs were still supporting his head as it was leaned back far against the couch.

“Hey.” She said as he looked up, seeing her face above his and he sat up straight, looking around only to see that all of them had already left. The TV-screen was black. He had slept through almost the entire movie.

“Hi.” He mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose while squeezing his eyes shut for a second. His voice was still so heavy with sleep.

And although he had been sitting on the floor, leaned back against a sofa and that for only a little over an hour, he swore that this had been the most recovering sleep he had had in a while.

“I think it’s time to go to bed.” She said calmly, still staring down at him with a small smile on her lips.  
_Had she stroked his hair throughout the whole movie?_ He wondered, because if yes, then she surely had a magic touch.

“Yeah…” He replied and stood up, every muscle in his body protesting.  
He stretched his arms above his head, his shirt riding up to expose the V-line underneath it, along with the waistband of his sweats and underwear.  
She only caught a glimpse of that before looking away bashfully. He hadn’t noticed, so she stood up as well.

They walked upstairs in silence, Bucky of cause, being from the forties and all, walking her to her door one story above his. The _room_ above his, to be exact.

He opened the door for her and saw her gaze lingering on the tired smile he gave her before she decided to walk inside.

“Goodnight, doll.” He was just about to close the door when she stopped him, holding it open with one hand.

“Can you stay?” She asked him suddenly, because it was. A surprise to her even, hearing those words come out of her mouth. But she meant every one of those three little words.

He looked at her big eyes drilling holes into his, waiting for an answer he was not sure how to tell her since his heart was determined to find a way to jump out of his throat.

“I- I…” He stuttered, but she didn’t budge. She needed him to say it. She wouldn’t be satisfied with anything else. A clear yes or no.

His smile faded as he thought hard about her offer, his mind torn between what he wants and not being sure if he can have it. He had been denied so much in his life, his choices having been made for him. She could see that from the longing in his eyes. The longing that had something else holding him back behind that exhausted stare that rested heavily on his face. He was in confliction with himself.

“I can’t, Abbie… I can’t risk… hurting you again.” He said as his shoulders slumped forward, his hair falling into his face and he shrunk up on himself so much, it made it hard for her to watch him like this.  
Like he was convinced of the fact that he should better be kept in a cage. Alone. Far away from her.

It made her fucking heart break.

“Bucky, do you _want_ to go?” She asked, her voice still gentle with him, not making him rush.  
She wouldn’t force him to stay if that’s what he would be uncomfortable with.  
She just wanted to know. She needed him to decide on his own, ignoring the anxiousness that made her heart rate go up while she was at it.

After a few agonizing seconds he slowly and hesitantly shook his head.  
She had anticipated it. No, she had _hoped_ for it. Knowing he would’ve already left and not stood there with the door handle still in his hand.

“Okay.” was all she said, moving into the room and he followed her easily, without hesitation, revealing what had been the longing in his eyes from before.  
He just needed to rest. And he could only do that with her around.  
His body only seemed to be at peace once he knew for sure that she was within reach.

He knew that from the way he relaxed every time he saw her, smelt her, heard her calming voice that was like a lullaby to his ears.  
He knew that from the way his body had leaned into her touch and immediately found the most useful sleep since before Hydra.

He was so desperate for some goddamn sleep. And she was the only one who could grant him that.

He swallowed hard as she ditched her sweatpants to see her wearing a pair of boy shorts underneath. She didn’t seem to mind his stunned staring too much as she put on her sleeping shorts before sinking into the mattress.  
He clenched his fists at his sides as he pulled the sweatshirt over his head, revealing him in only his sweatpants and a white singlet.

He waited until she had fully slipped beneath the sheets, seeing her with an equally tired expression on her face.

“Can, uhm- can you move to the other side…?” He asked sheepishly, his eyes darting over to the free space on the left side of the bed and it only took her a second, seeing his gaze flick to his left arm, that she knew what he meant. He didn’t want her coming close to that again.  
Fair enough.

She moved over and looked at him as his face was contorted with guilt and self-loathing wile staring down at that bed.  
“You can go if you want to, Bucky.” She whispered, letting out a yawn.  
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“But I want to.” Was his immediate response and with that he finally let himself drop onto the mattress as well.  
She smiled as he laid on his back, his left arm resting on his stomach while the other one was draped over his eyes and face. His eyes were closed.  
She watched the movement in the darkness.  
He let out a quiet sigh.

He was still laying as close to the edge as physically possible, but despite the deliberate actions he took to keep her away from him, he looked content with the situation.

She was laying on her side as she watched him and his steady breaths that slowly seemed to calm down a little.

“Bucky.” She whispered quietly, knowing that he was still awake, yet his arm did not move from the place over his eyes.

“Yes.” He whispered back, his voice so deep with sleep and chronic fatigue, it almost made her shudder. But not with need. Not with lust.

This was something deeper. Something even more intimate.  
She knew by the the way she was already balancing on the edge of falling asleep, by the comfort beginning to settle into her bones that just having him close to her made her restless mind calm down. She was finally promised a little break from reality.  
Hell, not even for a second did she worry about that stupid arm. And why should she?  
It was attached to the person she felt the safest around.

“Good night.” She mumbled, already drifting off and she was out like a light before she could even hear his reply.

_“Sleep well, doll.”_


	27. Missing Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension. Literally the slowest burn.

Abbie woke up to the coldness of her sheets. She knew in an instant that she was missing something by her side, realizing that Bucky must’ve already gotten up before her, most likely as silently as he always was. She was laying on her side as she cracked one eye open, realizing she had taken in his side, her head resting where his had mere hours before, yet his smell still lingered in the cases of her pillows as she buried her face into the softness of the fabric.  
_Don’t be weird, Abbie._

The thought crossed her mind, the voice inside her head calling her the newly found nickname he had given her.  
She felt a tingle in her stomach at the thought, closing her eyes again as she pulled up the blanket to her nose, breathing in deeply.  
Whatever.

She was about to drift back to sleep, when she realized that the room was already illuminated with the soft rays of early sunrise, her heart pounding at the discovery; she had actually slept through the night.

She let out a speechless chuckle, her head shaking in disbelief as she smiled up at the ceiling, running both hands through her hair.  
This man truly was a magical one.

She sat up in bed, feeling over the sheets with her palm before deciding to get out of bed and stretching her limbs.

She looked down at the alarm clock on the nightstand, seeing that it was already quarter to eight. She bit her lip at the joy she felt, having slept more than just three to four hours which had been the usual. Until now.

She changed from the sleeping shorts and shirt into jeans and another tank top.  
She walked into the bathroom to splash some water into her face, fixing her hair from an eagle’s nest to a slightly less terrifying mess.  
There were still imprints of the pillow’s fold on her face, slightly red lines across her left cheek.  
She looked down on herself to see the v-cut on the loose-fit shirt she was wearing and noticed that even though she was only wearing her sports-bra, the shape and fullness of her breasts had come back again, making her sigh with relief.  
It was not the only thing that had taken shape; her cheeks being less hollow, the bones of her ribs no longer aggressively poking out her sides. Her hips were fuller, too.  
She had started to get the old shape of her body back, never having been happier about seeing her belly-fat.

She was happy. For the first time in a very long time she seemed like she still had purpose in this fucked up world.

She stepped outside to see only Bucky rummaging around downstairs in the kitchen as she stood at the railing two floors above.  
He hadn’t noticed her coming down, only saw her silhouette as he turned around to grab something out of the fridge.  
He froze as she smiled at him. He smiled back only after she was stepping closer.

“What are you making?” She asked curiously, trying to look over his shoulder.

“Breakfast.” was the only thing to have come out of his mouth.

She rolled her eyes playfully “Duh. But what exactly are you cooking?”  
She moved to the side to spy past him. His face grew hot as he realized what he had planned actually sounded sort of ridiculous.

“I was… it’s, uhm… eggs. And bacon.” He stammered, scratching the back of his head as he watched her eyebrows furrow.  
She realized that he was a super soldier and all, but not even he could stomach that much food all by himself, she was sure of that fact.

“Are you cooking this all for yourself?” She asked hesitantly, one of her brows still risen judgingly. She still hadn’t gotten the idea behind it.

“No. It’s for…” He stared down at the pans and the food frying in them, looking back at her insecurely.

“Oh. Did- did you make me breakfast, too?” She asked excitedly, jumping around to smell the food.  
“Uhm.” That had gone differently than expected. That girl was full of surprises, after all.  
“Yes, actually.”

“That’s so sweet of you.” She mumbled, a smile still stretching her lips as she looked back at him with wide eyes.  
His jaw clenched as he tried not to let his awkwardness show.

She stepped back around him again.  
“Did you sleep okay?” She asked as she hugged her arms around herself.  
She had clearly just gotten up, the lines on her face from where her face had pressed against the sheets making it pretty obvious to him.

Admittedly, he had only gotten up an hour before her.  
For one thing, because she had been clinging to him like an octopus. He swore she grew more limbs during her sleep.  
But that wasn’t what had woken him up, no. He had indeed woken up to him still laying on the bed’s edge, not having moved an inch, while her head had been resting on his right shoulder. She had looked so fucking peaceful, he was convinced he could never ever move from his spot. Her cheek had been pressed against his skin, her face looking so goddamn cute and squishy as little puffs of air had left her pouty lips.  
She had been curled up into a ball almost, her one hand resting on top of his chest, while the other one wrapped around his arm.

He had just hoped she wouldn’t wake from the rapid thrums of his heart underneath her palm.  
So he had just lain there, wondering about the fact that the alarm clock next to him demonstrated the fact that he had actually gotten the most recovering sleep in years.

That was, until he had heard the soft knock sounding through her door.  
Blood shot into his head, making him dizzy for a second as he looked around the room in panic.  
He knew what this looked like and he didn’t want anyone to think weirdly of him.

“Anna?” He heard Steve asking from behind that door and Bucky let out a sigh of relief, carefully removing her arms from around him with a contorted face, hoping she wouldn’t be waking up and thankfully she didn’t.  
Steve’s voice sounded for the third time until Bucky had finally managed to stumble out of bed and towards the door.  
He ripped the door open, much to Steve’s surprise and pushed him forward and out of the door frame with a finger held in front of his lips.  
He closed the door quickly and silently behind him.

“I’m gonna be honest, I did not see that coming.” Steve said, clearly shocked, but despite Bucky’s expectations he did not look like he was judging him for any of this. Whatever he thought _‘this’_ was.

“It’s not what you think, Steve.” Bucky muttered as he rolled his eyes at his best friend, yet he couldn’t hide the pink of his cheeks. He was a little embarrassed.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be thinking, Buck.” He shrugged, a confused smile on his face “Whatever it is, I’m happy for you.” 

“Oh my god.” Bucky groaned, hiding his face behind his hand.  
“It’s not that, I was just sleeping there.” He knew that sounded just as wrong.

“Okay.” Steve said reassuringly, nodding his head.  
“You know I would never consider you taking advantage of Anna. I know how much she means to you.” He stated earnestly, looking him right in the eyes as he said it.  
“So whatever it is between you… Friendship or even more than that, all I’m saying is that I’m happy for you.” He laid a hand on his shoulder.  
“Because you deserve happiness, Buck.”

Bucky still didn’t look at him, uncomfortable with the entire situation, even though his friend’s words had been nothing but kind.

“So when you tell me you just slept there, that’s fine by me.” Steve said and chuckled, shaking his body with the grip around his shoulder.  
“Relax, man.”

Bucky nodded, looking up from the ground to face the blond.

“I was actually just going to ask her if she wanted to go on a run with me. She said that she had wanted to go with me today.” He explained and Bucky found his words once again, right after clearing his throat.

“Yes, she, uhm…” He looked back at the door.  
“I think- I mean… we should let her sleep for now.” He whispered, stepping away from the door. Steve followed him.  
“She rarely ever sleeps and… I think it’s just better if you go tomorrow.”

Steve nodded his head understandingly.  
“Okay.”

Both of them had walked downstairs in silence, until Bucky couldn’t stand it anymore.  
“I can’t sleep. “Steve looked over at him. Nothing new, he had known that for a while.  
“But… she can’t either. And, I don’t know why, but I somehow can when she’s around.”  
Steve looked at him for a long time before he answered.

“Well. Obviously she’s feeling the same way.”  
He gave a nod into the general direction of her room.

Bucky had shrugged, not letting his words give him any false hopes.  
“I guess so.”

And there he was now. Standing in front of her while she patiently awaited his answer.

“I slept okay.” He said and she began to chuckle nervously.

“Did I push you to the edge of the bed? Because I’m really sorry if I did.”

A smile appeared on his lips again.  
“Not really. I was already laying on the edge.”

Her eyes went wide “Oh no! That bad?” She gasped, her voice getting real quiet.  
“Did I snore?”

He laughed “No. You were… very clingy, though.” 

She bit her lip as her eyes went wide, starting to feel a blush spread over her chest and face.  
“What…?”

“Don’t worry.” He said, gulping nervously as he said the next sentence.  
“It was kinda cute.”

Her blush intensified even more as she let out a flustered laugh.  
“Sorry.” She whispered, looking at the ground.

“Don’t be.” He replied as he filled a plate with the food, handing it over to her.  
She muttered a thanks, staring up at him when he saw a few strands of hair caught in her eyelashes.

He didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he mindlessly let his right hand travel up to reach the softness of her skin, his forefinger brushing over her eyebrow, catching the hair to let his finger travel down further until it had reached the edge of her jawline.  
His touch lingered there for a second before he felt her gaze on him, her eyes ripped wide open as her breathing had completely stopped.

He stared back at her, the prickling sensation once again returning to where his skin met hers.  
The pressure built up underneath their derma, making every cell in their bodies burn with the lack of touch.

Bucky swallowed hard as her gaze still lingered on his so intensely, the brightness of her eyes staring holes into his blue ones, not daring to look away for even a second.  
His hand dropped once he had realized it was still meeting her skin, the tingle fading, yet the pressure only intensifying. He felt like his head was going to explode.  
His heart, his being had longed for her touch for what felt like so _long._

Her gaze flicked down to his mouth for only a split second, her pulse thrumming in every region of her body, yet still… no one dared to move.

You could slice the air between them with a freaking butter knife.

“Oh, yeah. You’re making breakfast for everyone?” A familiar voice ripped them out of their trance, the moment gone with Sam’s interruption.

Abbie had flinched at the sound that had pierced through the silence, making her jump away from Bucky’s equally throbbing form, still holding the hot plate of food in her hands.

Sam stepped closer, ignoring the two as he smelled the food.

He turned around when Bucky didn’t make a sound.  
Annabelle looked down at her plate, breaking eye contact and began to walk backwards.  
He cleared his throat.  
“Sure.”

“Awesome.” He said and began filling his own plate.

 _Oh. My. God._  
Was what went through Abbie’s head as she turned her back to him, mouthing it to herself over and over again as she walked toward the dining table.

She coughed to keep her heart out of her throat, her fluttering stomach suddenly not able to contain much food from the buzz she felt coursing through her blood, along with the adrenaline.  
What the hell would’ve happened hadn’t Sam decided to come in during that exact moment?

He didn’t seem to have noticed the tension lingering in the room, but nevertheless, Abbie’s head was still beet red.

She barely noticed Sam calling her. Her head turned around to look at Sam and not Bucky purposefully.

“You better eat up, we got training at nine-thirty, all right?”

She nodded her head quickly, her mouth pulled into a thin line.  
He grabbed his plate and sat down next to her, shoving the eggs and bacon into his mouth inelegantly.

She gulped as she stared down, her pulse still thrumming in her ears and between her legs as she shifted on the seat uncomfortably.

She basically felt the holes he bore into her back and she listened to hear his actions, despite the smacking of Sam’s chewing.  
He hesitated until he finally decided to join them with a plate of his own.

He was sitting in front of her, his gaze still lingering on her and she looked up to meet him when she felt like she had the strength.  
His eyes were trained on her own, her breath leaving her in one rush. The look in his eyes burned hotter and fiercer than the actual touch he had left on her skin.

Yet she didn’t want to look away, didn’t want him to think she had been uncomfortable with whatever _that_ had been. So he did exactly the same.

Staring at someone for that long… most people would’ve already looked away with awkwardness, but they didn’t. Not until Bucky saw a fleeting smile on her lips. Still flustered and still shy, but not embarrassed by him. Or them.

And he let out a breath of relief, poking his fork into the eggs as he smiled back sheepishly.

They’d be fine. Whatever this was, they didn’t need to be afraid. Or ashamed of it, for that matter. 

Because judging by the flutter of his heart and the dopamine being released from his brain; he knew they would be just fine.


	28. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle admits her feelings for Bucky to herself and Wanda as they train together. The second realization of the day after getting to know her own powers better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last update for this year you guys. I wish you all a very happy new year and hope you had a great holiday :3

It wasn’t that night that Bucky joined her during her sleep again.  
Also not the night after that.  
Or after that.

She hadn’t seen him downstairs or located somewhere else.  
Although she knew that he wouldn’t have found sleep. She knew because she didn’t.

And after another night of pretty much no sleep at all, she was feeling not so great.  
For one thing because of the jittering that shook her core. Mainly because of the constant abundance of adrenaline her body produced to keep herself awake.  
But also because Bucky had avoided her throughout those past few days and it made her feel both shaky and unfocused.

“Anna!” Wanda’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts and the black smoke pooling down on the mat vaporized immediately.

“Huh?”

“What’s going on with you? You’re totally out of focus today.” She said as she stepped closer, carefully running her fingers over Annabelle’s wrists, a red glow illuminating their path along her skin. She closed her eyes for a second.

“Something is bothering you.” She stated. It wasn’t a question. And she knew better than to lie to her friend.

She shrugged “I don’t know…”

“Yes you do.” She pulled her lips into a thin line as she looked at her with concern, taking a step back again.  
“I can see that something’s on your mind. You know I could just look for what it is, but since you made me promise to never do that…” She sighed “I won’t. So just tell me.”

Abbie groaned as she threw her head back in frustration, turning in circles in front of her friend. She knew that she knew something was up. Fuck it.

“I think I like Bucky.” She whispered, hiding her face behind her hands, spying through her fingers to catch Wanda’s reaction.  
Her eyes grew wide and she let out a squeak, grinning to both ears like the Cheshire cat.  
“I fucking knew it.” She giggled and bit her lip, looking back at the worried look on her face.  
“So what’s wrong? I thought you would be happy?” 

“I am… but-” She sighed, thinking of how to say it. She remembered the tension between them a couple of days ago and an immediate blush began to crawl up her neck.

“Okay so there was this weird thing in the kitchen a few days ago.” She said, her voice becoming quiet.  
“There- I can’t even describe it, there was just something. One moment he’s cooking breakfast, the next he’s moving a strand of hair out of my face and we were just staring at each other and…” She let out a shaky breath along with a shake of her head. She couldn’t even believe it herself. Still couldn’t.  
“I swear to god, if Sam hadn’t come in… ugh!” She ran her hands through her hair aggressively.  
Wanda looked at her in disbelief.

“Oh my god.” She gaped back at her, a hand moving to cover her face “You really like him!”

“No I don’t.” Annabelle protested, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Wanda laughed, throwing her head back.  
“You are so stupid.” She said and raised her eyebrows at her expectantly.  
She didn’t get it.

“He likes you too, dumbass.”

Annabelle drew in a sharp breath, her lips pursing at her comment.  
“What? No!” She screeched and quickly covered her mouth, looking around.  
They were still alone in the gym. What a surprise.

“Listen. There was this moment and then Sam came in and after that I had training and I haven’t seen him since, okay?”

“Have you ever actually seen him?”

Annabelle cocked one brow at her.  
“How- What do you want me to say to that?”

Wanda rolled her eyes at that.  
“I mean have you actually ever seen the way he looks at you?”

“You mean how Vision looks at you?” She tried to lighten up the mood, yet Wanda’s look on her face told her she was not kidding in the slightest.

“Cut the crap, we’re talking about you right now.”

She rolled her eyes as well and shrugged.  
“No, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“When you guys talk I can call his name and he wouldn’t hear me. I could snap my fingers in front of his face, but that wouldn’t work because the only thing he sees is you.”

She scoffed in an attempt to cover up the smiley expression that was threatening to show on her face.  
“You’re so full of shit.” She muttered, the blush on her cheeks making it hard for Wanda to take her seriously.

“Yeah, right. You know how I know?” She asked, a smirk appearing on her face  
“Because I’ve tried it before. It has become a little game between me, Natasha and Sam.”  
Anna stared at her in disbelief “We would call your names when you two are deep in conversation and see who can say your names the loudest without any of you noticing.”  
She took a deep breath before proceeding to yell into Anna’s face and she flinched backwards at the sudden loud sound.

“We would usually have to scream this loud to get your attention!” She shouted, laughing as she saw the expression on her face.  
“Ask the others. Natasha usually wins.”

Anna gulped as she saw the smug face on her friend, making her scrunch up her nose in both denial and stubbornness.  
Shame rose red and high on her cheeks. She couldn’t be right, could she?

“Whatever.” She mumbled, clearly annoyed by her remark, but also because for one thing, she had never noticed that face on him, but on the other hand… maybe there could be a reason behind her not noticing anything that was happening once she was around Bucky.

Also, she desperately needed to know why in the hell he would keep his fucking distance if this were all true??

“Then why is he ignoring me, Wanda?” She asked, her heart making her feel so many things at once while she processed all of it.  
Her smile faded slowly as she looked at her friend who was clearly conflicted.  
She suddenly seemed so small in front of her, even though they were the same height.

“I don’t know, Anna. I really can’t tell you.” She sighed, making her lay a hand on her shoulder once her head dropped at her words.  
Oh, she sure did like him back, that much was clear to her. Pretty damn obvious.

“But you will figure it out, I’m convinced.” She squeezed her shoulder before she took a step back again, taking in a steady stance on the mat.

“You know, I could lift those thoughts you have, but my idea is that you use what you’re feeling right now to get your powers under control.” She let the glow emerge between her fingers.  
Although her abilities were to a certain degree similar to hers, since the same sort of mutation could be found in both of their blood streams, the powers she had had distinct differences.

While Wanda’s superpowers included energy manipulation and telepathy, hers were a bit more complex.  
More complex than that? Yes. That was actually possible.  
So far they’ve come up with various theories;  
They’ve found out that after the incident in the alley, Annabelle had been more in control of her powers than ever before.  
She could call them up whenever she wanted and use them however she pleased.  
A little fiddling in her brain had helped at first, thanks to Wanda, although she wouldn’t need any help anymore.  
She was utterly in control of it. And it was in control of her feelings.

Her feelings got projected onto the smoke that entered through her victim’s pores.  
Victim was a harsh word, yet if she felt terrified or scared, angry and furious; her powers would let the person know.

A few days ago Wanda had touched it during one of her lessons, because she had figured out the logic behind it even before Anna had.  
She had jumped away in surprise, yet Wanda hadn’t moved an inch, letting the winding tentacles of opaque blackness crawl over her skin like it was nothing.

“It’s about what you feel in the moment.” She had explained, looking down at her arm.  
She had absolute trust in her. All while Annabelle had stood there, sweat trickling down her back at the sight of it touching the person she would never want to hurt.

“As long as you’re calm, collected like now…” It twisted up her arm and around her shoulders. Anna had been absolutely terrified, yet she had used all her willpower to repeat that thought in her head.  
Don’t you fucking dare hurt that girl.

And it hadn’t. because she had told it not to.

Wanda had simply watched as it found its way back the way it had come from, sliding back until it collected back into Anna’s palm.

“…you won’t be able to hurt me.” She finished her sentence.

Annabelle had groaned once the gas-like fluid had drained back into her own body, slumping over and propping herself up onto her shaking knees.  
“Don’t you ever do that to me again.”  
She had laughed breathlessly, looking at her friend who had been standing in front of her as calm as physically possible.

“Oh no. We’re doing that again right now.”

And that had been the beginning of some very intense training lessons during the past few days.

“So come on, now!” Wanda urged her, standing in a fighting position, her hands held up in front of her as her fingers began to glow.

“Use what you’re feeling against me.”

Anna’s eyes went wide as she rapidly shook her head.  
“Uhm… no fucking way.” She stated as she backed off.

“I know you won’t hurt me.” She replied a little too confidently.

Another theory they had put up;  
That she could control her emotions like that. Whatever was manipulating the power.  
They knew her feelings mirrored its effects on the other person it touched, but she didn’t know if she could simply turn it on and off like a freaking switch.

“I want you to keep that thought in mind. That you don’t want it to hurt me. You said the controlled thinking had helped before, right?” She asked, continuing to hold up her hands.  
She nodded.

“So just use it on me like telekinesis. Turn off the thoughts that want to hurt me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Exactly.”

Annabelle sighed deeply.  
“So, like….no emotions coming with it? Just the power of, like, having smoke come out of me or whatever…?” She still wasn’t sure about what Wanda really wanted from her.

“Yes, dummy. It’s dense, whatever it is. It’s almost a physical form for itself. It will be able to move stuff if you concentrate hard enough. Without actually altering it, if you know what I mean.” She explained and it was the first thing that actually made sense in her head. She was right after all.

That thing had moved underneath Sam’s skin like an actual living being, taking place where it shouldn’t have. It had mass. It could take in space if it wanted to. If she wanted it to.  
Just needed to rely on herself not to make it burn like acid the second Wanda would touch it.

“Okay.” She huffed, putting up her hands as well.  
“Let’s do this.”

“Remember I can take it. I still have my own powers. I just want you to try and throw me around a little, just that. No illusory pain or something, get it?” She explained and Anna nodded.  
“I want you to be able to control it even when you’re angry or sad or frustrated, just like right now.” Her breathing came in short bursts as she felt it prickling beneath her skin, threatening to breach.  
“Come on, Anna. Show me what you would do.” Wanda’s voice had raised her voice on purpose, trying to make her unfocused, trying to intimidate her.  
“Come on!” She yelled and within a millisecond she was fully concentrated on her goal, her feeling wanting to jumble her intentions up, but she was the one in fucking control here.

A huge gush of black smoke streamed out of her palms in the form of slick, black ropes right at her and Wanda gasped in surprise, not having the time to react before the strands had fully wrapped around her body and reached back to whirl her across the room.

She threw her in the direction of the stacked mats on purpose, just to demonstrate that she was in fact able to shut her up for one second.  
She landed there with a huff, her body rolling over to wipe her hair out of her face as she propped herself up on her elbows to look at her friend in disbelief.

“What the hell?” She yelled and Anna doubled over with laughter, Wanda joining with her own giggles as she rolled over.  
The long, opaque extensions of her arms were still close to Wanda’s body and wrapped around her once more, this time more gently, hoisting her up to carefully place her on her wobbly feet.

“I’m sorry.” She grinned, clearly happy with her own achievements.  
“Wipe that smug smile off your face, girl.” She grumbled, yet had a smile of her own shaping her mouth.  
“If you keep that up, you’ll be almost more powerful than I am.”

“Almost?” Annabelle giggled and Wanda stemmed her hands on her hips.

“Almost.”


	29. Bright-Eyed And Bushy-Tailed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabelle's trying anything to get Bucky to speak to her again. She's gotta take matters into her own hands (or fists...)

“I tell you, you’re acting like a child.” Steve said as he wrapped his fists with tape.  
“You both are.”

“You don’t get it, Steve.” Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his sweat-damp hair.  
“I haven’t even talked to her since.” He said whiningly, fiddling with his thumbs.

Steve turned to give him ‘the look’.  
“I know, I know. I’m full of shit.” Bucky groaned as he continued doing sit-ups.

“That’s not what I meant.” The blond started as he gave the sand bag the first punch, making it swing with the force behind it.

“I think you did.” Bucky chuckled, his hands crossed over his chest as he came up to see him over his propped-up knees.

“Why don’t you just take her out for her birthday tomorrow?” He asked and the question made him stop right away, shock piercing him.

“Shit. Tomorrow?” He panted “How the hell do you know it and not me?” 

Steve grinned smugly and punched again.  
“Because I’m a good listener and don’t get lost in her eyes every time she opens her mouth.”

“I don’t.” He grumbled and rolled his eyes, smoothing back his hair that had fallen out of the bun he had secured at the back of his head to keep the strands out of his sweaty face.

The man laughed, his upper body leaning back as he held a hand to his chest.  
“Okay, now I’m saying you’re full of crap.”

The door to the gym opened and Sam and Abbie stepped in, her laughing about some story he had told her and Bucky couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy going through him.  
He bit the inside of his cheek to suppress a growl.

“Oh, well. Look who got here first.” He said, placing one hand on his hip and Abbie mimicked him, both of them bursting with laughter once again.

“You did it again!” She squealed and although Bucky thought the sound was adorable, he didn’t like the fact that it was Sam causing it.

“Now you just need to stick out your chest like-” She demonstrated what she meant, resting her hands on her hip jutting out and arching her back, her sports bra doing little to hide the fullness of her breasts as she showed off her cleavage at the motion.  
Bucky gulped as he caught himself staring right at it, a blush spreading over his already flushed cheeks as he looked down at the mat he was sitting on.

“Okay, right, hold on-” He repeated the action and turned towards the two.  
“Guys, who am I?” He said, raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips, imitating the dad of the group.

Bucky realized he was imitating Tony, yet he couldn’t stop himself when the thought slipped past his lips.  
“A jackass?” 

“Hey.” Abbie said at the harshness of his words and furrowed her brows at him.  
His gaze immediately dropped. He felt Steve boring that knowing look into his back.  
Alright, alright. Maybe he was right. A little overprotective for sure.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” Sam said excitedly, rubbing his hands together mischievously.  
“Since we’re all here I can finally show off what I’ve been working on so hard.”

“And what would that be?” Abbie cocked a brow at him, her hands still resting on her hips.

“You?” He replied like that was the most logical assumption to make. 

“That” She giggled “Sounds so wrong in all the ways possible.”

“Yes, but you’ve already known my plan.” He grinned and her eyes lit up in realization, her mouth forming an o-shape.

“Listen up, boys. Since I can’t beat you, I’m sure Belle over here can by now.”

Her head whipped around to gape at him. Bucky and Steve did the same.

“Oh, you know what I’m talking about.” He said like it was the most natural thing to suggest.

“Are you crazy?” She hissed, but he ignored her by pushing her aside, walking towards Bucky deliberately.

“What about you, lover boy? You interested in getting your ass kicked?”

Sam asked as he stood above him, Bucky still sitting on the mat.  
He looked over at Abbie, her face in shock as she stared back at him.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea…” He started, but Sam interrupted him once more.  
“You scared or something? Come on, she won’t rip your head off.” He grinned “Probably.”

Abbie looked to the side as she crossed her arms.  
Perhaps she should even beat his ass for not talking to her in like… four days…

“I’ll do it.” She said as she stepped forward, sudden confidence striking her and Steve looked at her in surprise. It was very unlike her to pick a fight, but she had a lot of anger built up from the past few days. And she weirdly enough wanted to let it out on the guy who freaking caused it.

They could all feel the tension crackling in the air as she stared Bucky down, waiting for his response.  
He gulped. He had brought this on himself. He could see it from the look in her piercing eyes. His getting-out-of-the-way-to-avoid-confrontation maneuver hadn’t really worked out the way he had planned. Maybe he would be doing her a favor by letting her punch it out.

“Fine.” He grumbled, standing up and shoving Sam aside who was whistling lowly.  
He walked towards Abbie who was still pouting at him and even though her couldn’t deny the fact that she looked pretty damn cute like that, his subconscious mind still had to remind him that she was really angry with him.  
“Listen” He said once he stood close enough that only she could hear his words “I’m sorry for ignoring you, but please don’t feel like you have to do this to prove anyone that- “

“Hah!” She threw her head back with fake laughter, her voice loud enough for anyone in the room to understand “The way I look at it, I see someone afraid to take it up with me.”  
She inched closer to his face, uncomfortably close so, he had to suppress a shudder at their proximity.

“I’m not…” He stuttered, trying to come up with something that would make her calm down. Unsuccessfully so.

“Good.” She said, shrugging as she gave him her bitchiest look.  
“Let’s go for it then.” The scent of her shampoo, her perfume and a little bit of sweat from her previous workout had lingered on her skin as she walked past him. It was almost intoxicating. He had to pull himself together.  
Although he didn’t dislike that cocky side of her.

“Okay, what am I looking at here?” Tony had stepped into the gym along with Natasha.

“They’re about to fight.” Sam explained joyfully, making Tony’s brow raise in surprise, hands stemmed on his hips. Sam grinned back at Annabelle at the sight of Tony as he was demonstrating the exact same thing from before.  
She gave him a wink as she stretched her neck.

“Fight?” Natasha asked doubtfully.  
“Oh yeah.” Sam added “She’s gonna kick his ass.”  
“Alright, so… with or without powers?” Tony asked, arms now crossed over his chest.  
“Without. I’d be too easy with.” Natasha laughed as Sam scoffed.  
“Yeah it would.”

“Friday” Tony spoke up and her gentle voice sounded in the gym.  
“Yes, Sir?”  
“How about a phat beat?” He said and not even five seconds a rhythmic beat filled the room.  
Natasha nodded her head in time to the music.

“Show us what you got, kid.” Tony yelled over the sound and took a step back to watch the show in front of him.

Steve sent Bucky a glare, but he could only shrug his shoulders. He had brought this onto himself, nothing he could do about it now.

They moved over onto the padded work-out place, a soft ground easing a gentler fall. Because this was what Bucky was expecting.  
He did have more fighting experience, more than 70 years worth of fighting experience, but she had an unknown rage behind her actions which he could not estimate.  
She had gotten stronger without even looking like it and that was her advantage.

She had started to jump on the mattress, warming herself up, as the others cheered them on, only a bunched up clamoring in the background as they only paid attention to the person in front of them.

“Doll, calm down.” He warned, still collected while she had started to pant with rage, the whooping around her really spurring her on.  
“Stop calling me that!” She yelled as her cheeks flushed.

“I thought you liked it?” He asked confusedly, still just standing with his hands dangling next to him, not caring to put up a fighting stance. He wasn’t afraid of her. Yet she was still jumping around madly. He found it pretty ridiculous. And perhaps just a little cute.

“Yeah, well…” She started, struggling to find words.  
I thought you liked me, but I guess that’s a done deal.

“…I’ve decided to revoke your right.” She stated, cocking one eyebrow at him.

He chuckled “Of calling you doll?”

“Exactly.” She said, stretching her arms above her head.

“Then let me make it up to you.” He said so lowly only she could hear and for a second she just stood there, staring at each other. He actually looked remorseful, sending her a pleading look.

She shook her head, pulling herself together.  
“You know what? No. I’ll fight you. And maybe I’ll even take it easy on you.” She teased and Bucky grinned. She was still angry, though a little less.  
He used the opportunity.

“Do your worst, then.” He said and she lunged forward, her right fist swinging at his face and his hand caught hers, fingers closing around her clenched fist. His eyes widened.  
“Were you seriously aiming for my face?” He asked her, obviously stunned.

She shrugged, face looking serious once again “You’re not gonna do something if I keep punching nothing. Or maybe a wall.”  
He gulped at her words.  
“I want you to fucking react James, can you do me the freaking favor?” She hissed through gritting teeth.

He shoved her back.  
“I won’t do it, you know that, doll.” He hissed back and she shook her head at him angrily.  
“Yeah, right. Because you never do shit about anything.” She said almost loud enough for the others to hear over the beat of the music.

“Wha- What are you talking about?”  
He asked her as she stepped closer. She shook her head in disbelief.  
“Fucking Christ.” She muttered.

“What do you want from me?” He yelled and pushed her back again, before she completely lost control, jumping right at him.

“I want you to stop avoiding me!” She shouted at him as she wrapped her thighs around his shoulders. One move she had learned from Nat. She heard her proud whooping in the background.

He gasped for air at the sudden movement, eyes going wide as his big hands grabbed her legs.  
“Let Go!” He gasped.  
“No!”  
He grunted as he threw her back onto the mattress, her legs still wrapped around his head as his fingers tried to wiggle their way between him and her chokehold.  
“What are you trying to prove?” He grunted as he realized that he was laying in a very suggestive position, his head going red with both the realization and the lack of air.  
Jesus Christ, that girl was not weak at all. Also, she didn’t look like it. At all.

“I’m not trying to prove anything.” She gasped as he freed himself, quickly stumbling to his feet, rubbing his neck. 

“You just won’t talk to me otherwise; what else am I gonna do?” She asked, a serious tone behind her question. Maybe she really is doing this just for fun, he thought.

And to be honest, she was. Kinda. She wasn’t that angry with him after all, yet on a quest for getting his attention; this definitely was the one with the most potential so far.

“God.” He panted, running a hand over his wind-pipe “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Maybe.” She grinned back playfully, standing back on her feet.  
“How the hell else am I supposed to get your attention?”

He scoffed, drinking in her sweaty form; her flushed cheeks and heaving chest, the sweat running down between her breasts… He swallowed hard at the sight and although he had really tried to suppress that feeling by all means, he couldn’t resist a little play.

“You want me to react?” Was the question that left his mouth and he didn’t even wait for the nod that came afterwards before he had her turned around as he locked his arm around her chest, keeping her close to him.  
“Then fight me, doll.” He breathed into her ear.

He caught a glimpse from the side of her face and the grin plastered on it before she pulled down his hand, his grip loosening around her shoulder until his arm rested loosely over her belly and she turned her hips, her hands continuing to hold onto his arm, bending over to throw him over her shoulder, his body plumping back onto the mattress.  
His world spun a little before he even knew what had happened.

The ceiling was turning and she heard the low whistling in the background, yet she was still the only constant in the room, looking up at her as she stood above his body with each foot next to his hip.

She crossed her arms, a victorious smile on her lips.

“You call that a fight?” She mocked and he grinned up at her, grabbing her ankle in a quick motion to pull the rug from underneath her feet and she squealed before she landed on her back next to him.  
He scrambled on top of her, pinning her underneath his body while holding her wrists down to the mat.

She whined and complained, curses leaving her lips as she struggled to get herself free.  
How did she somehow manage to still look so goddamn adorable?

“Are you done now?” He asked and her head snapped back as she noticed the closeness of his lips. She gulped, panic flooding her as she realized that the others had gotten dead silent around them, gaping at the two with wide eyes.  
He was so freaking close she could smell the aftershave on his clean-shaven face.  
It made the throb between her legs come back to life.  
Adrenaline made her chest burn along with the painful constricting of her heart.  
It was embarrassment she was feeling.  
Not like this. Not while they all stared at them.

Her next move was really out of blind panic; legs kicking suddenly until her knee unfortunately hit something.  
It caused Bucky to double over in pain, making his face press into her shoulder before he rolled over into a fetus-position, covering his groin with both hands.

She heard Sam and Tony let out an “Oooooooohh”, Steve hissing as they all saw Bucky receiving a kick into the balls, the poor guy writhing in pain.

Abbie’s upper body shot up, her hands moving to press onto each side of her face with shame, her face going beet red.  
She gasped with shock as she looked down at him, moving over to rest a hand on his shoulder for comfort.

“Fuck, shit. I’m so sorry Bucky!” She stuttered, embarrassment causing tears to fill her eyes.  
He groaned as he rolled over onto his back again, eyes shut tightly to distract from the searing pain shooting through him.

“I think we’ll take care of it from here. Great job by the way, kid.” Tony said, not even sarcastically as he moved over to wrap an arm around his back, pulling Bucky up.

Bucky hissed and Steve joined him as they transported his hunched-over form to the kitchen.

Annabelle still sat there in shock, covering her mouth with her hands, looking after the guys carrying Bucky out.

She only then noticed that Sam had been chuckling throughout the entire time while Natasha had just scoffed at him.

“What- What’s gonna hap- What did I do?”  
She was so close to tears as she felt the realization hit her.  
She had just hurt Bucky. For real this time. Seriously, physically hurt him.

Sam laughed “Don’t worry about him, he just got kicked in the balls.”  
“Yes, by me.” She whined, her fingers tugging at the roots of her hair as she ran a hand through it.

Sam stepped closer to help her up and she let him, standing on wobbly legs.  
The adrenaline had maybe been a little much for her sleep-deprived body to handle.

“Relax, Belle. He’ll be over it. He’s a super soldier, remember? Not even a severe slap in the dick can shake that guy.” He stressed that word. Severe. She felt way worse.  
He assured her, but she still felt terrible. She had definitely gone overboard on this one.  
She had just wanted him to finally talk to her.

Instead she had him writhing on the floor with no more words being able to leave his lips.

Great. Just peachy.


	30. Subconsciousness Is A Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Annabelle's Bday and Bucky has the most inappropriate start of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I think this is the first time that there's some S M U T in here and I mean FINALLY. Took me some fucking time.  
> ...So... enjoy this I guess ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

After Steve had brought him to his room and told Annabelle that _perhaps this wasn’t the best time to talk to him_ , she had taken off to her room where she had showered and read a book, when soon after that she had been lulled to sleep as her eyes had no longer endured the burn of staring at the pages and tiny letters and words, sleep simply finding her.

She only woke up hours later in the same spot, her neck aching from the position her head had been in, propped up onto a bunch of pillows and she groaned as she sat up in bed, letting her neck creak.  
It was when she heard the scream sounding from below her that she understood what had woken her up in the first place.

Her heart took a leap, her legs swinging over her bed to hurry to her door.  
The lamp that was still lit on her nightstand was the only source of light illuminating the hallway.  
She scurried downstairs, quickly stepping to Bucky’s door on silent feet, careful not to slip on the smooth stone tiles with the fuzzy socks she was wearing.

“Bucky?” She knocked a few times, but didn’t expect another answer except for a low grunting sounding behind that door.  
“I’m gonna come in.” She warned before she opened the door and inspected the situation with the handle still in her hands.

The poor guy was writhing due to a nightmare torturing him once again, his sweat-soaked form glistening in the bluish moon light. It almost seemed like a déjà vu to her and that was when her memories kicked in, reminding her to perhaps wake him a little differently this time.  
She stepped closer after having closed the door behind her and heard his low whines and panting. His head was moving from side to side as his fists gripped the sheets below him so tightly she knew he would rip them in half if he would continue like this for another minute or so.

“Bucky.” She whispered and stood at the end of the bed, her hand moving to lay on top of his sweatpants-covered leg. She gave it a squeeze once her gentle touch wouldn’t wake him and she was prepared for his upper body to shoot up straight like an arrow, staring right through her before he blinked his eyes and found himself back in his room again.

“I’m here with you, Bucky. You’re here, okay?” She said and smiled at him as his wide eyes quickly scanned the room in a horrified stare.  
But when he didn’t look like that was helping, still stuck in that feverish dream, she walked around and reached for his hand.  
But before he could let that happen he shook himself awake, just enough for him to flinch away from her touch.  
She looked back at him in confusion.  
“Bucky, it’s me.” She tried soothing him, still inching her fingers closer towards his metal ones until he finally sprung out of bed, his reflexes quick as they were shaped by the time he spent being an assassin. She guessed that time never stopped. Once an assassin, always an assassin or… whatever.

“Don’t.” He warned and it almost sounded like a growl with the sleep deepening his voice.  
She gulped, holding her hand close to her chest.  
“Okay.” She whispered and Bucky groaned at the sudden confusion and helplessness written all over her face.

“You can’t keep doing that, Abbie.” He said as he ran a hand over his returning stubble and sweaty forehead.  
He was still procrastinating what divided his dream and reality.  
“You can’t wake me during a nightmare, I- I thought the last time had been pretty obvious why it’s better to stay away from me.” His expression was … annoyed. He was annoyed.

“Are you annoyed? Is that why you decided to stay away from me?” She blurted out, covering her mouth once it had slipped past her lips.  
His brows drew together, his chest still heaving with the adrenaline coursing through his blood.  
“No, I-” He sighed deeply “I’m not trying to avoid you because you annoy me, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He shook his head, the little light in the room showing amusement on his face.  
His mouth opened as if to speak, his eyes rolling to the ceiling to avoid eye contact.  
He was embarrassed. Of what he was about to say to her. 

“Abbie, you’re too good, okay? I can’t keep hurting you, ‘s like I just said; you should be the one trying to stay away from me. Not the other way around.”

Her breath caught in her throat as it tightened up. She shook her own head at him, resting her hands on her hips as she scoffed.  
“Is _that_ what this is about? _God_.”

He raised his brow at her.  
“What?”  
“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” She said in disbelief, her tongue pressing against the roof of her mouth to suppress any too harsh words threatening to spill out.  
“You know, I almost killed Sam- I _actually killed a guy_ , I- I am so powerful I don’t even know how to handle it and you’re telling me you’re dangerous? I kicked you in the balls a few hours ago!” She shouted at him and his eyes widened in surprise, his lips forming into a thin line.

“And… I’m really sorry about that by the way.” She looked at her feet, swinging her arms at her sides.  
He snorted at the sight of her and thanks to god, managed to lighten up the mood a little.  
She laughed breathlessly.

“I’m the one running around with those fucking creepy abilities and you’re afraid your… tin… arm or _whatever_ will hurt me. Just shut up, okay?” She chuckled, holding her hands up in defense.

He laughed, the tension running down his back.  
“You know, you have one hell of a kick there, doll.” He said and looked over at the nightstand, her gaze following his as she spotted the ice-pack laying there in a puddle of water.

“I’m pretty sure my balls had been inside of my body for like twenty minutes straight.”  
His lip curled into a smirk as he scratched the back of his head uncomfortably.  
She gasped, one hand going to cover the laugh she was hiding.  
“I swear; I didn’t want to do that. I asked Steve, but he said I should go see you later to… apologize…” He let out a high-pitched laugh, awkwardly looking around his room.

“Well” He said after a while, his eyes flicking from her face to the ground and again.  
“I guess you’re here now.”  
She paused as well, her teeth biting her bottom lip and his eyes were drawn to the movement.  
“I guess I am.”

His heart had begun to pound loudly, loud enough for him to worry about her hearing it.  
His gaze wandered from her in her stupid heart-printed pajamas, to her hair put in a small, messy bun placed at the back of her skull while half of her hair had already loosened from the knot due to the short length of it.  
Her eyes were so sleepy and glassy, the bags under her eyes as dark as ever.

He knew what she needed. He wasn’t kidding anyone; what they both needed to finally get some rest again.

“Can you stay?” He asked in a small voice, still not looking her directly into the eyes.

He truly could joke around all day, but when it came to him trying to get a remotely serious or in any kind of intimate question out of her, every fiber of his being refused to simply cooperate. His hands got so fucking sweaty he always had to wipe them on his pants, which was, as a matter of fact, pretty gross. But he couldn’t help it.  
The second he was around her, he was turning into a teenager again.  
It had been a long damn time ago, yet he still remembered the awkwardness that came with it.  
And he was reliving it once again, the whole package.  
Sweaty hands, a flutter in his stomach, stutter in his speech and no fucking clue how to act around her.  
_What’s considered cool nowadays anyway?_  
Well, probably not this.

He was still fidgeting on the spot as he waited for her to answer, but he didn’t expect her to crawl beneath the covers as quickly as she did. The ones he had kicked away during his sleep so he fucking hoped they were not drenched with his sweat. He gulped uncomfortably.  
“Okay.” He mumbled to himself. _Calm the fuck down, Barnes_. Goddamn, even a third person could tell that this looked pretty desperate. His cheeks went hot as she pulled the blankets up to her chin.  
Okay, no worries. Just get your sleep. She’s not even here.

He laid down cautiously, her already staring at his weird behavior.  
“You okay?” She mumbled sleepily.  
“Fine.” He stammered, clearing his throat once more before laying there, stock still, his arms pressed so close to his body it looked like he was having some sort of seizure.

“Bucky” She whispered, her heart hammering as she stared at his face which was illuminated by the soft rays of moonlight shining through his window. He was still staring at the ceiling with wide eyes, actively avoiding her stare as he felt it resting on him.

“Is this okay?” She whispered and he had no time to wonder what the hell she was talking about before she inched closer. _Way_ too fucking close, yet he couldn’t bring his shock-frozen body to protest. She moved to his side, her hand hesitating centimeters above his damp chest and he literally stopped breathing to avoid himself getting into contact with her, but she shattered those hopes as she pressed her body close to his.

His eyes went even wider as she placed a closed hand over his jumping heart. She had to feel what he was going through based on how incredibly quick it was beating, he felt like he was going to have a straight-up heart attack.

Her chest was pressed against his left side, her left arm draped over his torso.  
Bucky felt his brain stutter and if the world around him hadn’t been all peace and quiet before it was fucking dead silent now, only the freaking blasting of his heartbeat in the quiet of his room.  
He was drowning in absolute panic, that hot feeling burning in his chest, mingling with something else that didn’t make him feel all that bad anymore.  
He was dying and floating at the same time. Perhaps he had left his body and was currently watching his corpse and the angel that was hugging it closely.

He doesn’t feel all of her, the coldness of his arm preventing any of that and he blinked a couple of times, coming back to earth before realizing that he actually had a mouth and the ability to speak, like, to make actual words come out of it.

Yet a high-pitched “mm-hmm” Was still the only confirmation to come out of that.

She craned her neck to look at him and her face was so fucking close to his he wanted to cry of despair and nervousness all at the same time.  
“Please tell me if this is too much.” She whispered so softly, so close to his ear, he felt her warm breath fanning over his neck, which sent a tingle down his spine and back up to the fucking tips of his ears.

He gently began to pull his metal arm from underneath her and a pang went through her chest, thinking he was going to push her away, but instead he put his arm around her shoulder, cold on her back, rising goose bumps on her entire skin. She liked the feeling.

She was then fully pressed against his side, her equally hammering heart so close to his. And, hell, was she feeling the overload on his under the tips of her fingers, but it strangely calmed her- knowing she wasn’t the only one experiencing it.  
She placed her head on the spot where metal converged with flesh, the icy cold against the shell of her ear while the burning hot of his skin was against her already heated cheeks.

“Please stay.” He said quietly, the rumble going through his chest and she felt its vibrations going through her own body.

He knew he should let go of her, but the feeling of her laying in his arms was one so unsurprisingly addictive he thought that ending this moment while she was already laying pressed against him, so warm and so fucking _soft_ …  
It would be a shame to let it come to an end.

He hadn’t felt any sort of softness or kindness in so long, he almost teared up at the unfamiliarity of it. And now it was laying right there beside him and he knew only after those few minutes that he wouldn’t be able to keep himself on the bed’s edge ever again.

And the thing was that she sure as hell didn’t want him to.

***

 

_Their groans and pants filled the silence of the room along with the squeaking of the bedframe. Bucky was buried deep inside her, deeper with each thrust, hitting up against her cervix to make her moan as she rode the line between pain and pleasure.  
He could feel the heat of her slippery skin against his as he pumped into her, seeing his dick move in and out of her writhing body as he looked down between them. He ran his right hand along the length of her spine, gripping her hip with the other as he drove himself inside on a maddening pace._

_His metal arm had sneaked underneath her, keeping her hips up as her knees had begun to shake, no longer being able to keep herself upright. He couldn’t see her face as it was pressed into the sheets to muffle her sounds, her white blonde hair sticking to the back of her neck._

He wasn’t questioning it. He knew it was a dream. Felt like a memory from his twenties, since he was back in his old room in Brooklyn. Wallpaper peeling off the walls, the squeaky bed and musty mattress, the smell of sex lingering in the room…  
Everything was blurry, like in a sex-driven haze between those two sweaty bodies.

_“Keep your head up, darlin’.” He panted, his pace going slower, but deeper as she mewled into the pillows, her hands going from underneath her to move above her head, gripping the headboard’s metal ornament forcefully- desperately almost, as she longed for that sweet relief waiting for her at such a short distance. He groaned, the vibrations going through their bodies as she clenched down on him._

_“I wanna hear you.” He growled as he planted his right hand next to her head, clawing at the sheets underneath while the other hand gripped her hips so hard he knew he would leave bruises. That thought only turned him on more._

_“Come on, babe.” He whispered against her skin, leaving open-mouthed kisses against the skin of her neck and throat, tasting the saltiness there and smelling her scent._  
It weirdly seemed so familiar, but again; he didn’t question it.  
_She turned her head to the side, revealing her flushed face and fucked-out stare through her hooded eyes._  
His hips stuttered as his brain put the pieces together, her facial features, one by one.  
He knew her. The mix of grey and brown around her blown-out pupils, the dyed hair, the freckles on her cheeks, and the swollen lips she was biting on…

Holy shit.

Bucky gasped as his eyes shot open, adrenaline making his skin burn as his back straightened, sitting upright in his bed.  
“Bucky?” He heard her sleepy mumble and he whirled his head around to see her laying next to him, blinking up at him through squinting eyes.  
The other image of her face was still so vividly playing in his head he had to suppress a whimper at the sight of _her_ body sprawled out next to him.  
His eyes went wide as he hunched over, covering the obvious tent inside his sweatpants, groaning as he put too much pressure on his hard dick. A hot lightning of pure pleasure shot through his abdomen and he squeezed his eyes shut, gasping as he tried to control his breathing.

“Bucky are you okay? Did you have another nightmare?” She asked, sleep still tugging at her voice. She sat up and laid her arm around his back and he literally jumped at the touch, her skin like fucking fire on his sensitive one.  
He bent over as he stumbled out of bed, the blanket around his ankles as she sat there, staring at him with big, worried eyes.  
He turned his back to her as he hurried into the bathroom, locking the door behind him before even thinking about turning on the light.

He spotted himself in the mirror, his strands of hair sticking to his forehead, the flush on his cheeks and the darkness in his eyes due to the dilated pupils.  
He looked like a damn mess.

“Bucky?” Her soft and gentle voice sounded behind the door and he hastily put a hand against it as the handle moved. Yet the door remained locked.  
“Are you sure you’re okay?” She questioned and he ran a hand through his damp hair.  
“’M fine!” He croaked out, fidgeting on the spot as he suppressed a desperate groan threatening to escape his throat.  
His face was burning hotly. He felt the shame and embarrassment all the way up to the prickle of his scalp.  
“Please, I- I… I just need to be alone right now.” He said, his head resting against the door.  
She hesitated before she answered again.  
“Okay… But, I’m here if you need me, I- I can make breakfast if you like?”  
God, she was too fucking pure for this world. _Definitely_ too pure for him.  
But how was she so fucking calm about this? It made him hope she didn’t notice what all that had been about after all.

“I…” He sighed “I’d like that. Thank you.”  
“Okay then.” She replied, almost cheerfully as he heard her steps leading out of his room.

He let out a shaky breath and slumped to his knees on the bathroom tiles.  
He groaned again as he ran a hand up his thigh to cup the bulge that had formed in his boxers. He was still so goddamn hard; he could positively confirm that he had never been so fucking hard in his entire fucking life.

Beads of sweat had begun to roll over his face and he quickly got rid of his clothes to step into the shower, the cold water on his burning skin cooling him off a little while also sparking off the arousal settling in his bones.

He let the water fall down his back, his metal hand resting against the equally cold tiles as he took deep breaths.

He had _never_ had a dream like this.  
He couldn’t even remember the last time his dick had gotten hard because of… _anything_.  
He hadn’t jerked off in _weeks_ because his cock barely got hard anymore. Also he hadn’t felt the need to masturbate like a fucking teenager the second he got some alone time.  
His dick miraculously didn’t work that way anymore.  
Well it hadn’t, anyway. Not before _she_ had entered his life. 

He remembered the old days as the neighborhood playboy; the ladies would’ve just been _running_ after him and he would’ve gotten them back home one by one, sometimes even five days in a row. Always having a body to keep him warm during the cold nights.  
But that hadn’t been it.  
That hadn’t been the reason she had stayed.  
Yet it had somehow ignited something in him that had caused the biggest erection he had had in decades. And he wanted to disappear, sink into the ground so badly as he saw the image of her fucked-out dream-face in front of his closed eyelids.

But that was the thing; he couldn’t stop thinking about it. About her.  
And it only made his cock throb even more.

It was already dribbling precome and he closed his hand around his dick, dragging his slick fist from the tip and down the shaft.

That first real contact sent a groan from Bucky’s lips as his eyes fluttered close and he began to give his thick shaft a series of long and lingering strokes which coaxed even more sounds to slip past his lips. Deep, breathy sighs filled the room along with the steady rhythm of his own hand on his cock and the splatter of the water on the stony tiles.

He couldn’t get her face out of his head, the sensation of how her body had felt underneath his, her sweaty skin gliding against his while she had clenched around his cock so beautifully.

Rough breaths fell from his lips as he began to move faster, his hips grinding against the hand sliding up his shaft.

His voice was heavy with lust, heavy with need as it was being drowned out by the white noise of the pouring water running over his overheated skin.

His arms tensed and his abs contracted when he picked up the speed, swirling his thumb around the tip of his cock, flicking his wrist and bucking his hips against his hand.  
He was getting close.

His eyes were squeezed shut, his breath coming out in shallow pants as he moved his wrist faster, his movements starting to stutter.

The high-pitched whimpers of his name falling from her lips still rang inside his head, the clenching of her walls around him mimicked by the squeeze of his fist around his dick and he tipped back his head as he came with a strangled moan falling from his lips, keeping his hand on his cock while his orgasm washed over him.  
His hips thrust forward into his hand as he came in thick spurts of milky fluid, covering his hand and hip as he groaned with his forehead falling forward against the tiles.

Her name fell from his lips in whispers like a goddamn prayer.  
His chest was heaving, the icy water cascading down his slick body, and he stayed like that for a moment to let the water wash away his come.

_Fuck._

He was fucked. 

Completely and utterly _fucked._


	31. Birthday Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky completely forgets about Abbie's Birthday after the rather interesting start of the day. He tries to make up for it tho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two dummies flirting/talking/being soft and stupid

Both shame and disgust was burning hotly on his skin, mingling inside his stomach which was growling furiously. He hadn’t been able to look at himself in the mirror after what had happened in his dreams and then in the shower. A continuous blush was spread across his cheeks and he even pitied himself for his actions.   
Even the slightest thought of it made him curse himself. 

Who the fuck was he to be thinking those vulgarizing thoughts about her? How could his mind be twisting her beautiful, innocent nature into something so perverse for his own fucking pleasure?

He despised himself.  
And he didn’t know how he could ever look into her big, beautiful eyes again without immediately melting into a puddle.

Well, at least he thought so as he stepped down the stairs to the living area and his brows furrowed as he looked at the balloons floating in the room.  
It hit him when he read the ‘21’ printed on them and panic flooded him once more.

The rest of the team had already gathered around downstairs, sitting at the table, laughing and eating cake. For breakfast. Because it was her fucking birthday.  
He wanted to just disappear off the face of the earth.

“Hey, Barnes. We saved you a spot.” Natasha shouted as she pointed at the seat between her and Annabelle. He gulped, his face going even redder.

“Yeah, but no cake!” Sam added as he filled up his plate with another slice.

“That is bullshit and you know it, we have more than enough. C’mere and enjoy the feast, soldier.” Tony said. He really hated that nickname.

He sat down between the two ladies and shifted uncomfortably on his chair.   
“Still hurting down there?” Sam asked, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.  
“Oh, you bet your ass, my girl kicked _your_ ass!” He added and laughed while everyone else shook their head.  
It was fine. He was a super soldier. Took him an hour to heal.  
But that wasn’t what he was concerned about.

He looked to his left, staring at Abbie with wide eyes.  
She had changed into shorts and a long-sleeved shirt which complemented her skin nicely.  
He had never seen that one on her and figured it was only for special occasions, such as her birthday.  
She laughed and moved a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked stunning.

She turned her head as soon as he had noticed his stare.  
She smiled up at him.  
“Hi.”   
He cleared his throat, ready to apologize.  
“Are you feeling better? I’m so sorry I forgot to go up and look for you again, I just got distracted by this surprise-breakfast and I didn’t have the time to- “  
He shook his head in disbelief. She always thought about him first and that really fucking confused him.  
“I’m fine, doll… but- I forgot to wish you a happy birthday.” His brows knotted, face contorted with worry.  
She only continued smiling.  
“Oh, no worries. The day is still young, you know.” She said and nudged his side with her elbow and winked.  
He nodded and looked back at her, the smallest of smiles playing on his lips.  
“Happy birthday, doll.” He whispered so between the shouting and laughing of the others only she could hear it. Her face lit up and only with her smile had the day truly begun.  
“Thank you, Bucky.”

“Alright, calm down everyone!” Tony pulled them out of their stare and their heads turned to look at him. He was still sitting in his chair while his arms were stretched out like a preacher’s.  
“I’ll have a few announcements to make concerning the birthday girl.” He smiled and finally stood up, raising his mug filled with coffee.  
“Everyone pretend this is a glass of champagne.” He rushed and Annabelle giggled.

“Since you, dear Anna, are now officially an adult in every way, S.H.I.E.L.D can now formally register you as a part of the Avengers.” 

“Wohoooo!” Sam yelled and Steve whistled through his fingers.  
“Silence, or I’ll fight you.” Tony said into their directions, brows raised as everyone chuckled.

“Anyway, since we’ve already talked and no one’s seeing a problem with that, we will unfortunately have to introduce you to the public as well, so on account of celebrating your birthday, since you can also drink legally now…” He winked and raised his mug.

“You know that in Germany you can drink when you’re 16, right?” She smirked and crossed her arms in front of her chest. He scoffed dramatically.

“And on account of announcing your accession into Team Avengers” He continued  
“We will not only be having a huge party at the Stark tower, but you will also join us on your first mission.” 

Annabelle gasped, her eyes ripped wide open as she gaped at him, a smile spreading on her face after a couple of seconds.  
“Are you serious?” She whispered and Tony nodded.  
“I am, actually. I’ve seen your development over the past couple of weeks and according to both of your trainers” He pointed at Wanda and Sam who both sent her a wink “You are ready to get into the field. If you want to.” 

She didn’t know how to answer. All of this was a lot to process, a lot of it giving her anxiety. Weirdly enough, the idea of a social gathering making her freak out the most, but she had to admit that it sounded pretty awesome.  
Avenger. 

“Yeah, okay.” She mumbled, nodding her head slowly “I’m in.”

“Then it’s officially official.” Tony announced and the whole crowd cheered.  
She reached down under the table to intertwine her fingers with Bucky’s.  
He didn’t notice she had touched his metal hand until he felt the movement that came with it and after looking down he closed his fingers around hers gently, hopefully applying just enough pressure.  
He smiled back at her.

“Also I have another surprise waiting for you, but you’ll get that after we’ve eaten.” Tony said and finally sat down again.  
“Hear ye, hear ye.” Bruce mumbled as he smiled knowingly at Abbie.

“I’ll look forward to it.” She laughed.

The rest was spent with Tony and Pepper, whom she finally got to meet, planning the dinner party which would be taking place in three days already.  
Apparently the whole crew had already known about it for at least two weeks and the planning only needed a little fine-tuning. Everything else had already been taken care of.

The mission would go down the following night, after the party. More than enough time to sleep off a potential hangover, she thought to herself as she walked towards the couch where Bucky was sitting, watching a Planet Earth documentary.  
She flopped down next to him and placed her legs into his lap, resting her head on the pillows.  
“Hello.” She said and stretched her arms above her head, smiling up at him.  
He gulped nervously.  
“Hi.” He replied and hesitantly rested his hand on her shin, drawing circles into her bare skin with his thumb.

“What are you doing?” She asked and looked at the TV-screen, watching some penguins waddling across the ice.  
“I’m watching, uhm… Planet Earth?” He said, not sure of himself and pressed the info-button on the remote.  
“Look at you.” Abbie teased “You’re a real tech freak. Can take over Tony’s job soon.”   
“Yeah right.” He chuckled, giving her knees a squeeze and she squealed, wiggling her legs.

“I mean it! Congrats for finally knowing how to switch channels and shit-” She said and Bucky gave her a mischievous grin tugging at the corner of his mouth before he grabbed her ankles and pulled her further down the length of the couch until her hips were resting in his lap and she looked up at him in surprise for only a second before his hands had found their way up her waist, his fingers digging lightly into the soft skin of her t-shirt-covered belly and she immediately jerked, letting out a squeak.

“No!” She laughed as he tickled her sides and she thrashed around on his lap and sofa, pulling her arms down as his fingers tickled her armpits and she giggled manically, the sound rolling about in the room, vibrant and heart warming.  
It came in fits and bursts as she threw her head back with laughter, her hands pushing at his arm until he finally released her.  
He hadn’t even noticed he was laughing as well.

Her shoulders shook and her belly hurt as she fought to breathe, stifling the tears that had rolled over her face. But the lack of oxygen didn’t matter.  
She heard his laugh, rolling out of him like the waves on a long, shallow beach.  
It was rare, her hearing that sound in the first place, but even rarer that it sounded real.

She just stared up at him in wonder, watching the joy on his face disappear into something else as his eyes found hers.

Her smile seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right amount of shyness that an unexpected rush of warmth flooded his body, both of their chests still heaving.

His hands were still resting on her waist, his fingers slightly digging into the smooth skin there and he applied a little bit more pressure, clenching his jaw, as he saw the tip of her tongue darting out to lick her bottom lip. She didn’t break eye contact once.

“For the love of god, just get a room you two.” Natasha broke the heavy silence as she sat at the dining table, her legs propped up on it while she read a magazine.

Both of their faces grew hot and Annabelle sat back up, pulling her legs from off his lap as Bucky’s back straightened again.  
They had blocked out everything else, even Natasha who had been sitting there the entire time.  
Bucky cleared his throat as he ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it behind his ears.  
Abbie did the same.

“Shut up.” She mumbled and Nat sent her a wink as she chewed on her gum, revealing the devilish grin on her face.

The pounding between her legs had gotten almost unbearable and she bit her lip so hard when she saw the redness of his ears while he avoided her stare abashedly, she thought it would split.  
He was just too damn adorable. And hot. And _ughhhhhhhh_.

Her lady parts and rational mind were obviously not on the same page.

Bad idea, Abbie. Bad idea.  
But was it really?  
 _Yes, shut up_ , it totally was.

“Kid.” Tony interrupted them, distracting from the uncomfortable silence as he entered the room, staring down at the small screen in his hands.  
“I’ve got your other birthday present right here. You should take it now.” He said as he handed her the device, the display showing a silhouette of a person’s head as much as Bucky could make out, frowning in confusion.

Abbie looked about the same, cocking her head to the side as she eyed the screen suspiciously, before a second later her mouth fell open and water filled her eyes, tears quickly cascading down her face as she let out a sob.  
“ _Mama?_ ” 

Bucky’s eyes widened with realization as he got up from the couch and he signaled for Nat to leave her to talk to her mom by herself, Tony joining them as they walked up the stairs.

“Thank you.” He said as he looked at the man who only cocked a brow at him.  
“You have no idea how much this means to her.”

Tony nodded slowly, looking back at him “Yeah, well... it really was a pain in the ass getting through S.H.I.E.L.D to get to her. You can’t imagine how far up on their radar she is. Trying anything to get to Hydra, they truly are convinced they would spy on her mother to get back to her-” He got lost in his talking as ever so often, but cleared his throat before continuing.  
“But I’m glad I could do this for her. She deserves it.” 

Almost two hours later Annabelle finally ended the call with her mother.

She hadn’t felt this relieved in a while, finally having let her know that she was alive and well… it had eaten her up inside, not to speak of the thoughts that had crossed her mind; the images of her mom not bearing the loss of her only daughter.

But she was fine. Her mom was okay and so was she.

She stepped into her room, only to notice a paper laying on her blanket and she approached the neatly made bed.

_‘Meet me on the rooftop’_

Were the only words written in cursive and she immediately knew whom this note belonged to.

Her stomach fluttered as she quickly changed from shorts into sweatpants and pulled on a denim jacket over her shirt, gripping the note and her phone in her hands before she rushed upstairs, her heart racing crazily with the thrill of anticipation.

She was panting the second she had reached the final stairs, pushing the door open which separated the roof from the life inside.  
And she was not disappointed as she let out a gasp at the sight in front of her.

The sun was setting on the horizon, mostly hidden by different buildings, yet the sight was still unimaginably beautiful.  
Although it was still bright enough to see, the entire rooftop was illuminated by the warm light of lamps and fairy lights along the way towards the cushioned bench seats, sheltered by sunshade curtains with a pointed top, giving the whole thing a very oriental-temple feeling. But it looked cozy as fucking hell with the amount of pillows piling up on the sitting space.  
Her eyes followed the path until she met a furiously fidgeting Bucky, standing by the low table in front of the benches and the very familiar fireplace behind that. The orange glow of the flames gave his stressed face a softer look, made the deep wrinkles on his forehead appear less worried.  
He managed a smile onto that strained face as he saw the joy sparkling in her eyes.  
It seemed so much easier now with her finally joining him there, making him believe this wasn’t such a horrible idea.

“Whoa.” She marveled as she looked around, her gaze finding back to him in the end.  
“You did all this?” She asked with eyes so wide he swore they were right out of one of those Disney movies she always forced him to watch with her.  
“Mostly.” He coughed and rubbed his neck awkwardly.  
“I… had a little help.”   
That was a lie. He had a lot of help.  
Steve had grinned at him throughout the entire process of fluffing up the pillows and hanging up the lampions and hoping to god that nothing would burn down.   
What a tragic end.

But no.   
Sam had bought the food and Wanda had made sure that everything looked nice and comfortable, almost stealing the spot in the end because; _“it looks so freaking cozy I want to stay here all night”._

“It looks wonderful.” She breathed, standing right in front of him. His hands twitched at his sides as he practically vibrated on the spot, not being able to stand still.

“Is it- why… is this… for me?” She asked timidly, a small smile tugging on her lips.  
“Uhm, yes, I-” He sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets to avoid reaching for her right there and then.   
She had clearly cried after talking to her mother, happy tears nonetheless, yet her eyes were still glassy, her hair messy from running her hand through it all the time…  
So how did she manage to look so goddamn beautiful all the time?

“I wanted to apologize. For this morning. The others had this crap all planned out, bringing you cake and Tony even gave you the best gift of all…” He bit his tongue to suppress a desperate groan “And I forgot to tell you Happy Birthday, so… I- maybe breakfast wasn’t my personal best, but… I’d like to make up for it. For, with, uhm, dinner.”

They both knew what that sounded like and he intentionally moved his hair to cover up most of his blushing face.

But she couldn’t deny that she liked the sound of it and that this gesture was by far the most thoughtful thing she had witnessed in a while. Probably ever.

She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. He let out a little sound of surprise, but at the same time his arms had wound themselves around her waist and back instinctively quick.

The thought crossed his mind that perhaps he should let her go, but now that she already had her arms around him, pulling him closer, her warm breath hitting his throat and covering the rest of his body in goose bumps, it just seemed like a waste to let the moment come to an end, so he held on tight and since she hadn’t shoved him away already or slapped a hand across his face, he figured he wasn’t being too creepy after all.

“Thank you, Bucky. Its perfect.” She whispered against his skin and he wasn’t one hundred percent sure of what his face showed in that exact moment, but the tug in his cheeks revealed the smile which stretched his lips.

She pulled back to let her gaze linger on his for a second before turning to face the dinner Bucky had eventually decided on buying for her.

“Oh my god. I haven’t eaten pizza in so long.” She groaned and shook her fist in victory.  
“Yesssss.”   
He grinned at her, sitting down onto the soft cushions.  
“Well, then. I hope you enjoy it, doll.”

 

Although after the meal they were both pretty full, having talked and laughed so much in between, they had still decided on roasting marshmallows on sticks over the fireplace in front of them.  
She was actually very glad for it by then, since the air had cooled down significantly, the dark adding to the coldness and she had wrapped the denim jacket closer around her body.

“Jesus.” She muttered quietly as she stared into the fire, lost in thought.  
Bucky turned his head toward her.  
“What?”  
She snorted.  
“Nothing. I just thought about… ugh, I don’t even know. I just feel so old all of a sudden.”

He raised his eyebrow at her and she let out a laugh.  
“Oh, come on. We all know that no one can beat you, grandpa.” She rolled her eyes at him playfully and he nudged her side, making her let out a laugh.  
“But seriously, I… I’m still just a kid, you know?” She looked at him and almost immediately after her face contorted.  
“Ew, no. That sounded wrong. I mean like; I still feel like-” She took a deep breath, looking at the stars above her while he still just counted the freckles on her face.  
He should really be a better listener, but those damn freckles were just too damn inviting to be counted.   
_Pull yourself together, Barnes._

“I still feel like I’m just out of school, still wet behind the ears with my whole life ahead of me, you know?” 

“You still do. Still have your whole life in front of you, doll.” He said, watching her face as she stared up into the night sky.

“I know, but it feels different now. I still felt the same four months ago. Back then my biggest problem was what to wear to a college party or what I’ll write my term papers about.” She chuckled and he got where she was going with this.

“Those problems seem so small now. Back then I thought that in half a year I’d, hell… I don’t know, fail my exams, travel around, have a boyfriend…”  
She bit her lip, lowering her head to look back into the flames.

“Just… be free. But instead now I have so much responsibility, so much power I’m not even sure how to control and I’m living with the _Avengers_.” She laughed.  
“My old life seems so small now and suddenly I feel old. Because everything I did before was so fucking meaningless, but now… it can’t be anymore.”   
She sighed and looked at her burnt marshmallow, wrinkling her nose as she saw the black goo around her stick, throwing it back into the flames altogether.  
She wiped her hands on her sweatpants and leaned back into the spacious and couch-like bench, sinking into the pillows.

“I have to be the adult now. But I’m not sure how that goes.” 

He thought back to when he was 21. His own birthday.  
Well, he surely didn’t remember the night anymore. But he also didn’t the morning after. Just the fact that he had woken up next to a brunette, god knows where, with one of his shoes missing and one hell of a headache.

Nope. He hadn’t been much of an adult either back then.

“What am I even complaining about, I’m over here crying about not wanting to grow up like freaking Peter Pan and you… you had to live through the war during your twenties. I’m such a piece of shit.” She muttered, shaking her head.

“Wait, like who?” He asked perplexedly.

“Forget it. He’s just a boy in green spandex.” She mumbled and he frowned, the rest of the information getting to him.

“You’re not a piece of shit for feeling that way, doll. We had our own problems and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t all grown up at your age, either.” He let out a dry laugh, thinking back to his partly embarrassing, partly douchebag-youth, not finding much that would put him as a role model.

“Oh, really Mr. Barnes. What did you do back then, huh? Steal some bread?”  
He snorted, shaking his head at her in confusion “Why the hell would I steal bread?” 

“I don’t know!” She stuttered, trying to defend herself “I have no idea what you guys did back in the day.”

“Well” He sighed deeply, already regretting the words that were about to exit his mouth “I don’t really think the term for that has changed over the years… but I was a real _dick_.”  
He finished and Abbie almost choked on her own spit.

“What?”

“I mean I used to be an asshole. I seriously have no idea how Steve managed to put up with me for so long.” A smile tugged at his lips as he thought back.

“I don’t believe you. You- you couldn’t have been. You have manners, Bucky… I feel like that- “ 

“I was a player, Abbie. I played with girls’ feelings and used them for sex. I didn’t care. Never cared about much when I was younger, even if I broke their hearts.”   
Jup, he definitely regretted that one. But the truth had to get out eventually.

“I was an _asshole_ back then.” His head lowered between his shoulder blades, nails picking at the skin of his thumb.

It took her a while to answer.

“So… imagine you and I met back then. Would I have liked you?” She was still pretty hesitant, choosing her words carefully.

“I don’t think you would’ve even talked to me, to be honest.” He chuckled, sitting back against the pillows as well, opposite of her as he pulled his legs up and turned to face her.

Her eyes were squinting at him. Both from tiredness and thinking hard.

“That means you’re a different man now. Because I like you. You’re not who you used to be.”

“I know.” He sighed deeply “Maybe it has its pro and cons.” 

“I think it’s a pro. I mean, otherwise we probably wouldn’t even have met each other. You wouldn’t have saved me from Hydra or- or I wouldn’t have had such an awesome birthday.” She winked as she pointed at everything around her.  
He let out a laugh and smirked back at her.

“Oh, and to answer your question from before; I absolutely stole some bread in my free time, yes.”

She threw her head back as she laughed and he never felt such pride as when he knew it was him making her happy or just letting a smile appear on her face.

Although her laughter found a quick end as she was interrupted by a yawn.

“Bucky?” She mumbled sleepily as she moved over to his side of the bench.

“Yes?” He asked so low it was almost a whisper.

“Can you tell me more stories? But not the ones where you banged ladies, more like the ones about you and Steve and what it was like back in the day? But only the nice stuff.”  
He chuckled and wasn’t even surprised when she placed her legs over his, her head resting against his chest while her arms had found their way around his waist.

He looked down at her. Her eyes were squinted almost shut. She was barely awake, balancing on the verge of sleep.

He smiled as he laid an arm across her shoulders and the other one on top of her knee, feeling the coldness that had seeped into the fabric of the denim covering her back and her sweatpants on her legs.

“Doll, you’re freezing.” He stated, but she only hummed, pressing her cheek against his chest.

“You’re warm.” 

He stroked his hand up and down her back to make her warm up a little, but she interrupted him, urging him;  
“Story. Now. Please.”

And so he did.  
He told her about every time him and Steve had gotten up to nonsense. How he had beaten up his bullies and how he had just gone back to get his ass kicked some more.  
How they had taken on the world, even after his mom’s death.  
How after the serum, their bond had only strengthened. 

She had fallen asleep before he had even gotten to that part.

Her heart thumped in unison with slow, shallow puffs of air leaving her lips. Serenity was plastered on her face as she slept. At peace and oblivious to the physical world.

In her sleep she was angelic, too. Her face fresh as a dew drop, her only movement the slight rise and fall of her chest.

Bucky had his metal arm around her back as he hooked his other arm under her legs, lifting her up as he stood up from the bench and her arms around his back loosened, dangling in the air as she was deep in slumber.

Her head rested in the crook of his neck while he carried her downstairs, the lights still being on, yet no one noticed him bringing her to her room, opening the door with his elbow and letting himself inside.

He placed her onto the bed carefully, pulling his arms from underneath her but in the same moment she reached out for them, pulling him back in.  
“Stay.” She breathed, her eyes still closed. Her grip on him was so gentle, yet determined, not leaving him much of a choice as he saw the shiver that rattled her frame.

_One last time._  
He told himself before shrugging off his pullover, leaving him in a plain shirt and he walked around to the other side of the bed, crawling on top to cautiously lift her torso into a sitting position. She was almost completely limp, eyes barely able to stay open as she blinked up at him.  
He shrugged her out of the cold denim jacket and she let him, feeling the icy skin of her arms underneath.  
“Thanks.” She mumbled as he offered her his pullover and she put it on.

It was at least three sizes too big. Well, Bucky was a broad guy after all.   
She looked like a navy-blue ghost with flappy arms.  
A small smile appeared on her lips when her eyes fell close, humming happily as the warmth that still lingered there transferred into her own body.  
She laid back into the pillows and he chuckled, pulling out the covers from underneath them and tucking both of them in, her arm immediately finding its way around his chest, her head moving to rest there too.   
His arm wandered around her back again, pulling her closer as his metal hand laid on his stomach.

“Good night, Bucky.” She whispered and he smiled into the darkness before drifting off into slumber as well.

“Sleep well, doll.”


	32. Ladies Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abbie and the girls make sure that they have everything for the big night, going on a shopping spree and drinking a little too much wine. Drunken tales are the most naughty ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Wanda is drinking too in this chapter but since I switched the movie timelines in the beginning I'm making her older as well so she'd be like 18.

She spent the next day enjoying Natasha’s and Wanda’s birthday present for her; going shopping for the big party.  
They had decided to go for everything.  
Makeup, dress, shoes and whatnot.  
“I’m not really sure what to wear, you guys…” Abbie muttered when Wanda pulled her into the 5th store.

“Don’t worry we’ll find you something.” Wanda said happily as she dragged Annabelle after her.  
They had already made up a time for a ‘real hairstylist’ to come to the Stark tower before the party. To redye and cut what’s uneven. She had agreed with a harrumph.

But they had been on the search for a fitting dress for well over two hours and they had found absolutely _nada_.

“You know, I don’t even know why we’re here running around and not like- doesn’t Tony have people for this?” She whined and Natasha shook her head.  
“This is our birthday present for you. We go shopping in the shops Tony recommended for us. We pick out a nice dress for you. We have a lady’s night out. Oh, and tonight we’re getting _drunk_.” She snickered and Wanda threw her head back with laughter.  
“Oh my god I haven’t been drunk in so loooong.”  
“Way too long, sister. I hear that.” Nat agreed and turned.  
“How is this my present when it’s is just exhausting for _me_?” Abbie groaned as the two women greeted the cashier who had already been waiting patiently for her.

“Yes, mister Stark has told me you’d come.” The men replied, shaking Nat’s hand.  
“Tobias chose my dress at my inauguration.” Wanda said excitedly.  
“Inauguration…?” Abbie mumbled confusedly.  
“He knew best how to fit it to my powers and my personality. That’s what’s most important when we show you to the world.” 

Her words actually made her kind of nervous. This actually was a big fucking deal.  
She’d be a part of the Avengers. The whole world would know of her existence. Also the bad ones. Probably the ones who had done this to her. She doubted they had gotten them all.

“So, like… like The Hunger Games?” She asked, raising a brow at the man and Wanda.  
They both started laughing.

“Sort of.” He answered. He had short, grey hair and wrinkles around his blue eyes as he smiled back at her. He looked very kind.  
“We’ll just look for what colors suit you and what style fits you best. I need to know what your powers are and now that you’re standing in front of me I can say which design might fit you. It’s still your decision though if you want to wear it or not. Or maybe you decide to go for classic instead of modern, it’s completely up to you. I’m just here to make it look good and give you advice on what fits best.” He explained and Abbie nodded slowly.

“So. What do you say, should we give it a shot?”

***

 

She had tried on a bunch of different stuff, but she was relieved to say that Tobias met her needs and expectations. She couldn’t bear one other person pulling clothes over her body which looked absolutely ridiculous on her.  
“Nothing shiny. I want classic. Simple. Yet elegant. Probably what like 99% of all people say when they go in here to buy something.” She huffed, already exhausted. The dresses sure were heavier than they looked and it was an exercise for itself to pull them over her head.  
Tobias chuckled.  
“Probably. But I might have an idea of what you’re thinking about.” He said and went off to drag the dresses behind him.  
She turned and looked into the mirror. 

A couple of weeks ago this would’ve looked waaaaay worse. But no longer were there ribs poking out like a starving dog or her hipbones prominently sticking out underneath her skin.  
She couldn’t stand seeing herself like that, reminding her of all that they had taken from her.  
But now she looked pretty healthy. There was still a long way to go to recovery, especially on the inside, but she didn’t look beaten up anymore.  
Her body was shaped by the effects of the serum, exercise having quickly formed her body.  
She was eating a healthy amount of food and it was one of the first times she liked seeing the effects of that on her body as well.  
She looked healthy.  
She had curves.  
She was working out and stronger than ever.

Perhaps she was at the peak of her life right now.  
Although she was still pretty nervous and didn’t think of herself as a ‘hero’ or that she could ever be one, being way too clumsy and awkward and not outgoing at all for that shit, but she didn’t feel regret in the decision. Didn’t feel like the universe was telling her _not_ to.  
For the first time in her life she felt genuinely good about a decision.

“Here I am.” Tobias moved the curtain and she jumped for a second as she was only standing there in her bra and underwear, quickly realizing why she was there in the first place.  
“And I think I’ve found the perfect one for you.”

***

Natasha popped the next bottle of Prosecco open, a gush of foam following as she whirled the bottle around.  
“Oh my god, you’re so drunk.” Wanda giggled, yet her cheeks were pretty red as well.

Back after a successful shopping tour they had all drunken more than just a few glasses of wine and beer and Annabelle knew her body; normally she would’ve been as tipsy as the rest of them, but strangely she didn’t feel a whole lot, only a low tingle in her belly. A warmth spreading through her body.  
Perhaps that wasn’t even the alcohol at all.  
“You are such a killjoy.” Wanda whined as she pressed the next glass into her palm, her hands wobbling as she did so.  
“You’re not even tipsy.”  
“I’m drinking the whole time!” Abbie laughed as she gulped down the rest of it, demonstrating the fact that she actually did.  
“Yeah, she probably has the thing that Steve has, too.” Nat leaned in to whisper to Wanda, not realizing or being too drunk to realize she was really just speaking loudly.  
“Oooh.” Wanda said, her eyes wide open as she leaned back, her hand propped up on the carpet behind her.

“What thing?” She asked perplexedly, her heart rate going up a little.  
“Well, his metabolism is so fast that he basically can’t get drunk. Except for that stuff that Thor brings from Asgard sometimes. I tell you that stuff can even get the strongest super soldier puking his guts out.” She said and Wanda giggled.

“Hm.” Abbie thought “But I don’t think that’s it. Not one hundred percent at least, I still feel relaxed, I feel really good. My vision is sort of… unfocused. My body is tingling, that whole thing.” She tried to explain before Wanda interrupted her. Literally shouting.

“Oh, I know why you’re feeling like that! Let’s forget about Thor for a second and appreciate the fact that this morning I saw you in _Bucky’s sweater_ , how about that?” She squealed and Natasha’s mouth fell open.  
“She did not!” She laughed and Wanda joined her.

The blush spread over her entire face.  
“How about that? How about you shut the hell up.” She grumbled as she poured more Prosecco into her glass. She would never get drunk this way. She needed the strong stuff and she needed it _now_.

“Let me tell you, those things that you’re feeling are due to one certain frosty soldier, hello-hoooo?” Nat fanned some air into her face with her own hand. She rolled her eyes.

“Oh, if I think about those arms of his I think my body would start tingling too.” Natasha bit her lip suggestively, winking at Annabelle and making her shield her face with her hand.

“Oh. My. _God_.” She hissed, but couldn’t suppress a grin at the thought. At the thought of his arms around her every time he hugged her close to him.

“I bet that’s what you’re saying every time, right?” Nat added and sent Wanda rolling on the floor with laughter.

“Oh my _god, Bucky_.” She moaned and threw her head back, making Abbie lunge forward, clamping her hand over her mouth. Yup, she was _way_ too drunk.

“I seriously can’t believe you guys.” She muttered as Nat laughed against her palm, occasionally licking it to make her let go. She eventually did.

“But seriously, how is it?” Wanda asked and Abbie’s eyes went wide.  
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you guys, but we’ve never slept together.”

“That’s true, Wanda. They can’t.” Nat chimed in “When they fuck it’s _making love_.”

“Oh yeah?” Annabelle asked, her voice suddenly really high-pitched.  
“So what about you and Bruce, huh? Playin’ the game of hide the cucumber?” She said and Nat got quiet.  
“And you” She pointed at Wanda “Does Vision even have a dick or does he make you lick his glow stone?”

There was a short silence, before they all began to snort with laughter, bursting into a fit of giggles.

“Hide the cucumber?” Natasha laughed.  
“I’ll tell you, if he wants me to I’ll totally lick his _glow stone_.” Wanda wiggled her eyebrows.

Abbie listened as the girls rambled on, her heart making a jump before the words left her mouth.  
“And I’ll warm up that metal arm, whatever the cost.”  
“Oh, I bet you will.” Natasha said and raised her glass into the air, the other two clinking their glasses against it, spilling almost the entire content.

Oh well. She could get used to Ladies’ Night.

***

The next day she got up all cheery, the thrill of anticipation lingering in her veins.

“Morning!” She greeted happily as she entered the living area, sitting down at the table between Steve and Natasha, who did not look like she was having the time of her life.

“I hate you for that stupid serum.” She muttered as she glared at her.  
Wanda at the other end of the table was squinting her eyes, massaging her temple and shushing her.  
“Just. Be. Quiet.” She whispered. They had a hangover. Sure. Well, they did drink like four bottles of wine almost all by themselves.

“That’s right.” Abbie started as she nudged Steve’s side “Only we can do a drinking contest now.” She winked at him, one of his brows raised in confusion as he smiled back at her.

“You can’t get drunk?” He asked.  
“Well, certainly not as easily as those two over there.” She let out a laugh, but Wanda once again shushed her aggressively.  
“What part of _hangover_ did you not understand?” She hissed and Abbie bit her lip to suppress a grin.

“You know we have the party at eight. You better sober up by then.” Bucky said as he entered the room, a smile playing on his lips as well as Abbie looked over her shoulder.  
He sat down next to Steve.

A blush crept up her neck as she thought back at what she had said last night and according to both of the women’s smirks on their faces, they didn’t forget either.  
Damn.

“Well, I’m gonna go back up. Rest a little. Steve, I’ve got your sketchbook in my room if you need it.” Natasha said as she stood up, winking at Annabelle as she quickly averted her gaze.  
Wanda mimicked the red-haired woman.  
“Yes, me too.” 

She knew exactly what they were doing. Those little shits.

“Oh, yes.” Steve replied, obviously having no idea what those two witches were planning and the three of them walked off until there were only her and Bucky left.  
The silence was unbearable until Bucky finally broke it.

“Well” He started “How was your Ladies’ Night?”  
He looked up at her like lost puppy. Her jaw clenched.

“It was good.” She cleared her throat “Really good. We were actually pretty successful.” She explained, the awkwardness fading with the comforting gaze Bucky was watching her with.  
“We found a dress. For them and for me. Shoes, makeup, all that stuff…” She explained happily.  
He watched her as she rambled on, observing the joy that shaped her features and the rosiness of her cheeks due to just having woken up. Her hair was still a bit messy, but so was his. They both enjoyed the sight of it on each other.

“…And then we got back home and got drunk. Well, Nat and Wanda did. I was… sort of tipsy I guess. I think it’s actually true that I can’t get drunk so quickly. Not anymore anyway.” She explained and let out a sigh.  
“I guess the serum is not one hundred percent super-soldier and Wanda’s enhancement. It’s more like- it’s like my body still choses to pick between some of the changes to a certain degree. Like… not getting drunk? We’ll take some of that. Well, you can still get drunk but now it’s harder. Being really strong? I’m definitely stronger than I should be but I’ll never be as strong as you. Also, I’ve seen you jump off buildings. I do that and I guarantee you I’ll break my legs. I’ll probably survive because of the serum, but I’ll definitely break something, you know…?”  
She let out a nervous laugh, fiddling her thumbs in her hands nervously.  
“I think I’m talking too much.”

Bucky suppressed a grin at the sight of her, his heart feeling like it opened up with adoration.

“It’s fine. I’m more the listener anyway, I think you know that by now.” He answered with a laugh of his own.  
“True.” She replied and relaxed visibly.  
“You’re a good listener.”

There was a moment of silence, both of them looking at each other with a smile forming their lips until Annabelle spoke up again.  
“What do you have planned for today? Before the party I mean.”

“I’m not sure.” He let out a sigh, running his hand through his unkempt hair “Tony said he’ll have some hairdressers come in for the men and women and he ‘doesn’t want me to look like a bum’.” He quoted.  
“What’s a bum?” She asked.  
“Oh, it’s like… he just doesn’t want me to look like I live on the streets. He’ll probably force me to get a haircut.”  
“What? No!” She replied instantly, shock on her face.  
“Don’t cut it! It looks so good like this.” She whined and reached out to run her fingers through the soft strands framing his face.  
“I won’t be able to braid it if you cut it all off.” She mumbled absentmindedly and he let out a low chuckle as he relished the feeling of her touch.

“Don’t worry I won’t let them.” He said and she pulled her hand back again.  
“Well, at least you don’t have to spend hours doing your makeup. Or squeeze yourself into a dress…”

“You don’t have to.” He said “Also you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. We can stay in and watch a movie if you’d like…” He said sheepishly, looking down.  
He wasn’t the fondest of social events as well. Yes, he had bought a suit and he had assured Steve he’d come and _yes_ ; The image of her all dolled up was an intriguing one.  
But he had absolutely no problem with staying in sweatpants with her all day long, watching some crappy TV while eating popcorn. That sounded just as inviting as the other thing.

“Sounds good.” She giggled “But I think I’ll enjoy dressing up once in a while. I haven’t put a lot of effort into how I dress and look lately and I think I’ll enjoy feeling like a human again.” She explained, looking up at the ceiling as she thought “Like I give a shit, you know?”

“I know.” He said. He truly did.  
He was the ghost in sweatpants haunting this place. Always lingering in the living room, never stepping in front of the door.  
Perhaps he really did look like a bum.

“Alright then.” She mumbled as she stood up, Bucky instinctively doing the same thing.  
“I think I’ll go up and… take a shower.” She hesitated. She still had ten hours of passing the time. She didn’t need to rush this, yet his proximity in the empty room was almost unbearable to her.  
She needed to get away from him for only a while.

“Yeah, okay. Sure.” He mumbled and stood there with his arms dangling at his sides.

“I’ll… see you around?” She asked timidly and he nodded.

“See you later, doll.”


End file.
